I'm crouching on the floor of a grimy one-room "family" bathroom, the roar of the crowd in the distance. My knees hurt, as does my brain, from calculating exactly how many quarts of Purel it will take to fill my bathtub when I get home. There's an angry knock. "Excuse me," someone snarls. "There's a whole line of families out here with babies." Chastened, I pack up, feeling their pain. After all, I'm making everyone wait because I'm without my baby.
It's the seventh inning of a Mets-Cardinals game at the (mostly) shiny new Citi Field, and I'm just a nursing mom trying to pump.
When I open the door, I see just one family with a baby -- perhaps the others gave up? -- and I apologize to the mother, explaining my predicament. She just scowls. Seriously, scowls. And there I thought the Mommy Wars were a myth.
I return to my seat, rattled, with less than one ounce of milk to show for my maternal efforts. Mets 1, Nursing Mom 0.
Click here to read the rest, after the jump.
Land of Milk and Honey
For the record, Citi Field does have a designated nursing station. Not that they tell you that on the Web site; I found out by calling the press office ... the next day.
Apparently it's in a first-aid room in (fancy) section 118, approximately seven miles from our seats in section 500-something. Better than nothing, but honestly, there's room for improvement, especially in a stadium that made such a huge deal about its great strides toward "potty parity." But this is not really to slam Citi Field. The beer prices are fair, the sight lines excellent, and the Mets won. It's to point out that when you're a nursing mom, it's not easy. You know, to leave the house.
Part of that is the reality of parenthood, of course; we made our bed, we sleep in it (for 2.5-hour stretches). But part of it is that while we are so strongly encouraged to nurse -- for the right reasons, mostly -- we live in a culture that still makes breast-feeding pretty difficult.
Sneaking Around
Friends of mine have had to resort to pumping in: cars (with newspaper over the windows), cars (while driving), the gym of the high school where one worked (surrounded by walls of mats). Right -- if it's hard to manage when we're out having fun, imagine having to do it at work.
(As Marjorie Ingall wrote at Babble.com, "Show me how the girl working the fry-o-later ... is going to inform her manager that she's going to take 40 minutes off every four hours to haul her electric pump into his office, which he should obligingly vacate for her, then provide facilities and opportunity for her to sterilize her equipment and store her milk.")
Not to mention: women busted for nursing in baby stores, nursing photos censored on Facebook.
Help Us Help You; Tell Us How to Mother
I'm not saying every single public space or private establishment needs to provide plush digs for women to curl up with their babies/pumps and their "girls." But we do need better, easier access -- as well as humane, paid maternity leave to help support the recommended minimum six months of nursing. So those who say "breast is best" -- in many cases, making women who don't, or can't, nurse feel guilty -- have also got to join efforts to make "breast" doable.

If breast-feeding is really a matter of public health, then everyone's got to play ball.
Lynn Harris is an award-winning journalist, author of the comic novel "Death by Chick Lit", and co-creator of the venerable Web site BreakupGirl.net. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband and two young children, Bess and Sam, who are polishing up their Vaudeville act.












Comments:
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Sunday 23 August
By Kelly
I just want to say thank you to all the women on here who sent me such encouraging messages. It really meant a lot. My daughter is now almost 3 months old, is 97% breast fed (we have to supplement from time to time...she's ravenous on the boob!) and was a healthy 11lbs. at her last check up. She's absolutely beautiful and I'm glad that I'm able to give her what's best for her. Once again, thank you for your encouraging comments!
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Sunday 23 August
By beverly
The militancy related to this issue is counterproductive, boring and tacky. Sure breastfeeding is a natural life process, but there is a way of going about it without antagonizing everyone about this. Do it with discretion and always ask office personnel or the manager where you can sit and breast feed your child with some privacy. As a manager I have to run a business and I don't need distractions of any kind in the office, or for that atter shut down because of client objections. You can make laws but you can't really change people's minds on the subject overnight . I am all for baby being fed, when they are hungry, but the mother must use commonsense and tact, rather than anger and militancy. This will almost guarantee people going out of their way to accommodate you. You do better with honey than thorns.
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Sunday 23 August
By Beverly
DItto!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Monday 24 August
By Lj
It is a shame that breast feeding is still a controversial topic. I am in my 50's and my mother breast fed all of her children and took a great deal of flak from her own sister and sister in laws. In the late 50's the idea of sterilizing bottles and buying prepared food was the new panacea and mothers were made to feel "out of touch" if they didn't subscribe to the modern approach to motherhood. My mother believed in nursing her children for their health, her own health and quiet time with each new baby. I liked her philosophy and nursed, too. Each person has to do that which is right for them ...and possible for them.
