116 Comments   
Two days after I arrived in New York, Steve and I were married in a ceremony that didn't last more than 10 minutes. It was just us and a close friend of Steve's, who stood as our witness. I wore a cute new top and pants, and Steve had jeans on. After the ceremony we went home and spent the day "honeymooning." We ate a romantic dinner at a swank Italian restaurant, and we talked and talked, about our quirks, desires, hang-ups, everything. Although we still had years to get to know each other, I was already very much in love with Steve.

Finally, a Citizen
A few days after the wedding, I wanted to start establishing myself, so I got a waitressing job at an upscale Russian restaurant near our apartment. I had no prior restaurant experience, and it showed. I was fired the next week. Soon, though, I met a well-known fashion designer who lived near me and whom I ended up assisting with public relations and styling. I immersed myself in the fashion industry by studying magazines and memorizing all of the big designer trends. Through that job, I made new friends and began to feel more situated. I was excited to be meeting people on my own.

As my English improved, I launched my blog, Fashion Addict Diary, which soon became more popular than I expected -- it eventually got about 10,000 hits a day. It was called "the best online read" by Elle magazine in the United Kingdom, and was covered by the New York Times' Fashion & Style section. This wasn't about Steve; it was all me, and I relished that. I feel that my accomplishments, independent from Steve, have truly made me an American, although legally I didn't become a citizen until this year.

I also returned to school, at the City University of New York, and got my bachelor's degree. When I graduated, Steve was in the auditorium. We locked eyes and I felt so loved -- and in awe. Steve had been my emotional support through school. When I had to concentrate on my studies, I didn't have to worry, Am I being a good wife? He always respected my decision to finish my degree, and never made me feel indebted to him for helping me with my tuition. It was just understood that this is what partners do.

My one regret is that I don't feel as close to my family as I'd like. I didn't see my mother for five years. Last November I flew to Russia, without Steve, and met her in Moscow. We bickered about little things, like the fact that I never learned to sew, and about bigger things, like the fact that I don't want children yet. But in my family, we rarely if ever speak about our feelings, so just sitting down and talking with my mother was a start. Although my childhood was not easy, I credit her for the strength and independence that I have in my adulthood. And while she never flat out said, "I am proud of you," I could tell my mother was amazed to see how well I was doing.

Sometimes, six years later, I still have to explain and defend my marriage to people who assume that I am unhappy or trapped. An American friend once teased me for being with an older man. She was always saying, "Lera, you would have so much fun dating in New York!" even though she was in a dysfunctional relationship with a man in his late 20s. I told her I wasn't envious of anyone's single life.

Maybe there will always be people who question the validity of our bond. To them, I say, "It's real, it's there! Till death do us part." I believe that it's not so much how you get married but what you make of your marriage that matters. Like most couples, we have overcome difficult times and have had our fair share of battles (about closet space, most recently!). And, yes, it can be stressful being so far from my family and adapting to a new culture. But I know Steve will always be there for me, and I hope he can say the same about me. I didn't expect to find love when I signed up with that agency, but I did. I feel very, very lucky.

-As told to Jessica Pilot



Related Links from Glamour.com
9 Things He Wishes You'd Do on a Date

The Truth Behind What Men Say

10 Things He's Thinking When You're Naked