David Smith used to weigh 650 lbs. (That's like, the equivalent of Zac Efron and Ed Westwick doing a human pyramid on top of all three Jonas Brothers!) He's since become a personal trainer and has lost all but 250 pounds ... but no amount of squat thrusts can lessen the crushing heft of his lingering virginity.

TLC, home of two-headed girls, midgets and the terminally douchey, knew an opportunity when they saw one. "The 650-lb Virgin" premieres tonight, and concerns David's search for love as a man who's shed his old pounds, but not his old insecurities. It'll touch your heart like a flying flap of loose skin. Click for a clip.