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Monday 24 August
By Steve
I, frankly, don't see anything wrong with nursing a baby in public. Most women I have seen doing this are very discrete and keep themselves covered. As a father and grandfather, there is hardly anything more miraculous than having a baby and nursing that baby. For those people who think this is a bad thing, do something about the girls whose blouse is cut so low that I, (with my glasses on) can clearly see the source of a baby's lunch. Many don't wear bras and some go topless at the beach, others march stark naked in some cities to protest something, and I haven't even mentioned what happens on TV.
So why get upset over a mother doing the most natural thing a mother can do, using her God given equipment to feed an infant that is also God given.
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Sunday 30 August
By K.
Kelly (and other moms),
I had a lot of problems with nursing at first. My baby didn't want to latch on to the nipple, but she would take a bottle. Go figure! Anyway I had a couple of tips that might help with breastfeeding in public.
#1. When you go out wear some B-I-G tee-shirts. You can stick your baby underneath and you don't have to carry some rediculous cover/wrap.
#2. The more people see you nurse, the more they will get used to it. They have to!!
#3. Support from family and friends help, but if they don't give you the respect and support you need... Tell them to mind their own business. You are doing what is best for you and your baby. If they don't like it. Tough!
#4. Just keep with it and don't let people make you feel bad.
Good luck,
K.
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Wednesday 02 September
By Rhonda
Come on women! REALLY? I breast fed two baby girls, now grown, and never once would I consider NOT having the dignity and grace and eloquence to place a light baby blanket over myself. Are you going to fight for public childbirth next? Get real, REALLY!
Of course it is a natural function, but so is going to the bathroom, do you want men to start urinating in public? geez. You are purposely starting a riot about something that should be done with SOME sort of dignity!
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Wednesday 02 September
By Rhonda
Come on women! REALLY? I breast fed two baby girls, now grown, and never once would I consider NOT having the dignity and grace and eloquence to place a light baby blanket over myself. Are you going to fight for public childbirth next? Get real, REALLY!
Of course it is a natural function, but so is going to the bathroom, do you want men to start urinating in public? geez. You are purposely starting a riot about something that should be done with SOME sort of dignity!
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Thursday 03 September
By Patricia
I am a breastfeeding mom, my daughter just turned a year old and has never drank from a bottle. I am so glad that these companies are finally realizing the importance of breastfeeding. I exclusively breastfeed and if my daughter is hungry I have to feed her and if it is in a park or church or toysrus I do what I have to do.
Great Article :)
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Thursday 24 September
By Heidi
I have had 4 children and breast fed every one of them, however, I didn't do it
in public. If I had to go out, I would either feed them before I left, or brought a
bottle with me. What's so hard about that?
If I am at the food court with my 13 yr old son, I really don't want to see you whippin your breast out, to feed your baby! Either go to the bathroom and do
it, or as I said before, bring a bottle with you.
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Friday 15 January
By LMT
"So those who say "breast is best" -- in many cases, making women who don't, or can't, nurse feel guilty -- have also got to join efforts to make "breast" doable."
Breastmilk IS the best thing for a baby. People don't say "Breast is best" to make someone feel guilty. When a study suggests that eating more vegetables reduces one's risk of cancer, do you see veggie-haters getting their panties in a bundle and crying that a veggie advocate made them feel guilty? If a fact makes someone feel guilty, perhaps the offended should listen to her conscience. Very, very few women can't breastfeed. Usually, it is the introduction of a bottle or formula supplementation that leads to a low milk supply.
I breastfeed in public (from at a professional hockey game, to an airplane, to sitting at a light rail stop to restaurants to my office shared with umpteen other people) and have only gotten affirming smiles from people who know that breast is best.
In addition, the World Health Organization recommends that babies be breastfed for a MINIMUM of two years, not six months.
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Wednesday 03 February
By Sally
More than anything, it is a matter of manners.
Many people don't want to see or hear me eat with my mouth open, or talk with my mouth full. Many people don't want to see you publicly nursing. How hard is it to be self-aware?
It really shouldn't be difficult. I don't give a rip if you bottle or breast feed. I don't want to see either, frankly.
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Saturday 06 February
By CYNDY
i think breast feeding is private and should be done in the privacy of ones home. i am uncomfortable when someone does this in front of me while i am shopping please go home and breast feed in front of your family. i also have had women do it in my office where i conduct business and i think it is tacky, go home and feed your children. I especially feel uncomfortable when I am shopping with my mom and dad and see this or worse when I shop with my boyfriend. In a public place use a bottle ! if you want to show off the latest trend do it at home in front of your husband not me. I am a woman and would never consider doing something so private in front of non-family mambers, yuck!
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