Sex in films is a tricky subject to take on. Gone are the days of stock footage showing fireworks and trains entering tunnels, so the task at hand now is to present two people who look like they're doing it without making everyone in the audience cringe, blush or incredibly confused. Sometimes that just doesn't happen. Here are some examples of onscreen romance gone horribly wrong.

"Howard the Duck"
Are we crazy or did Lea Thompson just hint at the fact that she's about to commit bestiality? Just because a duck can talk doesn't mean it's okay to boink him.

"Last Tango in Paris"
If there's anything in the world that could make us not love butter it has to be this.
"Gigli"
"Gobble, gobble ... it's turkey time." Unless you're talking about Thanksgiving dinner, it's probably not OK ever to say these words out loud. Especially in reference to your crotch.
"In The Cut"
There might actually not be anything worse than staring at Mark Ruffalo staring at a Meg Ryan with freshly collagened lips laying on her stomach and rubbing one out. Crikey!

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for more awesomely awkward sex scenes after the jump.


"Ace Ventura: Pet Detective"
OK. This was only awkward because we all had to watch it with our parents.
"Superbad"
The cringing starts when Michael Cera locks himself in a bathroom to chug a bottle of booze to even out the scales, escalates when the girl drunkenly offers him a "blow jay," and doesn't end until she, thankfully, barfs all over the place.
"Wild Things"
To quote a friend, "Umm, seeing Kevin Bacon's peen in 'Wild Things' was uncomfortable for anyone with any modicum of sexuality coursing through their veins." It's true. Unless it's half-invisible like it was in Hollow Man so you can kind of laugh at it, it really has no place in the public eye.
"Bad Santa"
This is sort of a personal thing -- we're just saying, if you want to feel awkward why don't you watch this movie with your boyfriend's parents? Because there's nothing more uncomfortable than sitting next to your BF's dad while Billy Bob Thornton delivers vigorous butthole "pleasures" to a morbidly obese woman. You will wish you could turn into a puddle and disappear forever.
"The Name of the Rose"
While it was probably awesome to us back in 1986, now it just feels like we're looking at the naked body of a 16-year old Christian Slater, which should be considered child pornography, right? We can't decide what adds the most awkwardness to this particular scene -- is it the shaved bald spot on top of Slater's head (he is, after all, a fornicating monk), that the girl he's doing can barely speak, or the fact that she's got a bag with an ox's heart in it right next to the bed. AGH!


"Showgirls"
There are a lot of reasons why this is considered one of the worst movies ever made -- one of them has to be watching Jessie Spano perform a sex scene that has been likened to "the first 10 minutes of 'Jaws.'"