'Dancing With The Stars' Crowns A New Champion
Allison Hope: A Penis And A Dress: Why The Gender Binary Needs To Go…
In response to the new HBO show "Hung," about a man with a generously sized endowment, Jezebel put together a list of 20 Famous Big D*cks.
So we've decided to celebrate the less endowed man -- the famous dudes who are rumored to have nothing going on underneath their name-brand jeans. Obviously these teeny weenies have not been verified first-hand, but we figure that even if it's not true, the guys on this list probably did something to justify the mean-spirited rumor. Enjoy!
Click here to see our list of 17 famous men with small penises after the jump.
17. Ben Affleck. He obviously wasn't judged nude when he was once named People's Sexiest Man Alive. Michael Clark Duncan, his co-star in Armageddon, had this to say: "Don't get me wrong, ladies, Ben is cool, but I've seen the guy naked ... and c'mon, man! I was not impressed at all." Ouch.
16. Shia LaBeouf. He told Playboy the first time he slept with a girl, he put a pillow underneath her to help things go, uh, a little smoother. Didn't work. "I'm not extremely well-endowed, and clearly this wasn't the move," LaBeouf recalls.
15. Enrique Iglesias. The spanish crooner had a badcase of TMI when he announced the next product he was putting his name on was extra-small condoms. Poor Anna Kournikova.
14. Colin Farrell. On his manhood, Farrell has said: "Let me tell you, it ain't nothing to f*cking write home about!"
13. Nick Lachey. Back when he was screwing Jessica Simpson, she divulged that "he didn't pack too well, if you know what I mean."
12. Johnny Knoxville. The "Jackass" maniac compared his less-than-impressive schlong to a light switch and "an egg in a nest."
11. Jude Law. The paparazzi caught the English bloke changing into his swimsuit in France, and said of his junk: "He's no Tommy Lee, that's for sure." And this is why you should always strip down in private.
Click here to see the top 10 teeny weenies.
Comments:
Add a comment
Saturday 22 August
By Michel Ellis
WE ARE NOT MADE IN THE SKIES, everyone is flawed in some way-disagree with that and you're off to a bad start.
But really, WOMEN are more materialistic and THEY ENCOURAGE THIS IN MEN. SO, a vicious cycle evolves. Women are more biologically evolved than men so why did they not choose THE MEN WHO WERE BETTER instead of the ones that GRATIFIED THEIR IDEAS OF THE GRANDIOSE?
Taste the BITTER FRUIT TODAY because YOU ALREADY CHOSE THE MEN WHO WERE MERELY MATERIAL, and there's no way back. THE ONE SIDED DIALOGUE IS YOUR BIG SUM AT THE END DUE TO THAT.
Reply
Monday 16 November
By cakudan
Opps...
Reply
Sunday 24 January
By nAPdiGGitYDawG
THIS...is hilarious! Not the article itself. The article, from my take, is simply a humorous "play on word"...(without an "s") centering on the disconnect between REPUTATION and REALITY, between the SENSUAL and the PHYSICAL, between WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE and...WHO YOU REALLY 'ARE'...(lol). Psychologically, it occurs when id "steals the keys" to super ego's Porsche.
I'm NOT particularly surprised that so many of us GUYS are a little 'sensitive' (ouch!) about you women-folk finding ANYTHING less than our absolute perfection as fodder for PUBLIC discussion. Mama thinks (thought) that I am (was) perfect..so what's WRONG with YOU? I'm not making light of the argument, but when someone starts out by blasting WOMEN...for treating "a package like a pinata " and then DENIES ANY CONNECTION TO THAT ABUSED, LITTLE PACKAGE, then you know you're to do CRAZEE. That is the phenomenon that occurs when SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION...hits the WRONG guy ! (lol)
And ...and ladies, here's some INSIDER info that you might ought to stash away for safe keeping ! You NEVER Joke About..."The Johnson" ! Not unless it is a GOOD (i.e., complementary, awe-filled, ex. a paean) joke. Take this VALUABLE GIFT into your future marriage(s) if you so choose that path...or use it as the ominous "STFU" moment /slash/ "step-off" point...if you wish to RETAIN 'said' status... I don't care HOW OFTEN you repeat it to yourselves or even to your (amused) girl friends who ain't buying it either...Just make sure that HE buys it...(lol)
Just keep teling him that his nail-gun is a Finishing HAMMER. Most of us will fold like a House of Cards if you get that backwards...even ONCE
Look, X-chromz....THAT is the ONE body-part that we...NAME, for christ-sake! WE call "him"... BigBubba, or Bruiser, or KingRichard...or, and these are by..."Seymour" or those of us who have too much free-time. (lol)....Muhammed Ali aka (The Greatest)... or Magic Johnson...or even Willie, the One-Eyed Wonder Worm...or WiltChamberlain ;-)...but NOT...Percy or Seth, or Gerald...never.
Reply
Thursday 04 February
By Peppi P
Nice post. I would to like to discuss about penis health. Man1 Man Oil restores penis health and helps prevent common penis ailments including, dry penis skin, loss of penis sensitivity, penis vein damage, penis redness and irritation and more. These frequent penis health issues often result from sexual activity, including masturbation. Man 1 Man Oil contains penis-specific Vitamins E, D, A, B5 and C as well as Alpha Lipoic Acid, L-Arginine, Acetyl L Carnitine, and Shea Butter, all of which, when applied daily, help protect and restore penile skin cells, rejuvenate penis health and increase penis sensitivity.... learn more about penis health care at: http://www.man1health.com
Reply
Friday 12 February
By Jobus
Farrell's is wrong for a start.
