But he was boring. And I realized that I was on a date and all of the fun, nervous energy has been replaced by wishing you were back home watching episodes of "House." It then occurred to me that my online dating mojo may be tragically defunct.
Had I been at it too long? I felt like I'd learned everything there was to know -- or at least I'd learned a thing or two about looking for love online ... and why I won't be doing it anymore.
Click here to keep reading ...
You're a Serial Online Dater? Uh, So Is He
Just because things didn't work out with a guy you met online, THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE DISAPPEARS.
Like you, he's back online, and probably on exactly the same forum you are. You risk finding his ad or profile each time you return to the scene of the crime. Sooner or later, it's bound to happen. I suspect this is how multitudes of laptops find their way to the Genius Bar -- women check Match.com, jump back in horror, catch an ankle in the power cord, and accidentally yank the computer off the table so it falls to the hardwood floor with a muted metallic clunk. Not that I speak from experience, or anything.
If you know your last lover relied on a site in the past, that particular avenue is now closed -- even if you've never used it. Date long enough and soon there are no safe portals on the entire Internet. I imagine this is how Frankenstein felt as he was fleeing the angry mob of torch-wielding townspeople.
Don't Hate the Internet, Hate the Game
After fleeing my intensely awkward date, I went home, took down my profile and vowed to use the Web only to buy wildly impractical shoes and query Dr. Google about my sore throat. (Prognosis: Death.)
The Internet is a tool, not an oracle, and it's tempting to blame the messenger. At some point you have better things to do than engage in epic email correspondence with strangers. Time that would be better spent composing a book of themed limericks or rearranging bedroom furniture. Leaving only the real world, a world I personally have avoided most assiduously since, well, birth.
Off the Computer and Into the World
Actively participating in life rather than hunching over my computer may just be the change needed to catapult me from the cold comfort of my inbox toward someone I can actually make breakfast for -- or, better yet, someone who will get up first and put the bacon on. If I discover three dates in that he can't spell "governance," that's still far better than finding out his emails were copy edited by his mother, who, incidentally, also launders his socks.
All the standard rules still apply -- it's all about timing; it doesn't matter how or where you meet someone, just that you're open to it. But it's time to escape the endless rash of emails and venture into the out-of-doors and alternate activities. Bye, Internet. I care about you as a vast global entity, but we're just not suited for one another.
Amber Adrian writes about dating and love and is a frequent Lemondrop contributor.




















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Thursday 02 July
By http:www.usatodatei?a=50
In the world of online dating, it may or may not work for everybody. If you know how to play your game then chances are you can find the love of your life. However, knowing the rule of the game doesn't mean you will be successful because for example you have already find the love of your life and then the love isn't reciprocated. I think when one joins an online dating site it is just a matter of luck and in the palm of your hands.
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Thursday 16 July
By Ryan
Online dating is such a fascinating concept for geeks. It has sure brightened my life a few times this year.
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Sunday 26 July
By u there
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Thursday 13 August
By Judy
I had the same on and off love affair with the internet. I tried every “free” site available and paid only for Match.com. I would go on a string of so so dates and I’m sure they felt the same about me. After one year of doing this almost every weekend and once in awhile during the week, I gave up for 1-1/2 years because I needed a break badly. I slowly creeped back on and found a teacher who seemed pleasant enough. He was interesting and witty. We dated casually (which means only when he felt like showing up) and I kept busy in the mean time maintaining my crush. Suddenly, he told me that he had “demons” in his head that prevent him from being in a relationship but if I was willing to continue dating casually he was up for it. I told him that I wasn’t and kept to myself the part about it being the “demons” that scared me off rather than his failure to commit.
One month later, out of boredom, I creeped back onto the internet but changed my location of search just so I wouldn’t have to look at the same faces I had been looking at for almost three years. There I saw a pleasant enough person in a photograph who was trying to start life over after a long term marriage had ended. I had to join Match.com over again just to write a couple of lines to this man. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular as by then I kept busy enough for two people, but this person looked “adoptable” which was a weakness of mine when it came to dragging home animals in need, so I said hello and used the famous pick up line “Do you come here often ?” He responded and we wrote back and forth about a bunch of nothing for two months. Suddenly one day, he asked if we could meet. We met on a Friday night for a drink and the visit lasted six hours. After two more dates, we became inseparable.
We have been married for three years after three years of dating and being engaged. We couldn’t be happier and we have several friends together that keep us social although we are just as happy to be home together.
If internet dating has worn you out, take a break or try a different location. Broaden your search range. Try a new site. Internet dating can and does work or there wouldn’t be so many sites to choose from. And a word of advice for everyone. If you go on a date that is obviously go nowhere from the minute you sit down, do both of you a favor and be honest. There is no point in taking up anyone’s time if there is absolutely no interest or no chemistry.
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Thursday 13 August
By JayDee
I have a close friend who decided to take the leap into the world of middle aged internet dating. Just 24 hours after placing her ad and photo on a dating site, she called me despondent because there wasn’t a line up of future dating candidates in her mail box. After meeting just three men, she got off the site and has decided to sit home alone. She admitted that she doesn’t believe in pursuing someone as from the middle age generation it was always the “boy” who did the pursuing and the girl who decided whether or not she wanted to accept. I'v e reminded her that this is the new millennium and the dating world has changed drastically from what it was when she was 17 years old. It’s fair game for both genders to put themselves out there and there isn’t anything wrong with a woman asking for a meeting/date or offering to pick up the tab once in awhile, especially in these hard economic times. I think you get as much out of something as you are willing to put into it. Internet dating is a numbers game and the numbers are much higher than they are if you try meeting someone at a library, bar or soccer game.
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Wednesday 02 September
By doug
i think i'm in love!
what a smart, sassy, funny gal.
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