This week's New York Times Magazine cover boldly stated "Why Women's Rights Are the Cause of Our Time." The issue explores misogynist social customs around the developing world, and explains how overcoming them will help bring those societies up to speed with the developed world. As a feminist, seeing the cover line sent me to the floor weeping with gratitude and joy. But we Americans shouldn't pat ourselves on the back just yet. Sadly, the difference between misogyny "over there" and misogyny "over here" is one of degree and not kind.
"Half the Sky" Missing Something
The issue was inspired by the release of Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn's remarkable new book "Half the Sky." I can't praise "Half the Sky" enough -- it's readable and uplifting even as Kristof and WuDunn describe the routine violence faced by women and girls around the world. But the authors aren't especially interested in drawing parallels between the everyday abuses faced by women in the U.S., and that's a missed opportunity.
Imagine how much more powerful this would be to spread the word that we truly are in this together.
Click here for more.
Women vs. "The Man"
The book relays the story of an Indian policeman who monitors the border to ensure that no pirated DVDs cross, all the while turning a blind eye to the young girls being trafficked to brothels. The guard in the piece is bemused by Kristof's belief that women are worth more than DVDs.
The shocking devaluation of women by faceless, profitable corporations is not that uncommon here, either. Look, for instance, at what happens when a famous athlete like Kobe Bryant or Ben Roethlisberger is accused of rape. As soon as sports-league profits and fan loyalties are pitted against a woman's basic human dignity, a shocking number of fans start flinging abuse at the alleged rape victims, denying their pain, or suggesting they asked for it.
I'm not saying that being date-raped by some millionaire is as awful an experience as being locked inside a brothel, raped a dozen times a day and then dying of AIDS. But given how quickly we "enlightened" Westerners will deny a woman her basic dignity, we should resist the urge to treat those who do the same thing abroad as somehow fundamentally different.
Rape As a Weapon
The book cites how commonly rape is used as a weapon against women. The violation is as cultural as it is societal, because in many places, the community will shun a raped woman as "impure." In some cases, rape victims are even arrested or executed.
But this also happens in the U.S., albeit in a muted way. We don't pushed out of town to be eaten by animals or stoned to death, but many rape victims suddenly find themselves social pariahs, as if people think it's catching.
Comparing the experiences of abused women abroad and at home doesn't diminish the suffering of women brutalized by extreme misogyny. Instead, it helps us explain why pro-women organizations get less funding and journalists treat women's rights as a "soft" issue.
The less we tolerate misogyny at home, the stronger our case for promoting the rights of women around the world.
Amanda Marcotte is the author of "It's a Jungle Out There" and writes about politics daily at Pandagon.net.
Comments:
Add a comment
Friday 04 September
By earnestsigns
This is such a pity and yes, something needs to be done. In too many of these circumstances, these women and/or these families find themselves suffering economic hardships. A start would be trying to help out the economic situations of these poor. An avenue to help these women find suitable spouses would be adviseable too. Men should treat women with dignity and respect. The culture of "sex sales" also doesn't help but exasperates those finding themselves in this plight, along with drug addictions. Men can be taken advantage of too by women looking to exploit their bodies. Helping men and women find suitable matches for the intent of marriage could also help here. Dating internet sites I wouldn't consider to be wholly ideal. I always heard that if you wanted to find a spouse, you could find them in Church (or coordinated with a place of worship where the community shares like values). That's not always possible. If it's due to liability concerns, that should be made away by a type of binding form. But that doesn't mean that this should be the only contact with the establishment. Social services could be rendered to assist with any issues that arise. Funding for services is almost always contingent on what you put in to make it work and the issues being made aware of so that they can be addressed. I would defintely help.
Reply
Sunday 30 August
By Mary W.
I was married to an abusive man for over 20 years. He was physically, emotionally, financially and verbabally abusive. I was afraid to call the police. This was in 1980. I was afraid how I'd earn a living, etc. I finally got the courage to get a divorce when he started chasing a "friend" of mine. By then he'd driven me crazy. I did some crazy things, because my attorney told me since the abuse was not "documented" by a police report, I could not use it in a divorce. I wonder why Mary Winkler got to use undocumented abuse in a murder trial.
