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In a gesture that was equal parts Van Gogh and Mike Tyson, a man in Missouri chomped off a dude's left earlobe over a woman.

It would be romantic, if it didn't suggest that Christopher Beal of Cape Girardeau was A) completely insane or B) possibly rabid. When the police showed up at the apartment complex, they saw Beal chasing his soon-to-be victim around the parking lot. (Which begs the question -- do cops keep a tape of the "Benny Hill" theme song in their cars for such occasions?)

Before the cops could catch Beal, he wrestled his rival to the ground and bit off part of his ear, which doctors were not able to reattach. Somebody should have told him that putting part of another man's face in your stomach isn't the way to a lady's heart.