Lisa G. from Minnesota didn't think much of a seemingly harmless man she sometimes saw out. In fact, she was more annoyed than scared when he started calling her and asking her out. The public relations professional did all she could to ignore him -- until she got a delusional email from him calling her his "queen." It was the "scariest thing I'd ever seen," she said. He then started texting her and following her on Twitter. "My husband called him when he texted," Lisa said. "Then I blocked him from Twitter and Facebook, obviously."
As 1 in 10 Americans know, old-fashioned stalking is scary enough as it is -- and three-quarters of the 3.4 million regular Americans who are stalked every year are targeted by someone they know, like an ex-husband or ex-boyfriend. (For the record, women are more than twice as likely to be victimized as men.) And now technology like Twitter, GPS and Facebook is adding another layer of creepiness: 1 in 4 stalking cases involves some form of cyberstalking, like email (83 percent) or instant messaging (35 percent).
Take the example from of former New York Giants football player Michael Strahan, who last March planted a GPS in his girlfriend's car because he suspected her of cheating.
Technology Is Changing the Game
Other victims meet with worse fates than Lisa. Take the case of Wesleyan University student Johanna Justin-Jinich, 21, who was shot and killed in May by an ex who had been stalking her. At one point, her killer reportedly sent 38 threatening emails.
"Technology changes the avenue by which people can stalk," says Robin Sax, a deputy district attorney for Los Angeles County and legal analyst on CNN's "Larry King Live." "No matter what people try to do to stay ahead of the times, stalkers tend to be several steps ahead of everyone else."
Even if it's not as extreme as GPS, stalkers can still keep tight tabs on you by following your Facebook and Twitter updates. Technology raises the stakes by putting a victim in more imminent danger, said Cindy Southworth, director of technology at the National Network to End Domestic Violence in Washington.
"Facebook doesn't scare me as much as Twitter," says Sax. "I always tell people who use Twitter to use it to talk about thoughts and current events, not about physical locations."
The Problem Reaches Beyond Twitter
Another common tool stalkers use is a simple cell phone, like in the case of Jill from Illinois.
Jill was a college senior when a man began stalking her and her roommates after getting hold of all of their cell phone numbers. At first, the women didn't take it very seriously.
"Then one night three of us went out, and one stayed home," Jill said. "The stalker called the girl who was home alone. From that moment, we realized he not only had our cell phone numbers, but he knew which number belonged to which girl, where we lived and when we left the house. It was the most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me. We were scared to sleep."
When the students finally reported the man, the police took it very seriously, giving the women round-the-clock surveillance. Jill's stalker turned out to be Jeff Pelo, a former police officer who'd used systems he had access to as a cop to run all of their license plate numbers. He was later sentenced to 440 years in prison for raping multiple girls and stalking more.
Stalking laws vary from state to state, but no matter where you live, you should report it to the police if someone is targeting you.
"People need to come forward and tell," Sax said. "Teens and students don't want to be hassled with it. They don't see the potential for real danger. It's definitely not going to get prosecuted if you don't report it."
Even though it sounds ballsy, Sax also recommends using whatever technology you're being harassed through against the perp. Here are some additional tips:
-Always go to the police, but also tell somebody else, like a trusted friend.
-Password-protect computers and programs.
-Don't ever engage the stalker. If he's called you 40 times, then you pick up on the 41st ring even just to say "Stop calling me!" then you've showed him that it takes 41 tries to reach you.
-If you become a victim, don't delete the accounts -- you're deleting evidence. Deactivate them. Also taking screenshots isn't a bad idea.
-Make a police report for each incident. Some states require a certain number of acts; in Sax's state of California, it's three.
-Set up Google alerts to see what's being written about you.
Cosmo also offers these tips on how not to get stalked through your social networking sites.
Tell us: Have you been stalked online or through the phone? What did you do to stop it?
