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Tacky Syrian LingerieIt's a whole part of their culture, but over here it just looks like you glued some fake flowers onto some pipe cleaners. This is the kind of stuff that curious kids find in the back of their parents' closet just before they start burning kittens alive.
Giant Wooden PhallusSure, you've got the little penis straw-toppers. You've even foolishly purchased the bag of wang-shaped pasta -- but there is no reason for this. As hilarious as it is, after this night it holds no purpose. Not to mention it's way too heavy to lug around while bar hopping.
A Bottle of Sex Oil Tainted With Hot Sauce Oh, you rascal, you. It's only a funny prank if you remember to tell the bride-to-be not to actually use it, but after your third Cosmo you'll probably forget. Don't expect a thank you card. Maybe a hospital bill.
