Lemondrop

Since I'm unemployed, I have a lot of time to be angry about stuff. And I've decided that, among the many causes I've taken up, getting rid of some horrible clichés is my latest passion project.

There are some phrases in the American/English lexicon that give me a physical reaction. I feel a hot rush and have to fight the urge to punch the person saying it. These phrases show a complete lack of thought or originality; they are overused and misused. If you use them, I'd like to encourage you to rethink your choice of words and phrases in the future.

Hate: Cheers!
Unless you are from England, making a toast with an actual cocktail in your hand, or talking about the hit TV show, you should not use the word "Cheers." It is not how an American ends an email or a conversation on the phone. It is a lame attempt to sound like you've been somewhere outside of the United States. The same goes for "Ciao."

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Hate: Dude
Sadly, I use "dude" all the time. I say "dude" a hundred times a day. My only defense is that I grew up on the beaches of San Diego, but it's not an excuse. "Dude" is lame and I want to punch myself every time I say it.

Hate: Literally
So many people use the word "literally" when they are not being literal. I think this is an attempt to sound educated or something. I don't really know, but if you say something like, "I'm literally going to kill him!" You better "literally" have a knife in your hands.

Hate: LOL
I know, I know ... it's the easiest way to express in a status update, instant message, or email that you find something humorous but people forget what it means. LOL means that you are laughing out loud. Unless you are actually LAUGHING OUT LOUD you have no business typing LOL. You can't use LOL just because something amuses you, you have to be "literally" laughing out loud.

Hate: I'm like ... I'm all ... like ...
I wish I weren't so guilty of using these phrases, but I am. When recounting a conversation I've had with someone I'm all "I'm all." When I hear it coming out of my mouth I cringe. It's complete and utterly embarrassing ... instead of saying, "I said blah blah blah, and then she said blah blah blah," we resort to "I'm all ... and then she's all ... " It sounds horrible.

Hate: It's all good.
People who use this phrase are afraid of intimacy. Rather than getting to the heart of the actual matter, they gloss over bumps in the road with phrases like "it's all good." It's a way of avoiding further conversation and human interaction. It's a conversation ender. It's also far more meaningful to say something like, "That's OK, I forgive you." "It's all good" is a way to avoid actually dealing with the real issue at hand.

Hate: My bad
Saying "My bad" is a way of avoiding admitting that you actually may have made a mistake or been mistaken. It's a way of taking blame without actually being accountable for your actions. Most of all, it's lazy. If you have made a mistake or been mistaken, it is far more meaningful to say, "I am so sorry, I made a mistake. How can we fix the situation to avoid this kind of thing from happening in the future?" When you hear someone say "My bad" you are completely justified in punching them in the face.

So let's hear it! What do you hate hearing? I'm literally dying to hear your most hated phrases and words! It's all good! Peace out.

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