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Henry Pergament was a businessman, entrepreneur and chemistry genius. By the time I was born, he'd raised several fortunes and had two families and half a dozen children in and out of wedlock. I have memories from my childhood that I wish I didn't: One night when I was about 10, I was at dinner with my sister, my father and his friend Mike. I overheard my dad say, "What have I been up to? What men are up to when they're not with their wives."
Daily life in my family found my sisters, my mother and me running around the house like it was a disrupted anthill, my father somewhere off-screen. He worked hard and was often in absentia. But as I started to understand the adult world in increments, I wondered: Was he with another woman when he could be home teaching me to take a picture/drive a stick shift/make potato pancakes?
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Saturday 13 June
By John
"Love the one your with" Is not a bad thing to be a mother f**ker I take it with a smille!
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Thursday 11 June
By sarasmama
GAWWWWWWWWWWD!!!! I've never seen so many self-righteous people on this site! Geez!!!
Thursday 11 June
By Casualyurs
What Women and Men really need to think about before they cheat on their significant others, whether it's a boyfriend or husband, is the news that is reported in society quite frequently. Women in particular, need to understand the "nature" of the Male instinct. The Male instinct of course goes back into prehistoric times. This is not rocket science people!!! Wake up!!.. Even though Laws have been passed over the ages to imprison people for certain things such as asault, murder... etc... what society seems to forget is that the Male "instinct" is natural and get this WILL NEVER CHANGE !!!! Why? Because it's Male nature. This is why there are murders, and murder suicides when a woman cheats on her husband, or boyfriend. Quite simply ladies, you just don't do it. The thought of going to prison for a crime like this does in fact impact the decision of some men to take action when his partner cheats on him however, there are many men who will not be influenced by it at all. When you are promised to a man, you simply DO NOT CHEAT, if you don't want hell to strike. You get out of the relationshiip first, be it by breaking up with the boyfriend, or getting a divorce if the marriage isn't working. Then and only then!!!!!!!.. is when you can venture out with other men. The nature instinct of the male to become violent when his female partner cheats on him, WILL NEVER GO AWAY!!!!. I cannot stress that enough. You ladies really need to think about this before hand, Especially if there are children in the picture because if the male doesn't commit murder suicide, you'll end up with children that are being raised by another family member or become wards of the state while their father is serviing time in prison for murder. Notice at the beginning, I did mention "Men" as well as "Women". Quite simply because this does go both ways... however from all of the news stories I've heard in my life, I don't recall any stories about women comminting violence like that, it was always the Man however, it still isn't right for the Man to cheat either. You need to do the same thing and get out of the relationship first, before you venture out with other women. So it does go both ways. I'm a male that's why this is written from my point of view, but it does go both ways. The bottom line is that what law makers need to understand is that YOU CANNOT CHANGE NATURE, AND AS LONG AS NATURE IS WHAT IT IS THERE WILL ALWAYS BE CRIMES LIKE THIS UNTIL THE END OF TIME as long as people cheat. Watch the news, and I'm sure that you'll see stories like this creep up from time to time. It's sad, but it's life.
Casualyurs
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Tuesday 16 June
By joey
Cheating has never been an acceptable behavior by anyone. Yes, it is hurtful and painful to know your boyfriend/girlfriend had sex with another person.
However, last time I checked, God had created mankind with an unmeasurable weakness regardless whether it's the president of the United States, kings, queens, or the poorest of the poor because we are flesh, says God. Even though it must not be used as a reason to justify cheating, but everybody is subjected to the temptation and only the strongest ones can overcome this powerful desire.
There is cheating and there is adultery, and whether you agree or not, the 2 are not the same. Adultery is committed in a marriage and it is a capital sin condemned by the bible. Somebody who is in a regular relationship whether being engaged or just dating, and decided to have sex with another person, is cheating and it is not a capital sin. Though I would agree that people who cheat on their boyfriends/girlfriends have damaged their character and made hard to be trusted again, but there is no reason for condemnation there.
Unless, someone is married, I think anyone who is dating still has full rights to sleep with whomever else he/she chooses to, and there shouldn't be no reason for violence upon the cheater. The sense of "ownership" tends to make people feel the need to kill, to physically harm, or to use any other form of violence on a partner who cheated on them.
Personally, if this is a person that I really loved, liked, and cared for, I would have the courage to just walk away with my little heart broken in pieces, all hurt and painful instead causing her any harm.
