Lemondrop

People just released its annual list of most eligible bachelors, topped by youthful heartthrobs Chace Crawford, Robert Pattinson and Shia LaBeouf. (P.S. -- #6, nice choice!)

But not all celebrities are fit for romantic consumption. Here, as a public service: the stars we wouldn't let our friends date:

Bret Michaels He says he's ready to settle down, but his choices on "Rock of Love" suggest crippling commitmentphobia. That Tonys-performance head injury is unlikely to help the condition.
Jon Gosselin Update: He may not be single yet -- technically -- but sources say he's well on his way. And while every new relationship comes with some baggage, 10 years with an emasculating ex-wife plus eight kids is more than you (or anyone) need right now.

Click here to see the rest after the jump.

Chris Brown C'mon.
Tucker Max Sometimes you hook up with a guy and something embarrassing happens and you pray he doesn't tell his friends about it. If that guy is Tucker Max, he writes a book about it and gets a movie deal and gets played by Logan from "Gilmore Girls." Look, when a guy's blog starts with "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an a$@hole," you know what you're getting into.
Phil Spector We've had some bad first dates in our day, but none of them ever ended with the guy shooting us.
Brian Austin Green Life sucks when you find out that your guy's last girlfriend was a mega-hottie. So dating Megan Fox's ex seems like a no-win for anyone short of Angelina. Add that to the fact that Green and Fox are reportedly more on-again off-again than a clean split, and you've got a one-way ticket to self-loathingville.
Alex Rodriguez As if serially dating blondes -- some reportedly while he was still married -- wasn't enough of a turnoff, the skanky Yankee's reported steroid past shrivels the rest of our, uh, desire.
Zach Galifianakis We don't actually know much about the Big New Star's personal life, but we've been burned before by these cuddly, wacky, funny-guy underdogs. They seem like they'd be grateful for the female attention, but usually wind up being the angriest, bitterest, drunkest, most entitled little toolboxes out there. Just saying.
Jake Goodrich Act now, ladies, but don't get too attached to that naked ring finger -- after tomorrow, Lemondrop's Product Manager is officially off the market. Congratulations, Jake!
Tell us! What celebs belong on the Least Eligible Bachelors list? Leave a comment to let us know.