I'm crouching on the floor of a grimy one-room "family" bathroom, the roar of the crowd in the distance. My knees hurt, as does my brain, from calculating exactly how many quarts of Purel it will take to fill my bathtub when I get home. There's an angry knock. "Excuse me," someone snarls. "There's a whole line of families out here with babies." Chastened, I pack up, feeling their pain. After all, I'm making everyone wait because I'm without my baby.
It's the seventh inning of a Mets-Cardinals game at the (mostly) shiny new Citi Field, and I'm just a nursing mom trying to pump.
When I open the door, I see just one family with a baby -- perhaps the others gave up? -- and I apologize to the mother, explaining my predicament. She just scowls. Seriously, scowls. And there I thought the Mommy Wars were a myth.
I return to my seat, rattled, with less than one ounce of milk to show for my maternal efforts. Mets 1, Nursing Mom 0.
Click here to read the rest, after the jump.
Land of Milk and Honey
For the record, Citi Field does have a designated nursing station. Not that they tell you that on the Web site; I found out by calling the press office ... the next day.
Apparently it's in a first-aid room in (fancy) section 118, approximately seven miles from our seats in section 500-something. Better than nothing, but honestly, there's room for improvement, especially in a stadium that made such a huge deal about its great strides toward "potty parity." But this is not really to slam Citi Field. The beer prices are fair, the sight lines excellent, and the Mets won. It's to point out that when you're a nursing mom, it's not easy. You know, to leave the house.
Part of that is the reality of parenthood, of course; we made our bed, we sleep in it (for 2.5-hour stretches). But part of it is that while we are so strongly encouraged to nurse -- for the right reasons, mostly -- we live in a culture that still makes breast-feeding pretty difficult.
Sneaking Around
Friends of mine have had to resort to pumping in: cars (with newspaper over the windows), cars (while driving), the gym of the high school where one worked (surrounded by walls of mats). Right -- if it's hard to manage when we're out having fun, imagine having to do it at work.
(As Marjorie Ingall wrote at Babble.com, "Show me how the girl working the fry-o-later ... is going to inform her manager that she's going to take 40 minutes off every four hours to haul her electric pump into his office, which he should obligingly vacate for her, then provide facilities and opportunity for her to sterilize her equipment and store her milk.")
Not to mention: women busted for nursing in baby stores, nursing photos censored on Facebook.
Help Us Help You; Tell Us How to Mother
I'm not saying every single public space or private establishment needs to provide plush digs for women to curl up with their babies/pumps and their "girls." But we do need better, easier access -- as well as humane, paid maternity leave to help support the recommended minimum six months of nursing. So those who say "breast is best" -- in many cases, making women who don't, or can't, nurse feel guilty -- have also got to join efforts to make "breast" doable.

If breast-feeding is really a matter of public health, then everyone's got to play ball.
Lynn Harris is an award-winning journalist, author of the comic novel "Death by Chick Lit", and co-creator of the venerable Web site BreakupGirl.net. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband and two young children, Bess and Sam, who are polishing up their Vaudeville act.

















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Monday 29 June
By Tami Grandpre
My best public nursing story was when I was nursing my 4 month old daughter at a chinese resturant. An elderly man was a little upset that I would do such a thing in public. Mind you she was covered very well witrh a blanket, you knew what she was doing but no way did he see anything. He made a comment along the lines of "this is a resturant" my response was "she's eating lunch so are you what's the problem?" When people would suggest using the bathroom I would have to ask if they ate in the bathroom. I think people have forgotten (men especially) that the point of breasts is to feed babies. It's natural, it's what was meant to be. Breast is best, the rest just need to get over it.
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Monday 29 June
By Billy
I hear ya... being a male, i don't mind seeing it... hey, no need to cover up! lol... maybe that's the pervert in me talking here. But seriously, you are so right.. the baby is eating too! I don't eat in the bathroom, so why should they.
Monday 10 August
By cathey fisher
Even though, I myself don't believe in breast feeding with all the breast pumps, etc. available why do some deem it necessary to do that in public. I think it's ridiculous. They did that in the olden days!
Tuesday 11 August
By shanna sorto
To the person with the comment about pumping , you need to understand that taking baby to breast is vital because when the babies saliva inters into the nipple pores it tells the mothers body what to protect her baby against, we as humans make live antibodies for our off springs, and a pump will give some but not all needed to protect your baby, taking baby to breast is a vital part, and we as my oldest of 6 exclusively breast fed children, Dustin, said all women have breast and all men have seen them they are for the babies and they are not sexual, he is now 19 and married and has a 6month old daughter her is breast fed.
Monday 29 June
By Karen Power
How can I send this article to my e-mail?
