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You probably give better advice than most paid advice columnists, right? Our friend "Charlie" has a question and we think you can help. Leave a comment with your advice.Charlie's quandary:
"So I've been seeing this girl for almost four months now, and things are going really well. She's about to leave the country indefinitely. She could be gone for three months or a year; there's no telling. She's given me the green light to date other girls while she's gone. She even jokes about helping me pick the girl out before she leaves -- she's not the jealous type.
"Well, a prospect has come up and I feel like I need to strike while the iron is hot. Can I begin seeing this other girl before she's even left yet? It will be another month before my girl leaves. She's sort of hinted that she prefers I wait till she's gone, but ...
"Should I just wait? Should I tell her and risk losing something that's going so well? Would she understand or think I'm a jerk? Dating season is coming to a close just around the time she's leaving, and I don't want to get left in the cold."
About our Charity Case: Charlie works in design, lives in Brooklyn and likes bikes and art. "Well, a prospect has come up and I feel like I need to strike while the iron is hot. Can I begin seeing this other girl before she's even left yet? It will be another month before my girl leaves. She's sort of hinted that she prefers I wait till she's gone, but ...
"Should I just wait? Should I tell her and risk losing something that's going so well? Would she understand or think I'm a jerk? Dating season is coming to a close just around the time she's leaving, and I don't want to get left in the cold."
Got a question? Need some girl advice? Contact us at julie@lemondrop.com and we'll make sure you get the help you want!
Comments:
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Wednesday 19 August
By Julie
Where is Brooklyn does this jerk live? I want to make sure I avoid that area.
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Wednesday 19 August
By Julie
Opps! Where IN* Brooklyn, I meant.
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Wednesday 19 August
By Catherine
If you want to pursue a relationship with your current girlfriend after she comes back, if she does, then I would wait the month. Even if she isn't "the jealous type", she has made it clear that she wants you to wait until she leaves to start dating others. She's given you the go-ahead, which is more than most women would do, so respect her wishes.
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Wednesday 19 August
By CJ
You seem to be very open with the girl you're seeing. Why don't you ask her? I mean, you're not saying you'd do it behind her back without telling her are you? Cuz that would be muy wrong and make you an enemy of all women.
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Wednesday 19 August
By Jason N
Well being a man who was dating a exchange student I feel ya. After she left to go back to Germany I was in the dumps for a month and then I met someone and it was great for a while and two years later little hottie German exchange student show up at my door. (We had been writing letters back and fourth to each other not love letters but just letters)
I was not dating anyone at the time but she asked me how long were you really depressed about me leaving. I said a month and then I started to see someone else but it didn't work so I just took a break all together.
Dude she gave you the green light, your young and happy and you should date someone else. Juile, stop being so damn bitter.
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Wednesday 19 August
By coco
"Dating season"? I hope you're looking for girls inside an oven with the pilot light blown out.
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Wednesday 19 August
By olivia
only a jerk would know that he only had a month before his girl left .... and he was already looking for someone else!!! permission or not!!!
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Thursday 20 August
By Ally
Most long distance relationships fail, so really what you should do is let the girl who is leaving know that you don't want a long distance thing and you guys should just end it there. And then you are free to pursue a relationship with another person. Just be honest about it.
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Thursday 20 August
By Julie
Jason, I'm not in the least bit bitter. I have no reason to be, considering I've dated two guys at once without anyone's "permission" in the past, and am now in a happy long term committed relationship.
But really, if you're going to be a jerk, you should keep quiet about it. I don't think many girls would want to date a guy who couldn't even wait for his current relationship to end before starting a new one. Except maybe Angelina Jolie.
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Thursday 20 August
By ToddD
Interesting article, good point
ToddDiroberto
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Friday 21 August
By MRSCOYOTE06
I always say they did not leave each other because they are good people. I wonder what they did to each other for any real person even thinks about coming to such a davastating situation in their lives. My opinion is that every relationship starts the same way and fades the same so to me it would be so tiring to go through the bullshit that comes with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Friday 21 August
By Jack
Sounds like you flunked the test. You did not mention if she would be dating others... think about it, ask the right questions, figure out if you want long term or want to end the current.
If you can jump this quick end it quick
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Friday 21 August
By Juan
Hey,
The Charlie guy is a TV character.
However who are the 2 babes in the picture?
Personally, I ' m old fashioned. The idea of presenting promiscuous behavior on TV isplain wrong. Its entertaining. Therefore he should do as he did in the beginning: a babe for every night. He just has to remember the names.
Juan
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Saturday 22 August
By mim
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME...........
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Saturday 22 August
By Jo
Charlie, if you are comfortable enough to refer to this woman as Your Girl, then you should stop to think, what would life be without her? I think you should talk to her about her decision on dating others while she is gone. All woman have the jealousy issue..........she is just trying to make you happy........Maybe she wants you to tell her something..............Follow your Heart.........
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Tuesday 25 August
By jackie
Jo I don't know if you are a woman or a man but Bless you for that comment as you are right on the mark!
Sunday 23 August
By majajbii
Friend, show some class; wait till your girlfriend takes her leave of you before you start up with someone else. Even better, spend a little time alone for a while; solitude can help you understand yourself better, which will help you avoid doing something dumb when you do start dating again. And frankly, I don't understand what you mean when you talk about "dating season." This isn't duck hunting we're talking about. The time to date is when you meet someone whose company you enjoy and whom you want to get to know better. But don't burn your bridges with your current lady; you never know but that she may return and want to take up where the two of you left off.
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Sunday 23 August
By Deborah
Charlie, take a break and figure out what u want!! That is the problem with people they feel this need to be with someone else. I like myself and enjoy my own company and of course friends of both sexes. I enjoy just having fun!!
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Sunday 23 August
By i love you
If another opportunity has come up it seems like you were already looking long before. And that says a lot, to me it means you have the want to date other people so you shouldn't be in a serious relationship; but also by you saying she gave you the green light to date while she is gone sounds like you want to continue the relationship when she returns . So do you really like this girl that much? Or is it conveinent and fun ?
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Sunday 23 August
By matt
still think your bitter julie. some latent opinions i think. i'm with majajbii, charlie. wait. see it through and don't look for anyone specific when she leaves. the alone time will do you good. the best relationships are the ones you fall into, not the ones you chase! so just keep an open eye. now if your "new" chick happened to pop up after your girl left, then i would say run with it. that is not the case though. are you willing to chance a possible future with your girl over something that "looks" like it could work?
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