Lemondrop

The aMEliorator

Identifying Characteristics: This self-centered buddy somehow manages to turn every story you tell into an opportunity to talk about herself. Your car got broken into? Well, once she saw this crazy car chase in California. Your boyfriend broke up with you? She's still reeling over the date she went on last week -- you won't believe what this guy did! You lost your job? Wait until you hear about her crappy boss. If you talk to the aMEliorator, you will.

Field Study: "It's like Jessica isn't even listening when I tell her about what I'm dealing with at home," says Felicia, 25. Felicia's raising her 8-month-old daughter by herself, but Jessica, who has a 1-year-old son, doesn't seem to be listening. "She starts yapping on about her own kid. I mean, her kid is great, but I would like a little support, you know?"

Read more after the jump!

Why You Keep the aMEliorator Around: Maybe she's not aware she's running her mouth about herself. Specify that you really need her advice, and see if she's able to come through. But maybe she's just incredibly self-absorbed, in which case, keep her on the periphery of your friend circle -- relegated to superficial hang-outs and group dates. This friend isn't going to be any good in a clutch situation.

Got a Friend Terrorist -- a super-toxic friend -- you want to tell us about? Share your story in the comments or drop us a line! We promise we'll change all identifying characteristics and incriminating details!