Thanks,
Karen CD(DONA)
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Monday 29 June
By Kelly Littleton
Thank you so much for this article! I'm a first time mom of a two week old and am finding this whole breastfeeding debacle very frustrating. Not only the idea of juggling trying to do what everyone tells me is the best thing for my child, while facing going back to school in two months, but also that I haven't been very successful at producing much milk so far. As a result, I begin to feel like I'm failing at something that seems to come easily to other women. I would love to see more articles on this topic. It'd be a big help and comfort to know I'm not alone.
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Tuesday 30 June
By Kim Williamson
Hi Kelly,
Congrats on your new baby! I had so many frustrating moments when I had my first child and was trying to breast feed him. I was ready to give up when some friends of mine encouraged me to keep trying. I found it very hard and because I was stressed about whether I was giving my baby enough or doing it right, or whatever. I probably didn't produce as much milk as I did when I finally calmed down, stopped worrying and let it happen. Once I was able to do that, the whole nursing experience was so very rewarding, both emotionally and obviously beneficial healthwise to my baby. Nursing him actually got to the point that I felt so relaxed while he was feeding that I looked forward to each time! Believe me, I felt the same thing you mentioned, I wondered why in the world this was so hard when it was so easy for other women. Sadly, those feelings can escalate to where I was feeling like I had no business even being a mom. Boy, was I wrong! I nursed both my babies for 14 months and actually wish I had gone longer. It's a beautiful thing nursing our babies, nourishing their little bodies and bonding with them like nobody else possibly can. I'm so disappointed the society makes the act out to be something disgusting!
Keep trying, but keep in mind, if for some reason, it doesn't work out for you, babies can thrive and you can still have bonding with bottle fed formula.
Enjoy your baby , it's hard being a new mom, no doubt. Nobody can ever prepare us for the role, we just struggle through and hopefully take bits and pieces of advice from others who've been there that will help us through!
Sincerest wishes,
Kim
Monday 06 July
By Trish
Kelly, please don't feel like a failure. I tried in vain to nurse my son but ultimately, no matter what I did, I just didn't produce enough milk. I SO wanted to nurse but my body just would not do it. When I tried to talk about my problem with others, I got a ton of propaganda back. Just do whatever feels right for you and helps you bond with your little one.
Friday 17 July
By Susan
Hey Kelly,
I found that drinking more fluids (water, milk, juice, lemonade) not so much pop and caffeine, helped increase my milk flow. Also, after my baby was done I pumped each breast another 5-10 min each. Your body will increase milk production as the milk is used. The longer the baby nurses the higher the fat content becomes which is why they become full and often fall asleep. Also for help look on line or call the hospital for the local Le' Leche league(sp?). is an organization that promotes breast feeding and is a resource for new breast feeding moms. They consulted me at the hospital and were available later as well.
Relax and remember how great it is for you and your baby. It actually lowers your risk of breast cancer if nursing for at least 6 months. Hang in there!
Sunday 16 August
By Lynnie
Kelly,
Hang in there, girl! I was a full-time nursing student when I had my first son, and had to be back in school a meer two weeks after I had him. It was tough, but I did it. I went straight from full time student to full time working. He never got formula, I'm proud to say. My new baby is almost 8 months old now, and I've had to suppliment with formula on maybe 5 occasions (he's got a HUGE appetite!) Drink a lot of water and the hops in non-alcoholic beer and the herb fenugreek both help boost production. The pump doesn't feel very good, but I made my peace with it for the baby's sake. If you want to keep breastfeeding after you go back to school, you'll need to start building your stockpile about three weeks before you go back.
I hope I've helped you with this. Bless you and your little one.
Sunday 23 August
By Jeanette
Hang in there-no pun intended! See if you can find a chapter of La Leche League, a mom-to-mom breastfeeding support system. They'll help and encourage you. Yes, our society says breastfeeding is healthy, but they sure don't make it easy. I nursed my babies in church, restaurants, malls, you name it. Mostly, people didn't even know what I was doing.
Friday 11 September
By Allison
Its not easy to learn but its worth the effort and agony of getting the hang of it. I love breastfeeding and was so committed that I solely pumped for 6 months when my first child wouldn't latch to save my life. It just didn't work for us. I was so nuts about breastfeeding and my failure that I became deeply depressed. This time around, with my second, it was hard and i was constantly overthinking it because my experience was so different the first time. Only you know what's best and if you're a wreck about breastfeeding then it may not be the best.
If you can ride it out, it does get easier. It'll become self serve and all you'll have to do is sit there. Its a learning experience and it is NOT naturally done...its learned. Join a mom's group...another breastfeeding mom who knows your pain and tears is monumental for your sanity and being able to decipher whats best for you and your baby.
Friday 03 July
By Mommysan
Yes! We absolutely need all of these things! The worst "nursing station" I have ever been to happened to also be the urine smeared restroom at a Babies-R-Us. How ironic is that?
