The Adorable Puppy -- Michael CeraSure, he's sarcastic, and shy, and awkward -- sort of like an adorable shaggy dog that you just want to cuddle and love forever. But who knows what evil lurks beneath that bumbling veneer? How long will it continue to be cute? And how can we ever forgive him for "Year One"?
The "Funny" Guy -- Dane CookIn 1972, a team of elite scientists created a Frankenstein monster from all the worst parts of fraternity culture. Years later, their abomination grew to international fame by telling jokes about slapping women in the face with peanut butter. Guard your drinks when this guy's in the room.
The Stoner Philosopher -- Seth RogenOpen-minded gals are crazy for this slightly chubby, bearded, brainy Jewish heartthrob. But think about what life would really be like with this stoner hero when he's sprawled out on the couch in his underwear, selling your CDs to buy weed and ruminating about how the female orgasm is a myth. When he tells you you're too good for him, he's right.
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The Surfer Broheim -- Jack JohnsonSo mellow that he's nearly comatose, Jack Johnson is the wave-catching, guitar-strumming, tan god from Hawaii that even your college boyfriend secretly wanted to bone. But surfboard quickly becomes surf-bored. And do you really want to date a guy whose idea of a good time is "Bubble Toes"?
The Nerdy Perv -- Zach BraffBraff made a romantic comedy in which he cast himself as Natalie Portman's love interest, despite the fact that he's an unappealing dork with elephant ears. Since then he's gained a reputation for smacking women's asses in public and riding very tiny motorscooters. Girls, you don't want no "Scrubs."
The Tortured Artist -- Brandon FlowersInfatuated with this guyliner-wearing Mormon rock star? Think again. Any man whose idea of deep philosophical insight can be summed up by the distinction between "human" and "dancer" deserves to be eternally single. Keep your hands out of his magic underwear.
The Pretty Boy -- Robert PattinsonWe have nothing against vampires, or the British, but seriously -- this dude is just too damn pretty to be straight. Despite the jury being out on this pressing issue, we'd advise all heterosexual women to simply accept the inevitable.
The Outdoorsy Guy -- Todd Palin For one dangerous second we were worried that this snow-machine-loving Alaskan was set to become First Dude. That's all over now, but we still advise you to stay away from Mr. Palin if he ever divorces the Barracuda. Stick with one of the guys from "Deadliest Catch" instead.
The Club Clown -- MobyThis bald, vegan, bespectacled techno star is a true talent -- plus he hangs out with David Lynch and occasionally snorts meth with Midwestern thugs, which is pretty badass. But the man who gave us "Play" is also a real player who seems allergic to monogamy. Our advice? Stick to his music, skip the broken heart.
The Total D-Bag -- Chris Brown No explanation necessary.
(All photos: Getty Images)












Comments:
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Thursday 27 August
By cleandallas.com
looks like women should only date.. women
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Tuesday 15 September
By J.
Ladies: it's true. There is nobody left. We all need to accept the fact that men are all pigs, horny pigs at that. We have to join forces and create a new world. Ellen Degeneres can be the leader. I'm not convinced that penetration is required for sexual fulfillment. And with sperm banks, quite frankly, men have become obsolete. As Castro says in the begining of "Scarface": "We don't want them! We don't need them". Okay, well maybe we still want them a little, but I think with the right amount of lesbian conditioning, we can grow out of it. It's time for Ellen to show us the wat.
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Friday 06 November
By petar pajevic
DATE COURAGE WOLF. ALWAYS MENSTRUATE.
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Wednesday 25 November
By Jessica
bahahahahahahah robpat.
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Wednesday 24 February
By john
gee thanks, that was such a helpful article... well hopefully you 12 year olds learned something.
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Friday 28 May
By Jessie
This is a great list. Well...a great list of no-good guys. But I'm starting to wonder about a certain guy's comedy show that airs on Comedy Central. Ever heard of Tosh.O? My boyfriend and I enjoy watching his shows, but lately, the more I listen to him, the more he just seems to be constantly downgrading women. I mean, on some of his "web redemption" movies he is flirting with and encouraging young, underage women to have sex. He just seems to have a very anti-women view, maybe his heart's been broken a few too many times but he's very hostile towards women to the point that I think he's secretly gay. It's getting so annoying that I'm not finding any of his other stuff very humorous.
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