Guest blogger Allison Castillo -- a stand-up comic and connoisseur of younger men -- speaks out against the term
Courtney Cox regards herself in the mirror. "What the hell is that?" she asks, poking a perfectly cut arm. "It's like a farm animal!" Which is baffling, considering she is ridiculously thin, and gazelles do not live on farms.
So begins the actual trailer for her new show, "Cougar Town
." And thanks to Cox's portrayal of a woman so clueless that her plan to "bag a young stud" (their words) involves flashing her underwear at a boy on a bike, I can't fathom anyone wanting to move there.
I've always hated the term cougar
and would like to vote it off the island of Manhattan -- and everywhere else for that matter. Click here
to keep reading...
When I was young, I was interested in guys my own age, and then something unexpected happened. I got older. And then one day I woke up and everyone was part of a couple (just like our parents!), and guys thought I was 10 years younger than I was, and (excuse me for not wanting to never have sex again) I started dating younger men. No crazy plot twists. No Cougar Union dues. Just life.Why 'Cougar'? Why Not 'Sea Lion'?
What really bothers me about the name is the judgment inherent in it. It makes me think of a giant cat making her way stealthily down a hill and pouncing on a bunny. I can't help it. I think of a white, pink-eyed bunny, chewing grass, totally oblivious that it's about to get a $20-dollar scotch bought for it by a well-manicured paw.
In reality, younger men are anything but helpless, and in my experience, seek out older women. So why can't women just enjoy it? Why the creepy portrayal on TV? Why in Cosmo did someone recently go so far as to pit The Cougar (40s) against the newly minted Puma (30s), declaring the Puma more fun because she isn't needy like the Cougar, she's just dating younger men to have a good time? Do women really need another way to crap on each other?The Double Cougar Standard
Where is the hilarious TV show about men who date women younger than their daughters? Men who have been blithely skipping around, committing to no one because the world tells them that it's their oyster, until they suddenly decide they want to date women half their age? Do we move these men into a town named Viagra Balls? No, we nominate them for Oscars for writing "Match Point."
The women I know in New York who date younger men are smart, funny, attractive and adventurous. And far from being needy and clueless, they see the obvious advantages. They have dated men of all ages and concluded that, for the most part, they all suck equally. So. If I have the choice to date a 45-year-old guy who sucks or
a 25-year-old guy who sucks, but can have sex more than once a night and several times in the morning, I'll opt for the latter, thanks.Allison Castillo is a stand-up comic and author of the dating book, "The Score: The Ultimate Quiz to Test Who He Is." She lives in Chelsea, N.Y., among the men who truly love her.