On a different note, it's refreshing to read a "pro-mom" contribution on Lemondrop given that they have featured vacuous dribble about how babies and mothers are terrible human beings...all while posing as sexually empowered hipsters. (yea, whatever)
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Saturday 04 July
By S
A mother has to do what a mom has to do. If a baby needs to eat a mom/parent would do whatever it takes to make sure that child is fed. I don't think mom's in particular feel fully comfortable with showing their boob in public so leave them alone and especially let the baby eat. If you don't like it then don't watch. The baby deserves to live and eat. It's natural and apart of life. It's nothing out of the ordinary.
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Wednesday 08 July
By Michelle @doudoubebe
I always find it interesting when we talk about pumping and nursing in public that it seems like this huge accomodation that public spaces need to make. With pumping, a big piece of the puzzle isn't so much about having space for pumping, but rather why it's so routine for moms to be separated from their nursing babies for long enough that they need to pump. Humane maternity leave policies are a huge piece of that, but also people's expectations about babes in arms being a package deal with their mom.
The flip side of that is that baby care (of any kind) often requires a quiet space - many mothers can and do easily nurse in any public space, but some babies 9and some moms) need quiet. And that's not something anyone should have to find on the bathroom floor - whether it's changing a diaper, rocking to sleep or nursing.
Keep at the fight, mamas! The babies you nurse today will nurse your grandbabies in dignity and comfort for your efforts.
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Sunday 12 July
By Janie
I was able to nurse my first born but for my body decided to not let me do so with my second. I nursed my oldest whenever he was hungry regardless of where I was. We were always well covered and most of the time it appeared as if I was just shielding him from view. I was only confronted twice. Once in a baby store, which I thought was really silly being as I was the only customer at that time and the cashier who confronted me stayed mostly behind the counter on the phone, and once at a toys r us because I refused to nurse in a disgusting restroom or my car because it was mid-summer and the temp was close to 100. I nevered found myself in need of pumping in public but Im sure I would've been the same way as I was when my son was with me-it needs to be done, so be it. If anyone viewed a possible sliver of my naked breast as sexual enticement, that was their issue, not mine. BTW, my oldest is a leg man and my youngest, before he had his first child, was and still is a breast man. only now he views a womans breast in a much higher regard.
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Thursday 16 July
By ani
Thanks for pointing all this out! I think it's because we live in such a SEX-focused culture; so media-saturated with womens' bodies being relegated to sex object roles, that we've become incapable of seeing women's breasts without thinking it's something taboo. It's ridiculous how our warped perceptions conlict with nature's design. In countries of the world where women are treated as PEOPLE, they just don't make a big deal out of nursing in public. Why do we here in the U.S.?
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Saturday 25 July
By Chrissy
Breastfeeding is much easier when you are a PHILLIES PHAN!!! Ahhh, my baby will be able to tase world-champion breastmilk... ROCK ON!! LOL sorry, couldn't resist... I'm 33 weeks along expecting my first baby, and I plan on breastfeeding for as long as I possibly can. It's truly unfortunate that being a mommy is more inconveniant than ever these days. The way they treat us during our pregnancies, with all the tests and such, you'd think the human race was going extinct 200 years ago... But as soon as that baby's out, that's it, BACK TO WORK WOMAN! Baby be damnned! I'm truly blessed to have a job and a boss that's willing to offer me flexible hours. But that's just far too rare these days. This society really needs some enlightening, or else we're all in big trouble... and this is just one tiny aspect.
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Monday 10 August
By ozzimoon
Working at Little Ceasar's pizza there wasn't much place for pumping. I had to go into the mop room but the door had to be cracked open for the cord of the pump. I was even allowed to leave the bottles in the walk-in cooler as long as they were in a bag. I never ever got any flack for it, really. My managers and even their bosses were totally fine with me having to go back to the mop room every few hours. One manager even said she would stand up for me if anyone did try to prevent me from pumping, like they did to her years before.
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Monday 10 August
By Frances Schneider
I am 91 years old and had eleven children--two pair of twins. If you think the idea of breast feeding was accepted then, it was not. I was an an acronym Hardly anyone was nursing. The Dr. would tell the women after the delivery that their baby was not getting enough milk. They would feed the babies in the nusery with formula between feedings so the babies would come in to the rooms to the mothers drowsy and fed. I insisted that I had milk, and my Dr. listened to me. I think he was not being subsidized by some formula company. One time my brother came to visit and I was nursing my baby in my own living room. His son was about eleven years old and my sibling had the nerve to tell me I should not be nursing my baby in public, he did not want his son to witness it.
So some things never change. i say more power to you. A blanket to cover the baby's head certainly takes care of the modesty issue. I didn't think it was still a problem. Babies were meant to be fed by their mothers..
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