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Want to learn the secret to knowing if a dude is into you? According to YourTango, a simple, mutual glance is all you need. If the eye contact continues throughout the night, odds are he's wishing it was more than just your pupils that were locking.We've all been there. One minute we're getting busted staring at a random boy at the bar, two hours later we're making out, and soon he's our boyfriend.
But of course there are other attractive forces at work. We asked some of our girlfriends what attracts them to a dude for the first time.
Click here to read their responses after the jump.
It's all in the clothing
"It might sound superficial, but I tend to be attracted to guys with a similar disheveled yet put together style," said Megan, 22. "It's not that I wouldn't give someone who dressed a little differently a chance, but if he's dressed to my liking, odds are I'd be a lot less likely to turn him away. And, if we started dating, I could check clothing makeover off my list of things I hoped to change in him!"
Scents of attraction
"Eye contact may initially cause me to swoon, but if he smells great, I end up falling head over heels," said Kristina, 25. "If a guy who I hit it off with smells nice, you can probably find me following him around for the rest of the night just to get a whiff!"
Something called personality
"A few weeks ago I noticed that this guy kept looking at me while I was out with my friends," said Melissa, 23. "On the looks scale I'd have to say he was average, not someone who would normally catch my eye, but we eventually struck up a conversation and actually hit it off. So I would have to say when it comes to being attracted to someone else, for me it's not always a physical thing because looks can definitely be deceiving."
Four eyes
"I've got a thing for men in glasses," said Sara, 22. "I'm one of those girls who find 'nerdy' a major turn-on. Glasses give a dude a more sexy, sophisticated and intelligent look even if there's really nothing between their ears!"
So tell us: What's the first thing you find attractive in the opposite sex? What's the least important thing?
Comments:
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Sunday 09 August
By Mike
What a typical girly-girl article. Here's the true dope: Most women have NO IDEA what will really "attracts" them to a guy ahead of time. Sure, they have an idea of what they HOPE to see when they are out meeting men, but in the end, if a woman gives a man the opportunity (engages him in anyway for more than 5 minutes) he can pull her... regardless of his hair, his cologne, his clothes... if he reads her right and has a little skill and confidence. And he doesn't know ahead of time what it will take, either. But he has his ploys, and he will go through them one at a time until he gets a reaction, or until he runs out and strikes out, or until she cuts him off and moves on. Ladies, give a man 5 minutes, and he has the skills, and wants to pull you, you WILL be interested. Don't believe me? Think about this, then: How often have you ever heard a man say, "Oh, gosh, I NEVER thought I would be interested in her, but..." and then think, how often have you heard a woman say, "He's totally not my type, but I'm really starting to like him..." or "I NEVER thought I would go for a guy like him, but..." See what I mean?
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Sunday 09 August
By PCL
I think the sexiest thing about a man, would be that he's not afraid
to be a man, a masculine man. I'm not talking about a muscle-bound
man, I'm talking about a man who knows who he is, is comfortable in
his own skin, and will take charge (come on, I'm not the only woman
who likes a man who will do that)--and it is rather nice if he is
clean and wears a wee bit of cologne.
But part of being that type of masculine man, is accepting and
appreciating a woman who is equally feminine--who also knows who she
is, is comfortable in her own skin, and will let a man take charge,
but knows that she's really the one in charge.
Sunday 09 August
By lcp57crl
I think the sexiest thing about a man, would be that he's not afraid
to be a man, a masculine man. I'm not talking about a muscle-bound
man, I'm talking about a man who knows who he is, is comfortable in
his own skin, and will take charge (come on, I'm not the only woman
who likes a man who will do that)--and it is rather nice if he is
clean and wears a wee bit of cologne.
But part of being that type of masculine man, is accepting and
appreciating a woman who is equally feminine--who also knows who she
is, is comfortable in her own skin, and will let a man take charge,
but knows that she's really the one in charge.
Sunday 09 August
By Dave
I agree I was in a relationship for 13 years had 2 wonderful children with this woman. I gave her everything. Went to work every day every Friday she got my pey check on her birthday or valentines day she got a new dimond ring the only thing I asked of her was to be a stay at home mom with the kids while I worked and to keep me satisfied sexually then when I was at work I got a phone call saying my father passed away that is when I found out she was cheating on me. It's been 13 years and I can honestly say I have not been with another woman cause I lost all trust in women. So it goes to show the good guys just about finish last
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Tuesday 11 August
By anonymous
the first things i notice about men are their eyes, and teeth.
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Sunday 09 August
By Unknown One
I can't help but laugh at alot of these comments.
