48 Comments   

gps cyber stalkingLisa G. from Minnesota didn't think much of a seemingly harmless man she sometimes saw out. In fact, she was more annoyed than scared when he started calling her and asking her out. The public relations professional did all she could to ignore him -- until she got a delusional email from him calling her his "queen." It was the "scariest thing I'd ever seen," she said. He then started texting her and following her on Twitter. "My husband called him when he texted," Lisa said. "Then I blocked him from Twitter and Facebook, obviously."

As 1 in 10 Americans know, old-fashioned stalking is scary enough as it is -- and three-quarters of the 3.4 million regular Americans who are stalked every year are targeted by someone they know, like an ex-husband or ex-boyfriend. (For the record, women are more than twice as likely to be victimized as men.) And now technology like Twitter, GPS and Facebook is adding another layer of creepiness: 1 in 4 stalking cases involves some form of cyberstalking, like email (83 percent) or instant messaging (35 percent).

Take the example from of former New York Giants football player Michael Strahan, who last March planted a GPS in his girlfriend's car because he suspected her of cheating.

Click here to keep reading about cyberstalking, including the story of a four college girls who were stalked by a police officer.

Technology Is Changing the Game

Other victims meet with worse fates than Lisa. Take the case of Wesleyan University student Johanna Justin-Jinich, 21, who was shot and killed in May by an ex who had been stalking her. At one point, her killer reportedly sent 38 threatening emails.

"Technology changes the avenue by which people can stalk," says Robin Sax, a deputy district attorney for Los Angeles County and legal analyst on CNN's "Larry King Live." "No matter what people try to do to stay ahead of the times, stalkers tend to be several steps ahead of everyone else."

Even if it's not as extreme as GPS, stalkers can still keep tight tabs on you by following your Facebook and Twitter updates. Technology raises the stakes by putting a victim in more imminent danger, said Cindy Southworth, director of technology at the National Network to End Domestic Violence in Washington.

Think about it -- how often do you broadcast your whereabouts on Twitter?

"Facebook doesn't scare me as much as Twitter," says Sax. "I always tell people who use Twitter to use it to talk about thoughts and current events, not about physical locations."

The Problem Reaches Beyond Twitter

Another common tool stalkers use is a simple cell phone, like in the case of Jill from Illinois.

Jill was a college senior when a man began stalking her and her roommates after getting hold of all of their cell phone numbers. At first, the women didn't take it very seriously.

"Then one night three of us went out, and one stayed home," Jill said. "The stalker called the girl who was home alone. From that moment, we realized he not only had our cell phone numbers, but he knew which number belonged to which girl, where we lived and when we left the house. It was the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me. We were scared to sleep."

When the students finally reported the man, the police took it very seriously, giving the women round-the-clock surveillance. Jill's stalker turned out to be Jeff Pelo, a former police officer who'd used systems he had access to as a cop to run all of their license plate numbers. He was later sentenced to 440 years in prison for raping multiple girls and stalking more.

How to Protect Yourself

Stalking laws vary from state to state, but no matter where you live, you should report it to the police if someone is targeting you.

"People need to come forward and tell," Sax said. "Teens and students don't want to be hassled with it. They don't see the potential for real danger. It's definitely not going to get prosecuted if you don't report it."

Even though it sounds ballsy, Sax also recommends using whatever technology you're being harassed through against the perp. Here are some additional tips:

-Always go to the police, but also tell somebody else, like a trusted friend.

-Password-protect computers and programs.

-Don't ever engage the stalker. If he's called you 40 times, then you pick up on the 41st ring even just to say "Stop calling me!" then you've showed him that it takes 41 tries to reach you.

-If you become a victim, don't delete the accounts -- you're deleting evidence. Deactivate them. Also taking screenshots isn't a bad idea.

-Make a police report for each incident. Some states require a certain number of acts; in Sax's state of California, it's three.

-Set up Google alerts to see what's being written about you.

Cosmo also offers these tips on how not to get stalked through your social networking sites.

Tell us: Have you been stalked online or through the phone? What did you do to stop it?

stalking1 in 100 women are stalked. What to do if it's you. (Lemondrop)

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1917687The secret to every hit independent film: hand-drawn block letters. See for yourself. (College Humor)


Is it OK to Fantasize About Your Spouse's Friends? (Asylum)


Throw a Bachelorette Party That's More Classy, Less Trashy (Lemondrop)


I Let My Husband Plan Our Wedding (The Frisky)