27 Comments   
Lesley Arfin is the kick-ass author of "Dear Diary" a long-time contributor to Vice magazine and one of the raddest girls we know. So it makes sense that we'd go to her for advice about boys, fashion and pretty much anything else we're not sure about. Got a question about love, relationships or that burning sensation? Ask Lesley.

Dear Lesley,

I have a problem. I'm in love with my best friend -- a dude -- but he's not in love with me. He tells me I'm great and beautiful, but he doesn't have any interest in dating me (even though I know he is straight, and we have hooked up before). I've tried to move on by dating other people, but it doesn't seem to help. Nobody compares to him, and every time I see him my heart explodes into a zillion pieces. How do you get over someone you never really had?

Click here to read Lesley's advice after the jump.


This is a bad situation, period. The bad news is that no matter how hard you try, you're not gonna be able to get your BFF to fall in love with you. That's not to say he won't, but it won't happen on your clock and there's no secret to making this happen. The good news is that you can get over it.

First, don't hook up with him. I know that's easier said than done, but it seems like you're giving him his cake and letting him eat it too and all that. It might be hard to resist hooking up with him but in the long run it's just going to make your obsession grow. But listen, even if you do hook up with him, don't beat yourself up about it. It's fine. We all bottom out on the thing that drives us crazy in our own time, and eventually you will get sick of being in love with someone who doesn't love you back, but in the meantime just try to accept it and be aware of your actions and how they affect you. You will get another crush, and you will get over this one.

Try hanging out with your girlfriends and doing nice things for yourself. I don't think you should ignore him, but I do think you shouldn't make him your top priority. Usually when we put our needs above someone else's, that's when they start feeling you more anyway. If it's meant to happen, it will, and if it's not, it usually means something better is waiting for you just around the corner. Don't forget that rejection is protection. I hope this helps.

xx
Lesley

Agree with Lesley's advice? Disagree? Tell us in the comments.