Just know that different people find different things attractive and not everyone likes the same things.
Rob...I'm sorry your so narrow sighted but I'm sure one day you'll grow out of it...good luck.
Ren...everyone's different, and I'm glad to see some women do care soley on looks...it makes things more even.
Kitty...Kudos, enough said.
Dan...when it comes to personal things that make us...well...us...then yeah, F that. No one will take away from who I am.
Paul...Your right to some extent, but yeh, everyone's different. Some women can't admit thats what they want...and no women wants a panzy. Sometimes nice = panzy.
Jesse...Agreed 100%. Basic Instincts.
Man...whoever you are...Its not bs man. It's true wealth can alter that, but it doesn't mean if your poor you won't find a beautiful wife.
As for you religious people...I don't want to go there here. That's a different topic.
Mike...Spoken wisely, but a dude's game and this article is one in the same...Certain glances...grooming...being smart and witty...It's basically the same told through different eyes. Sure confidence wasn't thrown in there, but that is part of the underlying truth.
Let me put it this way...guys see things one way...girls see things another. From each point of view the other's wrong, but the truth is, both sides talk about the same underlying criteria...just said in a different way since its from a different point of view.
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Sunday 09 August
By Bobbb
Oh, please.
Women, what do men look at when they talk to you? Boobs, number 1.
After that its gentlemens choice, me I have to have a face that I can look at in the morning. Then I want a women who is so attractive overall and with a happy, nonargumentative attitude that I will not let her take the trash out.
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Sunday 09 August
By PCL
I think the sexiest thing about a man, would be that he's not afraid to be a man, a masculine man. I'm not talking about a muscle-bound man, I'm talking about a man who knows who he is, is comfortable in his own skin, and will take charge (come on, I'm not the only woman who likes a man who will do that)--and it is rather nice if he is clean and wears a wee bit of cologne.
But part of being that type of masculine man, is accepting and appreciating a woman who is equally feminine--who also knows who she is, is comfortable in her own skin, and will let a man take charge, but knows that she's really the one in charge.
Reply
Sunday 09 August
By mimi
God first and the rest will come. We were given gifts. It is up to us how we use them. He loves us so that we can love others.Always have standards for yourself and stick to them. Make them reasonalbe and adtainable. Every thing has a season and you know when that season us over. By happy and love yourself. The right one will find you. The way you present youself is the type of attraction you will receive. If is doesn't feel right it problely isn,t Respect youself and others. You get what you give; and you have to give,take and try to understand. its time for change!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sunday 09 August
By DAVE
I dont care what the hell woman say they like or want because in all reality most do not have a clue. once they get what they want they all of the sudden dont want it anymore. the truth is the only thing woman respect and adore is a man who wont take their crap and a man who is ready to walk away the second she gets out of line. a man like that is what seperates him from the rest of the despirate men who kiss thier a$$. and all you woman know im right.
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Sunday 09 August
By Perry
Greeting people;
These kinds subjects and comments always entertain me, so many people trying to find their way in the world, sharing ideas and feed back to help them survive todays lifestyles.
Ladies here are some hints from an Alpha male. Real men will make eye contact, they will give you a solid once over, a quick smile or raise of the eyebrows type acknowledgement, then they will move off, not because they were not interested, but to circle their subject get a different veiw of them see how they act within their social group and to see if the the subject of their interest, somehow maintains their interest from a distance. This is called hunting, part of mans character.
An Alpha male will dress fairly well, with enough fashion sense to catch the eye, but he will usually have his own distinct way of carrying it off without being over the top or flamboyant. He will use scents (colognes / deoderants) to enhance his own.
An Alpha male will have a job and most likely a career, because his personal pride won't let him have less. He may or may not be well off but that could be that he is working his way up and is doing the best he can with what he has, but he will definetly have plans and ambitions for more.
You won't have to change an Alpha male, because if you get into a relationship with one, you will both start to adapt to each other, respecting each others whims, intellect, dreams and the will to grow together not seperately.
An Alpha male will be able to talk about, current events, as well as his interests that are more manly like sports or adventures without being singularily focused on only one thing, he will have strong friendships with other males, he will not try to lead them by physical power and aggression this doesn't make true friends. But when he speaks they will pay attention to what he says, because of respect.
An Alpha male will know about romance, but it will be the subtle things he does that are your best clues. He will give you a flower for no reason, will notice what you wear, will touch you anytime just to show interest still on going, whether it is holding hands or brushing hair from your eyes. Then there are the more physical caress's that speak of familiarity and longing to be together. He will be able to go clothes shopping with you, because of his interest in how his chosen mate looks.
