Beware a scorned woman. Or in this case, three scorned women.

So goes this classic tale: Married dude courts three ladies. Ladies find out. Ladies lure dude into hotel room with promise of massage. Once inside, ladies glue dude's private parts with Krazy Glue. (Inspired by that old Sean Young-James Woods urban legend, perhaps?)

Krazy indeed! The three women, who intricately planned the hotel beatdown, also physically attacked the three-timer and demanded to know which woman he loved most. They finally relented and took off after the guy started screaming for help -- but only after taking off with his cell phone, wallet and car. Whoa.

To end this story on a somewhat-cheerful note (depending on your sympathies), the dude and his penis suffered minor injuries, but are recovering steadily. Personally, we're also feeling way better, mostly because the worst thing we've ever done to an ex is tell his friends he cries after sex.

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