Yesterday, my "adorable science" newsfeed let me know that research has shown that some varieties of sharks like to be picked up and cuddled. Zebra sharks, or as I like to call them, the "kittens of the sea," even roll over to have their tummies rubbed!Of course, it comes as no surprise that sharks are cuddly -- just try to tell me that guy on the left isn't begging to have a pair of arms wrapped around his dorsal fins.
I would never let a little thing like 100 human fatalities a year detract from a species' cuddle potential. After the jump, check out the most dangerous animals that probably really just need a hug.

Polar Bears: Intellectually, I know that these polar bears are the largest carnivores on land, who breakfast on baby seals and would maul me for some week-old Fig Newtons I accidentally left in my backpack, but when I see a picture like the one on the left I'm still all, "Awww, look at that little guy playing with a ball!" I'm gonna cuddle polar bears while I still have arms left to do it with.

Chimpanzees: We all became pretty well-acquainted with the chimp's capacity to inflict damage when Travis the chimp went on a well-publicized rampage earlier this year. Still, I'd rather rip my own face off than live in a world where I can't cuddle chimps. He could turn that canvas around and show me a painting of my own funeral and I'd still be like, "Overalls! That's freakin' adorable."

Lions: Drinking from a bottle, lions? That's not fair. I'm-a cuddle you and blame those 800 fatalities a year on that jerk Tiger.

Hippos: People always wanna hate on my man hippo, like "Oh did you know that hippos are actually really dangerous?" To them I would say, "Do you see that birthday hat?" No one who has ever seen a hippo butt could let that gaping jaw and its sledgehammer strength stop them from hopping on the cuddle train.

Slow Loris: The first time I saw the slow loris getting tickled my reaction was something along the lines of "OH NOOHNOOHNO" right before I passed out from cuteness. So if you think I'm gonna let a little venomous toxin stop me from getting this dude wrapped around my finger, you've got another thing coming.

Dingo: Oh, hey, little dingo. You look just like a precious little puppy, yes you do, yes you do! You eat babies? Well, I find that hard to reconcile with my image of you as a fluffy little snugglepuff, but we can move on from this. I am gonna spank you with my lips!
What other potentially harmful creatures do you want to cuddle so hard?












Comments:
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Friday 05 June
By lcj
I feel the need to snuggle with a koala bear every time I see one of those adorable little eucalyptus munchers--claws and unprdeictable temper be damned!
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Thursday 04 June
By Caitlin
Pandas, hands down, I kind of want to just squeeze them!!!!
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Thursday 11 June
By jake
why are monkeys so funny
Wednesday 10 June
By "Nature Boy 007'
Baby Lions, Tigers, Bob Cats, Panthers, Cougars, Jaguars and Cheetas are the most adorable animals in the world. Dressing them in athletic wear makes them even more adorable.
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Wednesday 10 June
By maria
i lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv baby pandas and lions they are 2 cutttttteeeeeeee
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Wednesday 10 June
By kelly
Ocelots!!!
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Tuesday 23 June
By Ilias
When you said you wanna hug an ocelot, is that because you got it from "Revolver Ocelot" from the game Metal Gear Solid? If not, and you don't even know what I'm talking about, my apologies, it's just that noone I know even knows what an Ocelot is unless they played the game (abbreviated MGS).
Wednesday 10 June
By lecatta
Wolves...I LOVE wolves...and coyotes, and foxes...and of course Dingo's and baby wild cats...I let a panther cub chew on me once, it was the cutest thing ever.
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Wednesday 10 June
By Tarri
OMG I LOVE ALL BABY ANIMALS
baby fennec foxes
baby cougars
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Thursday 11 June
By thenoirclown
OMG, I LOOOOOOOVE lemurs!!! They're so smart & agile & cute & CUDDLY... What I wouldn't give to cuddle a cute, little baby lemur... and get my throat & torso slashed- up by those adorable little claws! Awwwwwww!!!
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Thursday 11 June
By ELAINE
Wish they showed baby tigers. I love them best of all. Though my favorite animals are the big cats, polar bears, pandas and koalas. Most baby animals are sssoooo cuddly.
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Thursday 11 June
By peter
HEY give credit where credit is due . . . that "spank you with my lips" line was stolen from Bob Odenkirk and David Cross on their show "Mr. Show" when it turned out that the evil wizard in control of their show was just their wayward little kitten . . .PLAGIARISM!!!!
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Thursday 11 June
By Sumi
The chimp comment was insensitive. Poor woman.
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Thursday 11 June
By Felicia
Red Pandas! Sure, they have the face of a raccoon (which scare the living bejesus out of me) but they just look cuddly!
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Thursday 11 June
By Felicia
Red Pandas. Sure, they have the face of a raccoon (which scare the living bejesus out of me) but they just look so cuddly!
Reply
Thursday 11 June
By Nicole L
lol this was too funny cuz its so true
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Thursday 11 June
By a
Nothing like a good mauling to kiss and cuddle a polar bear or lion cub!
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Thursday 11 June
By jake
why are monkeys so funny
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Thursday 11 June
By Emiry
A tiger. I know it'd rip my face off for funsies, but ever since "Aladdin" I've wanted to cuddle up with one. See what Disney teaches children these days?
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Thursday 11 June
By theresa
these animals are not harmful they attack because of what we do to their habitat!
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