I think the judges who hear divorce cases should have to go to victim impact, to see a woman who stayed at home with her children for several years, no college degree, old work experience can suddently support herself, especially when she has Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. I struggle every day, while he goes on vacation and has season tickets to the Bears. I wear shoes that were my deceased mother's. They are at least a half-size too large, but my father gave them to me, because they were practically new, and he thought I could use them. I wore my father's old winter jacket for two years, and now I have no winter coat. I take medications for depression, hypertension, diabetes, which I skimp on, because I haven't had a job for a year and have a limited amount of assets. I can't get help because I'm under 65, not disabled and don't have children I support under the age of 18.
This man is an attorney. He was able to get the house and land we wouldn't have had without MY parents, residential custody of my children, which practically destroyed my relationships with my children, ruined my self-esteem, yet I'm supposed to go out and find a job in a very tough market that will meet my relatively low living expenses. I cashiered at a store where I was paid $7.60 and hour, and they wouldn't give me 40 hours, 36 one week, 32 the next, etc. Even working my tail off, I couldn't even begin to make ends meet. This man has no remorse, yet nobody wants to or can help. I know the men who abuse their spouses in this country is a much larger percentage than people think, because women are still stuck.
Reply
Sunday 30 August
By ruejy
I am so sorry to hear what you have been through. I know you are not here to seek empathy, but to express the horror that you have faced for so long. I also recently ended an abusive relationship with a dignitary in the military. The world DOES NOT care, especially if you don't have a name "meaning if you are not an affluent individual"....these abusers are also manipulators who will turn just about everyone against you. I know the road to recovery is long because I still do have a hard time coping, I do not date etc....I am still fairly young, yet I keep to myself because of all that I have been through. Don't give in, continue to be strong. As women we need to stop believing that it's our place to always take the abuse and battle with "forgiving" those who are undeserving...Lets stand up and realize that we've all been taught that it's ok and that's why we handle these things in secrecy like we do...I am so emotional about this, that I am beginning to babble, so I'll stop now...However, do remember that you are stronger than you sometimes feel and that strength will carry you through
Monday 31 August
By nyqbana
Wow ! Your words moved me as they explained something I've been trying to get out for years. The abuse is so complex that I become enraged at how easily one falls to it.
I immediately felt the need to ask you all to join me in a chat room. I too have been in an abusive relationship for over 20 yrs. I have come to terms that this will always be as long as I allow it. (i am woman hear me roar)
Reply
Monday 31 August
By dan
Yes, women need to get to the police, even if they are afraid. Hard if your husband is an attorney. Women with money need to help fund women's organisations. Younger women need to stop acting as if being pro-women is anathema - my daughters do that, so does my ex boyfriend - act if if I am a fanatic for thinking that half the world's population needs to be a priority for any social change,. Women must also stop buying into our sex culture - they really do, especially young girls. It is very sad that to be called "sexy" here is the greatest compliment, and only sex symbol women get the most media coverage, and even then it is negative viz Spears being pilloried for having a mother's body - instead of being celebrated! Every time a sex slave is discovered dead or alive in western countries, I wonder how many there are still out there, because of course we don't find every one. There are fine men out there, but they need to be more visible and active, instead of the pricks who are in the media and become the role models for so many young men.
Reply
Tuesday 01 September
By disguy
The problem is when women who aren't actually raped lie and say that they are. It makes other women who were raped less believable. I saw the story of a man who had served 17 years in prison for the rape of a woman. She had positively id'd the man as her attacker. He was cleared through dna 17 years later. My wife has been raped on four different occasions and knows who 3 of the attackers are but did not call the police because she did not want her dad to find out because how much it would destroy him, not that he'd be mad at her but he'd be so sad that it happened to his daughter, empathizing with her pain. He recently found out. My wife knows that now that she is with me she will never be harmed again, and if I ever see any of the people who raped her, I will confront them about what they have done and god's views on their actions.
Reply
Tuesday 08 September
By Dylan
All you ladies i sympathize to you. But you have to think about all the guys that you rejected and the decisions you took when you were young. And instead of marrying
a caring men you ended up with the abuser. I am pretty sure the red flags were up in the early stages of your relationships. So think about all the guys that pursued you and what might have been different if you chose the good guy may be not that handsome or athletic and careeristic instead of the asshole you lived with for 20+ years.
