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Some folks believe that falling in love is a matter of fate -- trusting that if they go about their lives, they'll meet their soul mates. Others approach it with the strategy of a business investment. Ron James, 48, for example, contacted hundreds of women -- sometimes going on three dates in one day(!) -- until he met the right one.
Playing the Numbers
After his divorce in 2006, Ron went on a find-a-new-partner mission. He signed up for JDate, a dating service for Jewish singles. "I'd work at it two to three hours a night," he says, managing his love life like he was a CEO.
In the first 18 months, he emailed 500 to 600 women. "I thought it was a respect thing, so I tried to respond to everybody," says Mr. James. "Even if it was just to say that it didn't appear that we would be a good fit. It also became clear after emailing or talking to some on the phone, that it was not the right fit, so I definitely didn't meet all of them."
From there he whittled it down to meeting/dating about 40 to 50 women, sometimes booking three coffee dates in a day.
Click here to read the rest after the jump.
It may sound extreme, but experts say that casting a wide net is a common approach, especially for guys. "I think men believe in the numbers theory -- the more women they meet, the more likely they are to find the right one for them," says Cherie Burbach, author of "Internet Dating Is Not Like Ordering Pizza."
Men -- who may be more task-oriented than women -- tend to treat online dating like fishing: Cast a wide net and see what happens.
(Click Next to read more about Ron's search for love.)
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Comments:
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Saturday 11 July
By Deelalips
500 to 600...too funny. 550 women probably never replied or dumped him. lol
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Saturday 11 July
By SLAGHMAN
MMmmm...seems like Ron decided to make a plan, stick to it, and
he finally found what he was looking for... There are many ways to
find love in today's world (and I emphasize WORLD). For me, after my wife died from MS, I found dating in my 40s to be really a waste of time, and so i decided to start just enjoying life and traveling "the world". Wow, one of the best decisions I have ever made. I have not only enjoyed the wonders of China, Peru, Colombia, Ukraine, Costa Rica, Phuket, and Cebu in the Philippines, but have also met and dated some wonderful Christian women too.
I suspect when I find the right woman, I will absolutely marry again, but to be honest, my "plan" sure doesn't include looking around my home town city!
jd
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Saturday 11 July
By myrnaspaws
Are we supposed to respect this guy because he could not be alone for 5 minutes after his divorce? that he was so single minded that he scheduled 3 "coffee dates" a day with different women? Didnt he have a life, friends, kids, pets, other interests? I think its good that people have a goal of finding love, a relationship in their lives, and that they have a plan to do so, but sorry - this guy is over the top.
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Saturday 11 July
By Ron
Smart thinking, it may prevent a divorce. I know I sure as heck should have done such things. I wouldn't wish my divorce on anyone.........
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Saturday 11 July
By Deelalips
Seriously, this guy sounded desparate. Come on, who would be dating 600 women, three a day, like work? Dating is for enjoyment; it's not supposed to be a job unless you are desparately seeking Susan. If I ended being hooked up with a man that I found he dated 600 before deciding on me, I would seriously wonder what his problem was that he was so disatisfied and unavailable. There are a lot of good women out there, and a lot of good men. He just sound plain creepy.
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Saturday 11 July
By Mr Wonderful
You know ladies if you don't find Mr Perfect You can always lower your expections . I know I have :>)
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Saturday 11 July
By Mr Wonderful
Ladies if you are having trouble finding Mr Perfect . You might want to lower your expectations . I know I have :>)
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Saturday 11 July
By Deelalips
This guys sounds like he was big-time desperate. Come on, dating is supposed to be enjoyable, but 600, working it like a job, three a day? Sounds like Desperately Seeking Susan to me. Quite honestly if I hooked up with this man in the end and found he'd dated 600 before deciding on me, I would seriously have to step back and wonder what he was so unavailable. There's a lot of good women out there and a lot of good men! Personally speaking, I think he not only looks creepy, but his behavior was really creepy! Sort of like a predator, if you will.