1 in 100 women are stalked. What to do if it's you. (Lemondrop)
Is it OK to Fantasize About Your Spouse's Friends? (Asylum)
Throw a Bachelorette Party That's More Classy, Less Trashy (Lemondrop)
I Let My Husband Plan Our Wedding (The Frisky)








The secret to every hit independent film: hand-drawn block letters. See for yourself. (College Humor)





Comments:
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Saturday 25 July
By wes
The police just give you a beligerent attitute, and tell you to call a different police department.
Reply
Saturday 25 July
By corey
yep rogue cops out there
Saturday 25 July
By Strawmanslave
Creeps?,... Oh, you mean Government officials
Reply
Saturday 25 July
By pdk
I've got an ex-girlfriend stalking me, and has contacted my brother on occasion to find out where I am, who I'm with, etc. She's also called my current gf at work impersonating someone else to slander me. Plus, she's sent me threatening and abusive emails and voicemails on my cellphone, all of which I kept.
I didn't waste my time with the police on my first step. I contacted a lawyer who wrote a cease and desist order threatening prosecution on the next contact of any kind. The lawyer read the emails and listened to the voicemail.
You don't have to be young (i.e. in your 20s) or be female to be a victim. I'm a 50ish male.
Reply
Saturday 25 July
By Bob
I have been stalked by email and on the Internet by several people and took it to the Sheriff and they laughed about it. My Reputation has been shot to pieces. They sent numerous emails around calling me Bad things and Posted it on Many Discussion Groups where 1000's of people that I am associated with in my Hobby are. Most of it was done by two 18 and 20 year old girls who got upset that I was only a friend to them and not more. It caused troubles in my relationship as well as my whole life and still goes on today. People look down their noses at me because of what was said. It was all lies! The Cops need to start doing their damn jobs or let us shoot people who F**K with us!
Bob
Reply
Saturday 25 July
By Susan
I agree! The same thing has been done to me only it is by a cop that I made the mistake of getting involved with. Who do I report that to, his buddies at the police station? It is a sad day when we can no longer trust or believe in anyone, especially those who are paid to protect us and it turns out they are the very ones we need to be protected from. Honesty, integrity and character seem to be a thing of the past.
Saturday 25 July
By ycav4424
Lets call the police about everybody advertising in the comment sections. If they do something about that, they might help with something a little harder.
Reply
Saturday 25 July
By Wanda
PLEASE don't cry about men stalking you when you choose to go on all these web sites and give your name and talk to them.....they should all be banned!!!! Our children are going on them and then these men are somehow getting them to meet them.....OPEN YOUR EYES AMERICA THESE ARE PEOPLE WE DO NOT KNOW AND CANNOT TRUST!!!!!!!
Reply
Saturday 25 July
By Doug
I agree with Wanda. If you advertise yourself to the world, trying to meet the world, expect the world's worst at your door step. Stalking is a result of immorality, a loss of respect for life, a loss of respect for the opposite gender and generally, the loss of spiritual devotion, a society that has become tolerant of promiscuity, killing babies that interrupt your lifestyle, divorce, etc. pretty much every liberal agenda possible. This is destroying the fabric of our society and we know it.
Saturday 25 July
By ADMR
When is My GPS GOING tO eXPIRE ERIC??? - Everywhere I go, Everything I do.
Reply
Saturday 25 July
By Sue
I went to the police and asked them to call his number and tell them who they were and to stop contacting me. The man was from another state, therefore, it is considered federal felony stalking which carries a higher charge. The police office told him that if he contacted me again that it would be taken up with the FBI. This seemed to get him to stop, although some are not so easy I'm sure. The police where very willing to help and took this seriously. They were willing to help me in any way, but then again, this is Maine. They also told me NOT to change my phone information and keep the records that I already have for evidence.
Reply
Saturday 25 July
By Sue
P.S. They also told me NEVER to answer the calls (no matter how irritating they get, let them go to voice mail. Also, don't answer no name callers and don't shut off your phone while he's trying to reach you because it will not register as a missed call unless he leaves a voice mail. You want all the evidence you can get.
