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Wondering whether you'll be getting a lil' somethin' somethin' later today? Anything's possible, but your chances aren't so good if it happens to be Tuesday.

According to an NOP Research Group health survey, Tuesday is the day when people do it the least, perhaps because they're all tuckered out from loving Monday so much (seriously, the applied mathematicians at University of Vermont say so). And scientists say that sex hormones peak on Thursday mornings, making that the primo time to get primal.

We say, why limit yourself to celibacy on Tuesdays? Surely there are ways to avoid sex any day of the week! Of course, some people actually like to have sex (for any of 237 or so reasons), so we also included excuses to get it on each day ending with y. (You might want to go ahead and get these printed on those day-of-the-week panties.)

Sunday
Sex: We better do it now, since we start work tomorrow
No Sex: I've really got to clean up all these liquor bottles from last night.

Monday
Sex: My week's getting off to a really rough start. Speaking of getting off ...
No Sex: Ummmm ... it's Monday, so obviously I have to make toaster oven s'mores and paint my toenails, which is probably going to take up my whole night.

Find out how to get laid or not Tuesday through Saturday.

Tuesday
Sex: I heard people never have sex on Tuesdays, we should prove them wrong.
No Sex: I believe their findings are correct.

Wednesday
Sex: It's hump day, baby!
No Sex: Please, never say that again.

Thursday
Sex: Hey, my sex hormones are out of control.
No Sex: Didn't we just do it? It seems like we did.

Friday
Sex: That party was great, I had soooo many margaritas.
No Sex: You smell like my high-school art teacher. The one who got fired for being a drunk.

Saturday
Sex: You know, we've got nothing to do all day, and there's nobody around ...
No Sex: Oh, did I forget to tell you, I signed us up for a bird-watching tour of the wetlands. Ha. Ha.

Tell us! What lines do you use to get out of sex? Or when you want to get it on?

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