It's summertime -- and that means barbecues, pool parties, and the requisite suntans. But before you break out the Hawaiian Tropic and try to bake yourself to a deep golden brown, take a look at our gallery of tans gone bad -- poor souls who have burned themselves into crispy red lobsters. Ouch.Slather on the SPF 72 and check out the gallery below.
Bad Tans
It took two deputies and a putty knife to get this guy's hat off his head for the mug shot.
smokinggun.com
Carl never understood why everyone called him "Wife Beater." He wasn't even married.
webshots.com
Never say the Pledge of Allegiance at the beach when you're drowsy.
mscasey.com
The "S" stands for "Socially Retarded."
flickr.com
Rule number one for applying sunscreen: Always get help for those hard-to-reach places.
flickr.com
Nicole Richie takes a stroll on the beach and tries to even out her ass tan.
photobucket.com
Sunbathing topless would have been better for numerous reasons.
webshots.com
Speedo or bike shorts -- either way you lose. So do we.
flickr.com
Clearly, the idea of "mom jerky" didn't sound too good to Calvin.
Photobucket.com
Life is hard.
smokinggun.com
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Monday 31 August
By lakecitybelle
I once laid on a beach towel in early summer trying to get a tan before our vacation at the lake. This was before the sun beds. After a few summers, I noticed I had brown splotches on my face. I made an appointment with my doctor who explained it was sun damage. I knew nothing about skin cancer, but I certainly didn't want my skin looking like that so I never intentionally exposed my skin to the sun's damaging rays again. I use sunscreen year around. When it became known that anything was harmful to one's well being, I made changes in my lifestyle. I'm not bragging, but I am viewed as being younger than I am. Once when I was doing a treadmill test, I overheard the doctor (one I'd never seen before) laughing while he looked at my chart. He pointed to the chart and said to the nurse, "Look, someone made a mistake. They listed her as being 60. Ha Ha Ha." I Said, "I am sixty." He looked like he was stunned and embarrased, and quickly left the room. I've always said that was the best compliment I've ever received.
The point I'm trying make is that it didn't take a scary diagnosis to stop me from tanning. There's so much information about the damage tanning does to one's skin, plus there's walking proof of the harm it does one's skin. Why would anyone want their skin to look like dried, crinkly shoe leather?
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Monday 09 November
By Meanie
He thought you were 80.
Sunday 08 November
By amgpac
... you know you're a redneck when....
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