So the hirsute hottie who just stripped down has more fur than Robin Williams' shower? Fortunately for us dudes, 75 percent of women dig a furry chest
, but we understand you can be taken aback.
If his animal magnetism (and animal pelt) is making you purr, just be sure not to utter one of these ego-shriveling lines. Things could get -- wait for it -- keep waiting -- hairy. Zing!10. "You're like a big teddy bear!"
Does that mean we get to sleep in your bed tonight? 9. "I like hairy guys."
We appreciate the honesty but, if a guy is self-conscious about his full-body bristle, you'll only amplify his anxiety by calling it out. 8. "You should wax/shave/pluck!"
So should you. And you do. And it's a pain in the ass, right? Why would we subject ourselves to that sort of pain and upkeep when we can watch you do it instead? 7. "I can tell you're a real man."
Or, that we're over age 11, the average age at which puberty starts for boys. Click here
to read the top six after the jump.6. "I like a man to be his natural self!"
Careful what you say -- lest the belching begin in T-minus ...5. "Your chest looks like my dad's."
Is your dad Burt Reynolds? If so, thanks for the greatest compliment we'll ever receive. If not, it's a comparison best left unmentioned. 4. "At least you won't have to worry about going bald."
Actually, androgenic alopecia, or "male pattern baldness
," is caused by a number of factors including (but not limited to) iron deficiency, infections, heredity, and constant forceful pulling of the hair. The relationship between thickets of chest hair and a shiny dome is pretty weak -- unless it involves the shaving of the chest and gluing the remnants to the head. 3. "How do you clean it?"
Like a housecat: by licking our hands and combing it down. 2. "You look like a '70s porn star!"
We're just gonna assume that you meant we're 90 percent wiener and -- hey, wait -- does that mean your dad was a '70s porn star? (see above)1. "Can I touch it?"
Sure. But, let's wait until we're at a point in the relationship where you can just drape your arm across our chests without asking. Requesting permission implies an element of sideshow freak or medical oddity.
Our Anonymous Guy Writer
often doles out useful advice for Lemondrop and other lady sites.