This is just the tip of what really makes up an Alpha male, he still is the hunter gatherer of the world, it is the base character of all Alpha males, but in todays society he has had to adapt to compete and survive in a much more disposible, high tech, instant gratification world.
These are also some of the reasons why there are so few Alpha males available because when a woman actually finds one, she holds on to him for all she is worth.
I wiil close this for now and start a second comment giving you a vision of how an Alpha male hunts from my perspective, with abit about me at the end.
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Sunday 09 August
By PCL
Very nice, Perry. And any 'alpha' female would give you a run for your money. But, she would, in the end, respect your status (married)--and that, is from an 'alpha' female whose 'game' is parallel to that of yours (as is her age).
Sunday 09 August
By Perry
Greetings People;
Follow me through the eyes of an Alpha male as he goes out for a night to hunt and prowl for a mate.
Before I even start I will already have decided on where I will hunt this night, I will also have a back up location in mind if my options are limited at the first choice.
My first priority of business is having a shower, using products I like the smell of and I think will enhance my own natural smell. Then I will probably shave, but that depends a bit on if I am going to a more dressy or more casual type of place. I will use a deodourant and a cologne that matches well with my body chemistry, is not over powering, yet will be noticable as I move through a crowd. Then I will get dressed, something fashionable with out being overly trendy, I will offset / enhance this with select items that add a personal touch to my style, and catch the eye of the prey. This may be rings, chains, belts, watches etc depending on what I have to chose from that work with this look I am creating for the night. When I am finished my preperations I will take a final look in the mirror and know I am satisfied and ready to prowl.
Then I will call a cab or drive to my chosen haunt for the night, depending on my drinking or not at this place. You see I spend many nights out having no more than one drink containing alcohol.
Now for how I enter a place I never park right at the door or step out of a cab at the entrance, I want to walk up slowly, and observe whats going on outside, to be sure what I am stepping into in preperation for the evening. I always acknowledge the doorman and staff as I enter, These are usually the paid monsters that wish they were truly Alpha males but have miss understood that brute strength and aggression are a very small part of being a male, then I acknowledge their handler the superviser or manager that is usually standing farther back watching that dogs are behaving and letting in the right mixture of people. Now I pay the cover charge, and hang up my coat, I always tip these people, and be friendly to them.
Now I enter the hunting grounds and the real game begins. As I enter I pause to scope out the over all layout and who are the people in my immediate vicinty, get the lay of the land so to speak, this only takes a few seconds and then I chose a my direction usually towards the main bar, in the subterfuge of getting a drink, as I make my way through the crowd I move slow but steady with my eyes taking in as much as they can. I Step up to the bar and order my drink of choice for the night, I will usually try to do this near the waitress station but not at it. I usually then engage the bartender by asking if they have my brand of whiskey, then have them make me a drink my way which again is not a total standard, but not a pain in the ass for the bartender to make. Several things are accomplished by my doing this. First I spend enough time talking to the bartender that they remember me, I can check out the waitresses and see if any are paying attention. I also now have time while I am waiting for my drink to see who is standing around the bar area. I always tip well because the bartender will remember your face and that you tip, they are now on your side which is always good. I then step away from the the bar and circle the room slowly as if I am looking for a place to stand and enjoy my drink, I observe as i walk, everything from how congested an area is, best viewing points for the dance floor, where the washrooms are, where is the DJ or band located in relationship to the whole club. When i have completely layed out the club to my satisfaction I return to the bar for a refill from the same bartender if possible and the make another round of the club, but in reverse, this time only pausing at a few specific points that I picked out on the first round. After my walk about is complete. I go stand, never sit in the area I have chosen as the best game trails through the club usually this will be influenced by where the women wil move through the crowd, to or from the washroom, bar or dance floor. I will pick a spot where they will have to walk past in front of me but also a place where I can easily see a mirror or reflective surface that allows me to see what is approaching from behind me. By this time I have done many things, I know where most of the hunters are stationed,and their threat levels to my hunt. I have made 2 rounds by myself establishing that I am alone and looking, giving all the ladies a chance to size me up and the other hunters to realize I am there.
Well that is the typical set up for my nights out at a club. From this point it is all human interaction playing off, the eye contact, walkbyes and banter of the evening. I always stand, always engage and acknowledge all contacts, because you never know when that spark will ignite the evening. the staff will always serve you well if you tip and not even mind if you are only drinking coke if they get their tip and respect from you. They also know whos single and looking in most cases and will often put in a good word for you, usual very casual like " see that guy over there he's pretty nice" tahts just a ace in your favor.
