Oh, boys. Sometimes they try
to be helpful, but it just comes out wrong. Take, for instance, the "10 Things Not to Say to a Guy Who's a Baseball Fan
" piece that Matt Christensen
, one of our favorite contributors, recently wrote for Lemondrop.
Not to say we don't agree with his points -- Matt's a sharp dude. But the baseball fans among us felt it was a little on the, uh, retro side. As commenter Katie
wrote, "There are a lot of women out there that know about baseball and even enjoy watching it
." The questions in the story wouldn't just outrage a guy fan, they'd outrage any
I asked Julie DiCaro
, a blogger over at ChicagoNow.com
who shares my passion for America's pastime and the Cubs, to respond to the questions ... on behalf of women who can talk baseball with the best of 'em.
Matt's "Stadium No-No" #10: "Do they serve sushi at the stadium?"
If you (or anyone else) order sushi at the ballpark, pack up and go home. In fact, if you're a fan of a team that serves sushi at their ballpark, we can't date.
I agree, Erin. And when Matt packs up and goes home, he should take the sashimi-eating, Blackberry-wielding, imported-beer-drinking corporate guys in the row behind the dugout with him.
to keep reading ...Matt's "Stadium No-No" #9: "Eww. Baseball hats make me look bad."
You have NO IDEA how hot I look in a baseball hat when I'm busy explaining how "Moneyball" wasn't about on-base percentage per se
, but undervalued statistics and how on-base-plus-slugging is far more useful [than batting average] in evaluating good hitters.
Is it still going to look hot when I'm wearing it backwards and inside out because it's the bottom of the ninth, there are two outs, a full count, and we're down one with the winning run on base?
Matt's "Stadium No-No" #8: "Do we have to stay for the whole game?"
He's got a point here. If you agreed to a long date you're not 100 percent into, then don't complain.
Have you considered that what she really means is "Do I have to stay for the whole date?"
Matt's "Stadium No-No" #7: "My ex loved baseball!"
What she means: "My ex was secure enough that he didn't feel the need to mock every word that comes out of my mouth. I wonder what he's doing these days?"
This doesn't apply to just baseball. Moot point.
Matt's "Stadium No-No" #6: "Don't all these guys use performance enhancers?"
Calling makeup a performance enhancer? Different ballgame. If Barry Bonds wants to take on Hank Aaron, he'd better do it on his own merits, not because a little extra juice helps him muscle warning-track balls into McCovey Cove.
Soooo true. Anyway, if a girl asks you this, then you follow up with the same debate that would naturally follow if this question had come from one of your buddies: Who deserves an asterisk?
Matt's "Stadium No-No" #5: "Why is the 'K' backwards?"
If she's asking, she wants to learn. Give her a break, man.
a break. Half the guys at the ballpark don't know why the "K" is backwards.
Matt's "Stadium No-No" #4: "This game is so boring."
Depends on the situation. If this comment was uttered during a game like last week's All Star Game, then see #8.
But seriously? After the 15th consecutive foul tip at a 1-0 Blue Jays-Mariners game in late September, she's probably right.
Matt's "Stadium No-No" #3: "I hate the Cubs."
I suppose I appreciate the thought, but we don't need your sympathy fans.
I agree. If a girl says this, she sucks. Kick her ass to the curb.
Matt's "Stadium No-No" #2: "'Summer Catch' is, like, my favorite movie!"
Pretend she said "Eight Men Out," "Bull Durham" or "Pride of the Yankees."
A list of baseball movies that includes "Summer Catch" is as bad as one that excludes "The Sandlot."
Matt's "Stadium No-No" #1: "That A-Rod sure is hot!"
For the record, girls would point out everyone's
hotness -- from Evan Longoria
to Eva Longoria
. Are you too threatened to find beauty in the masculine? I bet A-Rod isn't limited by such insecurities.
And please. We listened to you talk about Megan Fox for three days after "Transformers." Personally, I think A-Rod looks like a bulldog. But David Wright and Derrek Lee ...
And to you ladies reading this, tell us: Are you a big sports fan
? If so, leave your story in the comments, and be sure to include your hometown. (I'm convinced certain regions breed more female sports fans.)
Erin Scottberg is community editor at Lemondrop and lifelong Cubs fan.