5 Comments   
The online service I used had thousands of subscribers, but after browsing the site, I couldn't fathom sleeping with -- let alone marrying -- the vast majority of the American men. They weren't only physically unappealing (grandfatherly old, overweight); their profiles offended me. Most were blatant about wanting a stereotypical submissive wife. One guy said he was looking for a Ukrainian girl so that he "could be taken care of in the bedroom." Others sent one-line messages that just asked for my measurements. Disgusted, I'd think to myself, These guys have no shame.

After a few days of glum browsing, I came upon a profile of a music producer and art collector from New York City. Sporting dark sunglasses and hip clothing, this guy stood out. He seemed like someone out of a rock band. (Later, I found out that he once did play in a band.) I instantly sent him a message:

"Hi, I am a college student from Ukraine. I am studying communications and taking English classes so that I can work in America. I have never used the Internet to meet people, but you look interesting -- and attractive, might I add. :) Were you in New York during 9/11? I was so shocked to hear the news. I will send pictures if you write back. Thanks, Valeriya."

Almost immediately, I got this back from him: "I have a few years on you, girl ... You know that, right? What are the chances this could work long term? I have been married before and am looking for commitment. Steve."

I replied: "Listen, I know it's silly, but I'm 100 percent serious ... "

In the weeks after that exchange, we spent hours and hours chatting online. The highlight of my day was checking to see whether he'd replied to my last e-mail -- he always had. I worked so hard to impress him with my English vocabulary and American cultural references. (I didn't always succeed, however. Ricky Martin was the only Western singer who was "hot" in Ukraine then, but Steve sweetly informed me that he wasn't exactly the coolest musician in the States.) I guess I was surprised that I had actually found a guy who seemed cultured and witty. I liked that Steve had personality. And he seemed serious about wanting to find a wife. The more we communicated, the more eager I was to meet face-to-face.

About two months after our first e-mail exchange, Steve booked a flight to Ukraine. I met him at the airport in Kiev, the capital. I wore the only outfit I owned at the time that seemed suitable for a "date": an orange alpaca coat, a pencil skirt and boots. Taking the nine-hour train trip from my hometown to meet a stranger from another country felt bizarre. But when Steve walked up to me and we embraced, it felt right.

We went to a cafe and talked. At first I was anxious, as if it were a job interview. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing. But as we spoke, my anxiety faded. Steve said I seemed like a New Yorker, which I took as a compliment. Though we had 23 years between us, our age gap didn't bother me. Steve looks younger than he is, and is very stylish. He's also a great listener, and he asked me about everything, from my family to being a foreign-exchange student to what it would be like if I left Ukraine.

(Click Next to read the rest of Lera's story.)



Related Links from Glamour.com
9 Things He Wishes You'd Do on a Date

The Truth Behind What Men Say

10 Things He's Thinking When You're Naked