Well this is where I will leave this off because I no longer actively go out to complete the hunt anymore, but I do still engage the same practices, but now for different reasons, but the habits of a lifetime are hard to break. Now I just make friends and let the ladies know that I am happily married and have been with the same lady for 27 years. The methods still are the same and it always brings a smile to my heart that at 51 i still turn heads, even if they are many years my junior, I still make other hunters uncomfortable, because I am still competion in their eyes. My wife knows that I still walk the walk and if she is not with me physically she is always with me in my heart, she always laughs and tells me about the women who say they wish they had what she has, and if I ever was single they would be first in line. I often have to deal with the husbands and boyfiends of women who know my wife and I, because they get to hear about the "He brought her flowers for no reason again today's" and the "do you see that dress he helped her pick out" and "did you see the picture from that weekend he just took her on so they could be together" I just laugh at those guys and I say so do it just be the "Man" and do what needs to be done.
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Sunday 09 August
By richardcheese
This is all really interesting and all, I guess men should start getting as concerned about their appearance as women and then we can start experiencing the joys of eating disorders and everything that comes with that state of mind. I think this is really a moot study as you can talk to 10 different women and get 10 different answers or 100 different women and get 100 different answers. Some women like dicks that treat them like shit, some women like feminine little hipsters, some women need to be taken care of, some are voraciously independent. I think we should stop viewing conquest as our definition of success and be okay with what we have. Somebody somewhere is attracted to it. Its always been a process of trial and error in humans as few of us start out conscious enough to really know what we want anyway.
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Sunday 09 August
By MoonOmelet
I like men with teeth and hair, even if it's receding. I don't care if they are unemployed or work in Target. Men are attractive when they bathe, and when they DON'T say they were born a female, and when they DON'T say they have a sexually transmitted infection, or when they don't neglect to tell me they do and then try to get laid. I do not like men who do drugs, or say they are straight when they are really bisexual. Just be honest, people.
Men who are least attractive? Those who see women simply as semen dumpsters or baby machines, and those who refuse to perform oral sex. Hey, if I do it for him, he should reciprocate.
If a man actually has a decent personality, that's a great one; if he wants a wife, that's a keeper. Not all women are hard to please.
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Monday 17 August
By b
All these men talking about how shallow we are, what about them? They want us to work so we don't need their money, do all the cooking, cleaning, stay fit, baby them, keep them satisfied sexually, do all the laundry...etc.
They want to go to work, come home, sit on the couch, be served like kings, then go to bed....
Someone please tell me how we are shallow for our preferences when it seems more and more like they are no longer needed. They just add more work to our lives
I am not a man hater, just saying that if we have preferences we deserve to!
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Monday 07 September
By Marizpan
Usually, the first thing that hits me is the way he presents himself. If he seems very confident right off the bat, that is attractive. If he is shy but confident when near those he knows, it's charming. If he is completely shy, it makes you curious.
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Wednesday 30 September
By Kate J
Obviously I would want intelligence + some brand of physical appeal, but honestly, one attribute that I will never settle on is: The guy MUST be taller than me. I am 5'4", so I don't feel like that is too demanding!
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Friday 29 January
By girl.
"Oh this is bullsh*t. Women these days are shallow c*unts. They expect a guy to look like a GQ model and ditch him if he doesn't spend all his money on her."
-robtheblogger6
To robtheblogger6,
Welcome to the world of the female, where NOT looking like a model won't even land you a first date. Men are the most SHALLOW creatures on this planet and its scientifically proven (the most developed part of the male brain deals with the visual-surprise, surprise). Women would most prefer respect over looks (again, tested), including a respectable looking man. If you cant look decent for your date, its shows a lack of care for yourself=unattractive.
i hope it doesn't get lonely sitting at home by yourself.
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Monday 05 April
By Erin
My boyfriend is one of those guys that are attractive but most girls wouldnt give a second glance to. he is tall, dorky, loud and obnoxious. But there is a side to him no one else sees. when we first started talking we were just two people getting to know each other. i didnt find him overly attractive. he wasnt bad looking, but not the greatest either. i never thought anything of him. but we talked for a while and he was sweet, charming and funny. and even though he is loud and obnoxious, its oddly part of his charm. he gets you laughing and smiling and thats one of the many things i love about him. and because of that, i found him more attractive each day. it helped that once we finally started meeting up more seriously, he wore glasses and had this preppy yet rugged kind of look to him and smelled really good =] so yea, many things paly into it
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