Reply
Wednesday 09 September
By alive_and_well
i, too, have been in a relationship with a man who was physically abusive to me. he also fathered my two small children. i think, it's extremely important for women in the same situation to STOP FEELING LIKE A VICTIM. it may seem that the power is his, but that's a lie. you are a strong, capable women, you deserve happiness, and no one has the right to put their hands on you, and in your heart, you know that. no one can continue to strip you of your self-esteem unless you allow them to. i absolutely know first hand that abusive men are conniving and manipulative and have a way of making you feel like somehow everything is your fault. but there comes a time when you have to wake up and realize that the abusive man in your life is nothing but a loser, a lost, insecure, child who is unable to communicate, who craves control because the reality is that he never felt he had any, and that is the reason why he gets off on hurting a person who he views as helpless and vulnerable. but once he stops viewing you as helpless and vulnerable, there will be nothing he can do to hurt you. YOU CAN STOP BEING A VICTIM: the power is yours, not his. trust me on this one ;)
Sunday 20 September
By Tom Boone
I was able to read most of an advance copy of this book before Bill Drayton (founder of Ashoka: Innovators for the Public) snatched it away and ran off with it on his annual 2-week hiking trip to the mountains. I think this has to be the most important book - not just for women’s rights globally but for human rights - published in my memory.
Kristof and WuDunn weave together a most compelling story of how culture and customs historically suppress women. They tackle many tough, taboo topics - for example honor killing. But more importantly, they champion the stories of heroic women worldwide wholly committed to changing the many evils of the status quo.
What is more, they posit a kind of general framework theory that the really important advances in human rights that are going to be made in the near future are going to be brought about by these entrepreneurial pioneering women. In essence, that the backbone of the human rights movement and of real change across all societies is going to be a direct function of brave women who give themselves permission to say “NO” to thousands of years of (to most Westerners) unimaginable oppressive cultural customs and who take it upon themselves to lead to a new way. Once you have read the book, it is very hard, if not impossible, to disagree with Kristof and WuDunn’s general theme. To wit, the brave women of Iran who took to the streets to protest the results of the recent election.
Among many other “super” women, HALF THE SKY spotlights the following inspirational Ashoka Fellows:
• Sunitha Krishnan (India), founder of Prajwala, a citizen sector organization in Hyderabad, India, fighting forced prostitution and sex trafficking, rescuing women and children from sexual exploitation, incestual rape, sexual torture, and abuse in prostitution. Her organization helps former prostitutes learn vocational skills so they can move into new careers. “Prajwala” means “an eternal flame”.
• Sakena Yacoobi (Afghanistan), founder of the Afghan Institute of Learning, a citizen sector organization providing teacher training to Afghan women, educating and fostering education for girls and boys, and providing health education to women and children. Her organization also runs fixed and mobile health clinics that provide family planning services. Sakena holds the distinction of having been Ashoka’s first Afghan Fellow. Educating women and girls was banned under the Taliban and is controversial under Islamic law.
• Roshaneh Zafar (Pakistan), founder of Pakistani microfinance lender, Kashf. A former World Bank employee, she was inspired after a chance meeting with Muhammad Yunus, founder of Grameen Bank. “Kashf” means “miracle” and Kashf is indeed fostering a miracle by leveraging microfinance to women to transform the role of women in Pakistani society and bringing about a poverty-free world. To date, Kashf supports 305,038 families in Pakistan, has disbursed $202 million, and has 52 branches nationwide.
I am not alone in my enthusiasm for this book! Last Tuesday, September 15, 2009, the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (“UNODC”) hosted a panel discussion and book signing with Mr. Kristof and Ms. WuDunn in the UN Trusteeship Council Chamber at UN Headquarters. All 550 seats in the Trusteeship Council Chamber were filled. UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon delivered opening remarks. Special recognition goes to Simone Monasebian and Anna Rosario Kennedy of the UNODC for putting together this behemoth of an event.
Five out of five stars. An absolute must read for anyone who cares about women’s rights or human rights. A genuine eye popper that moves so fast, tackles so much that has hitherto been taboo and unmovable, and interweaves the unbelievably positive stories of the very heroic women already leading and creating change in a tapestry that is glimpse of a brave and very different, humanitarian new world.
Once you pick this book up, you will not be able to put it down. And once you have read it, you will be moved to help bring about tomorrow. Absolute proof that the glass (or the sky) is half full. We just have to give ourselves permission to make change. Or as Gandhi said, “we must be the change we wish to see.”
BUY IT. READ IT. PASS IT AROUND.
-Tom Boone, Ashoka
Reply