Reply
Saturday 25 July
By Maggie
It started slowly. About five minutes after I was online he would IM me to say hello. Then everytime I went online he would be there IM'ing me to talk, no matter what time of day or how many times I went on line. He was always there. I didn't want to go online because I felt like he would be waiting. I finally turned to my 25 year old son and he went online and had a "talk" with the guy. That ended the problem. I suggest if you're a woman, and have a son, tell him what's happening. I was amazed what an impact having a "protector" around makes. And a son has a vested interest in having his mom around for a long time so this definitely comes across in the little "chat." If you don't have a son...borrow one who can sound authentic.
Reply
Saturday 25 July
By Mischelle
I was stalked by an ex-boyfriend. I took my answering machine tapes and photos of what he had done to my aprtment & had a restraining order placed on him. All he had to do was break that order one time and he would be arrested- it's out of your hands at that point. You don't have to press charges- if the stalker breaks the restraining order, the police have to arrest him- no questions asked. Don't be fooled if you are being stalked- get aggressive and get the stalker off your back.
Reply
Saturday 25 July
By webkitty
There are strange people everywhere. You can meet the on the net or in the local market. About 10 years ago I participated on a site for 40somethings. I met some very nice people and I met some creeps. For the most part, and as in any meeting place, some people bonded more than others. And, yes, there a lot, and I do mean A LOT, of married men looking for action. Some got it but some were blown out of the water and just went away.
Reply
Friday 21 August
By Henry
Louisville Paranormal Investigations says: we like myspace better than anyone of the others. We have places to put our pictures and to show our documentaries Shadows of Kentucky. We're on facebook but seldom go there
Reply
Saturday 25 July
By LDJF
My x-husbands constantly looks at my profie on a dating site....Jdate.
At least once a day. He just looks but does not contact me. I'm divorced from him for over 10 years. It feels like I'm being stalked even though he does not contact me.
Reply
Saturday 25 July
By Shannon
The thing that annoys me, is the first woman gave the man her phone number, a fact that the story tries to gloss over, because she thought he was harmless. Why is a married woman giving a man who is obviously interested her phone number? That started the whole thing. I'm a woman, and I have friends that love male attention, and I hate listening to them complain about some guy who just won't leave them alone when they encouraged the attention to start with. For starters, DON'T GIVE A STRANGE MAN YOUR PHONE NUMBER UNLESS YOU'RE INTERESTED IN HIM. Not only is it dangerous, it isn't nice to lead someone on when you have no intentions of following through. Please realize, I don't think women are at fault for being stalked, just that there is something called "victim facilitation" which means there are choices you can make which will lead to you becoming a victim, or not. Giving out your phone number is one of them.
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Saturday 25 July
By JoJo
I'm wondering why it took her so long to block him. If he was contacting her and she didn't like it, she should have told him ONE TIME "please stop contacting me, I'm not interested". If he replies, immediately block him. It sounds like there was a bit of interaction..."please stop", or "I asked you not to contact me". A person doesn't have to do this. You say you're not interested and the respond, they're trouble. BLOCK THEM, to reply, even in the negative, is giving them the attention they want
Reply
Saturday 25 July
By gwynsong
I have been stalked for over three years by my ex who lives overseas. He has broken into my bank account, itunes account, email, messageboards and social networking sites. Apparently while still with me in the US, he had logged all of my passwords using a program called a keyboard logger. He changed online profile information to read that I was a prostitute. He called 20+ times a day and sent text messages. He posted intimate pictures of me online and contacted my job in an attempt to get me fired. I went to the court and tried a restraining order, but because he isn't physically in the US, they can't issue one. I contacted lawyers - who say there isn't anything I can do. I reported him to the FBI online and have heard nothing from them.
I don't know what to do.
Reply