Rejection has never been a good think for anyone, but like everything else, a person has the rights to change his/her mind about a relationship/marriage anytime he/she wants too, and that's what cheating and adultery means. It means that the person has changed his/her mind or has second thought about the relationship/marriage.
Those of you who are already married, don't be too quick to judge other people's relationships misfortunes. Even though you are married, you still can be committing adultery with not only other people, but with your own spouses. How could that be possible? You may ask! simple, understand that marriage was not created by the United States government but by God himself. According to Luke gospel in the bible, God says anyone who is divorced and gets remarried is committing adultery as long as the ex-spouse is still alive.
So, those of you out there who are on your 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, marriages are, indeed, committing adultery and are living in adultery if your ex-spouses are still alive.
Thursday 11 June
By memo
this seems pretty one-sided you're blaming men for all the violence when women can't harm the men but they do find ways to get him back!!
Sunday 14 June
By Vanessa
I can't stand reading comments like this! Why is it that women always have to be put down and blamed? Why don't we tell the freking bitches(men) to stop cheating? You are so freaking ignorant!
Monday 03 August
By s
We don't' need top go to the extreme of killing people over cheating in their marriages. People do make mistakes. We are human. Do not judge others unless you are in their shoes. You are not perfect whether or not you've cheated on someone or not so don't talk about other people.
Thursday 11 June
By Bob
The problem with most cheaters is immaturity. They lack the willingness to stay a way from the "candy bowl". The funney thing is by the time you reach my age you realize that in relationships everything is about give and take and responsibility. You can be happy in a "gilded cage" as one cheater refered to her marriage.
I personally have known people who had great relationships with a commented spouse who would do anything for them. The problem with cheaters is that they want just a little more like a gambler who bets it all on just one more pass of the dice. The risk, the entensity. The awful truth is that this vanishes once they lose their spouse.
I watched a family friend have an affair with another person just to spice things up. The end result was they lost their spouse, their kids, and the world collapsed for them.
The person they cheated with wanted to get married, but once they actually had to deal with this person they found them to be nothing like what the entense relatioship had been like.
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Friday 12 June
By Norman
I am sure there are many stories here about cheating on one's spouse. To add to the pile I will provide mine.
For many year cheating was not in the cards, but a situation developed in our relationship which caused the largest challenge to our relationship. At the time we were approaching nearly 30 years together.
Under a great deal of stress at the time, our physician put her on a drug called zoloft. The effects of this drug were horrible. She lost all her sex drive. No desire, no passion, no nothing. I would often beg her to change, and attempt just about anything to get her to change.
At the time, at work, my job was given a dramatic change. I was put on a job that kept me on the road for 3 weeks of every month. After a while I would find myself running into ladies with the same situation. On the road, with expenses paid, it was easy to make the change. The "cheating" part was not something that I really considered. To me it was RELIEF. Finding a person to make me feel like a man again. Also, to further exacerbate the situation I was begining to get the long term effects of Diabetes, mainly erectile dysfunction. So it was not fun for me at all.
Then along comes Viagra. On my trips with this little blue pill I was suddenly 19 years old again. My life continued for many years this way. My wife appeared to be locked in her problem, so it became my best option.
There were about 4 ladies involved in this with me. Most at different times, in areas away from home. I usually avoided close to home relationships to assure no potential contact with the indivduals involved.
I knew one day my wife would find out, which she did about a year ago. We spent a lot of time in counseling to rebuild our relationship. 'To separate is not in our future. We both understand that we are soulmates, and our relationship is better when together. But that is our situation. It is not everyone's.
This is my simple revew of this situation, explained in the best that I can. I do not suggest this to anyone else. It is something that happened to me. Thank you.
Norman
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Thursday 11 June
By JB
Thank you for your honesty and I hope all the best for both of you.
J
Thursday 11 June
By Teddy & Wilson
Norman Norman Norman ........ Oh Woe is me, Norman.
Someone once said, "If you tell a lie often enough and long enough, after awhile you begin to believe your lie is the truth." I'm sure you have gone over your story with relatives, friends, the four women you had your affairs with, even strangers. And now the World Wide Web? Man you're one for the books. Do you honestly believe your story justifies your blemishing a 30 year marriage/relationship? Not only are you a sorry excuse for a man, but you are a pathetic liar on top of being a stinking cheat. And chances are if you possess any of those undesirable characteristics, you possess others as well.
"The doctor presribed Zoloft." "I begged her to change" ... "my erectile dysfunction" .... "it was not fun for me at all." "And then along comes Viagra."