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Saturday 11 July
By Val
My approach was pretty much the same as this guy's. I was dating pretty much for the first time at the age of 40 after being divorced and then widowed. My last 1st date was with my awesome husband. He was my second date that day! Perserverance and treating it like a part time job I can very much relate to. When things don't work out on one date, you can't sit around and mope, even when the disappointment is painful....NEXT....NEXT....NEXT....leads to Mr. or Mrs. Right. :)
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Saturday 11 July
By TERI
THEY LIE ON DATING SERVICES THEY LIE IN PERSON AS WELL. AND WHO IS HE TO THINK HE CAN USE DATING AS A PART TIME JOB. IF A LOT OF WOMEN RESPONDED TO HIM THERE MUST BE A LOT OF DESPERATE WOMEN. LOOKS ARENT EVERYTHING BUT COME ON HES ACTING LIKE HES BRAD PITT. THE MIRROR DONT LIE HONEY
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Saturday 11 July
By Uuulala
He's ridiculous. Not every one wants to be married, nor should be married. IF that's what you want, and IT happens, then so be it. But to hunt it down and kill it like next, next, next, next, next for months and months to a year or so is way over the top.
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Sunday 12 July
By orefungrl
Please people women and men both cheat equally! Personally I find it funny as hell.... Idiots get married just to be with someone then cheat! what a joke insecure asses!!!!
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Sunday 12 July
By country6earth
Common Barbara....do we really believe you that 9 years with a "best friend" is just platonic? If you are manic/depressive...both personalities do not remember what the other one did or said.....so you should ask this "best friend" if it is just platonic between both of you....and see what he says!
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Sunday 12 July
By bobdying
Country,
Manic/depressive is NOT dual personality disorder. You don't understand psychiatry at all, I see. I believe Barbara and understand her motivation to stay away from sex. She does have the right to marry her best friend, because she is a widow. But God says in the Bible through Paul "it is better if you remain as I...." see 1 corinthians 7:8. Barbara is doing better living the way she is according to scripture. Loyalty to Christ is something you cannot understand unless you are a child of God.
Monday 13 July
By country6earth
First, I'm sorry for what you are going thru, Bob. I have had many friends and an ex husband who are manic/depressive....and it is a fact that they do not remember and deny things they said and did. Therefore, one cannot work out differences or communicate because of their lies and denials. Whether it is a dual personality or just plain lieing or being cunning....whatever the case may be....forgiveness is given if responsibility is taken....but with that illness...even if they admit to doing something "not righteous in the sight of God"...it is a medical fact that they blame others for their actions...so any kind of relationship with them is hopeless.
Sunday 12 July
By wtrlvrcat
After being married 20 years, I suddenly found myself back in the new world of dating. Working full time plus hours and not doing bar scenes anymore limited meeting a decent man. I tried on line dating and Yes there are predators, liars and cheaters out there. I made a list of rules, meet in public places, never get in their car, never go straight home, have a friend who knows what, where, and who, and call them after the date so they know you're safe. I also didn't give my number out fast. I wanted more than cell number from them, if they give you home number you can call whenever chances are slimmer that they're married. Anyways I too would sometimes meet 2-3 men on my days off for coffee and face to face chats after weeding out the obvious people I didn't click with for various purposes. I actually remain good friends with 2 such men. The great news is I just celebrated my 5th wedding anniversary with a man that I met due to on line dating. We took our time each of us being divorced 1 time and having meet some real losers/liarswe on the net. Truthfully as much as each of us really liked each others inner person we weren't sure if this was going anywhere because our backgrounds and races are different. While he had dated outside his race, I hadn't. I grew up in a rural area, him in the city. But love really does help you conquer all. Our family and friends quickly saw we cared about each other and watch our love grow. I guess I've said enough. Just remember in todays age and technology the internet is a tool you can use but like any tool use it responsibly and safely.
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Sunday 12 July
By Joe Blow
The so-called writer who pretended to write this piece actually stole it from last week's New York Times. Go to nytimes.com to read the real article. This is just blatant plagarism.
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Sunday 12 July
By KDawnN
Actually, that NY Times article inspired the editors to have this piece written for AOL and the couple was interviewed independently for a new Lemondrop article by the author. Since it is their story, obviously the facts would be the same and there might be some crossover. The couple was very excited and cooperative to have another piece written about them.
Sunday 12 July
By Joe Bow
Sounds like B.S. to me. You even stole the pictures.
Reply
Sunday 12 July
By KDawnN
The photos were from their wedding and were sent directly to AOL with photo credits/approval for use when photos were requested.
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