Well 'VIVA VIAGRA'! Please Norman, shut the hell up. People like you represent everything in this world that totally disgusts me. Were you not listening when your doctor mentioned the side effects of the prescription medicine Zoloft? Just in case anyone hasn't mentioned this to you yet, stop telling your story because the more you try to hide the truth behind your lies, the more obvious you become. Anyone can see that you're just making up excuses so as not to be held accountable for your actions. And to think that your poor wife put up with your BS for 30 years. Could it be possible that she might have been misdiagnosed by the doctors (it happens). And just maybe it wasn't the prescription drug Zoloft that she needed, but maybe something else like an over the counter drug like Preperation H (for that obvious pain in the derriere, YOU). Prep H would probably have been the ticket, or better yet ... a much needed vacation away from you and your pathetic lies. Noman, just a couple of questions ... you sorry excuse for a man. You mentioned counseling. Why was this an option AFTER the fact? At the very first sign of 'Trouble In Paradise' why wasn't professional counseling given any consideration at that point? I know why! Your wife knows why! You know why! And here's something, Norman .... SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! GIVE IT UP! Stop lying to yourself, to your wife, your family, her family, your friends, her friends, and to everyone else! It's not cool. I can only hope that you and your wife haven't produced any offspring with each other. Excluding your wife (God bless her heart), people like YOU should not be allowed to contaminate this world we live in! You make me sick. I'm closing here because I'm starting to taste my own vomit.
Thursday 11 June
By Captain Obvious
Why does everyone think men are the real cheaters. When a woman cheats, she will usually try blame a man (Her husband, boyfriend, lover, father). I got news for you people. Women are more inclined to cheat than men these days. We want to believe that men are to blame and women are the victims due to old stereo types that date back to the days when women didn't have as much freedom. In those days the simply didn't to get the opportunity to cheat.
Are cheaters bad people. The answer is "yes". They are inherently selfish, and dishonest. They risk hurting someone they supposedly love in a way that has been major cause of murder, war, and suicide throughout human history.
If you cheat, whether you are a man or a woman, there is no excuse for it. Take a good look in the mirror and admit it. You are a dishonest, selfish, "bad" person.
Reply
Monday 03 August
By s
Woman I wouldn't say are more likely to cheat these days. Yes, it is becoming more popular with women cheating on men. Not that it is acceptable behavior but women are sick of being treated with double standards and just sick of men period. Guys are always given excuses for whatever stupid behavior they have but if a woman does anything she's a whore. Whatever with that. It's just a messed up world right now and I feel bad for people who give excuses for poor behaviors such as cheating because you're just a lost person. When people cheat it's not always because they are selfish some people are weak and don't even love themselves to consider to love someone else. There are a lot of factors and every situation is different.
Thursday 11 June
By avwag
I have done my share, and had it done to me. It is not worth it. You know the grass is greener on the other side. It's BS. If you have a good woman, Learn to keep your zipper up, except when your with your spouse. I know the temtation all to well but once the trust is broken things are NEVER the same!
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Thursday 11 June
By Denise
I don't consider a boyfriend as a significane other. I believe in being true o your spouse. As in any relationship, communication is key. If you already know you are subject to this type of behavior, the other needs to know from the beginning. Some boyfriends or girlfriends are actually ok with it
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Thursday 11 June
By John
WOW, this world is truly going to hell in a hand basket. If you can't be faithful then stay single, why should you (male or female) have the "security" of a relationship if you can't sincerely give it? Think of someone other than yourself, it's not that hard.
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Thursday 11 June
By Iris
I agree with your comments, but unfortunately NOT everyone is smart enough to stay single to be with anyone they want when they wnat it and as a consequence people get hurts...
Thursday 11 June
By Gene
Why not just call yourself polyamorous and be done with it? I too cheated often until I realized that I simply wasn't happy with only one partner. Now we're all open and honest about it and as long as everyone knows and accepts, it's not cheating.
Talk about feeling like a large sack of manure has been removed from around your neck!
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Thursday 11 June
By Anon9001
Cheating is wrong whether it's your boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance, or husband/wife. People need to understand that a commitment is supposed to mean that your committed to your relationship with the other person. People who cheat are people I consider to be lacking in willpower and empathy. They're selfish and so busy doing what makes them feel good they never stop to think about the person on the other end (except occasionally). I personally think that people who risk good relationships because of their own lack of will are pathetic.
Monday 03 August
By s
LOL