I've seen the tape and he's very well hung.
Reply
Sunday 07 March
By Tommie
The best way to ruin life is by using the tobacco drug. BAN TOBACCO NOW!
Reply
Sunday 21 March
By BeautysBaby
How come Lil Wayne & Ice T aren't up there ???
Reply
Tuesday 30 March
By Bigd
My penis is 5.5 in im 16 and have no problems
Reply
Saturday 07 August
By Celik
eh Im a virgin so i wouldnt really know anything but id rather have a guy with a small penis than a guy with a huge one.. Doesnt it hurt if he has a huge one?
Reply
Wednesday 29 September
By thomas devito
well i was looking for men,being a gay man with a small penis,of course until it gets hard ,i know there is smaller,but my encounter with the gay population,i say 95%of all gay men are size queens,and through my life,being considered a pretty decent looking male,who lost lots of weight,wow did i think that would help,(NOT)THEY WOULD ALWAYS COME TO ME ,wether a bar a group session,numerous places,and try everything to try to bed me!9xout of 10 i wouldnt accept,to spare the look and feel of dissapointment on there faces,funny though,i guess those who cant take a big member in the rear,love it,but would i see or hear from them again,i think not,now im 51,trying to learn how to live my life alone,it aint easy,what ever happened to ,whats inside that counts,thats the way i honestly feel,wether it be,reason,i have 5inches hard,i feel that way,but i dont think so,were are the real men,that if you dont have a 12 penis,they dont make you feel inadaquate,it's how it's used,and im so oral,by the time im done they beg me to stick it in there,ever so well eaten anus,i love it
Reply
Saturday 18 December
By Kazwell
Here's the thing ok? I gotta small penis myself and it is tough for a guy. My dad who I inherited my "manhood" from, told me "You got it tough nowadays. Back when I was younger, guys with small dicks went with ladies with small boobs, no one had the better of the other and neither had to be embarrased about their lack of what they had. Nowadays, women can make their tits as big as they want. If men could do the same with their dicks, they would."
Interesting point for sure. Were talking way back in the 40's and 50's before all the cosmetic surgery and men could be hairy without feeling embarrased. Now its considered "gross" by most women. Maybe it's payback for the centuries of women being sexualized and put down. It still doesn't make it right. Also, when these ladies are saying about the celebs dicks "He ain't well endowed" it may not mean they are small, just not huge. In some cases I guess. BTW, I saw a paparazzi photo of Brad Pitt and Gwen Paltrow, to see her ok?...Well Brad did have a small penis in the photo. Why isn't he being called out in this article. I find it inspiring he has been with so many gorgeous ladies. Proof that maybe some women aren't as superficial as men think. Besides. I have male friends who have been dumped for being too big (ex girlfriends complained of the pain associated- no lie) Now howabout that for turnaround?
Reply
Friday 21 January
By Kiki Keller
Yes, size matters, but not as much as you think. #1 was small and I wanted him so much. he wasn't into romance, it was a job to get done. #2 was well endowed but believed it was his job to use it all. It wasn't comfortable. He was a penny pincher who didn't hesitate to tell me how I should spend my money. no romance, and he was a hoarder. didn't matter his size, his attitude killed the feelings toward him. #3 is nicely endowed, finds me sexy, and the love shines in his eyes. he loves showing affection out in public as well as in private. he just makes we feel good. it doesn't matter how much a guy has if he doesn't make you feel good all the time.
Reply
Monday 07 February
By mike from queens
How is it that you list Colin Ferrel on the tiny list, and Jezebel lists him on the big-schlong list?
Reply
Sunday 20 February
By bigisbest
When woman who say that average is fine & that comparing size is a "guy thing" - they are full-o-shit!!!
Women DO prefer well hung men because it feels better, I've had small & average as well but let me tell u something about big...BIG WINS hands down!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is not dismissed as a "guy thing" - ask any woman, (unless she's dating a "disappointment" & trying to make him feel better about his lack) any HONEST woman & she will tell you that Bigger is always bigger. This is natural selection, it is not a way to make men feel bad about themselves, it is only natural. Just like how a woman would prefer the stronger man, so that he can protect her & her children etc
A man doesn't have to be good looking, smart or even funny but he better have a big dick dammit!!!
However, a woman has to be pretty, have a nice body, cute pussy, nice titties & ass, young or youthful looking, basically she has to be hot as hell etc for a guy to look at her. If she is ugly or fat or old - too bad! If a man is ugly or fat or old apparently a woman can forgive these flaws or look past them & still date him, so at least let us have the one thing thats important....dick size!!!
Reply
Sunday 13 March
By Michael Cycles
If a man or woman is confident and secure knowing their own self worth, no minor phyical flaw will bother them. These are people of quality who love themselves and respect and charish their partners. A small penis or small bust line does not destroy their self esteem. For people who have no confidence, things such as penis size or cup size seem to be a matter of great importance. These people are usually a superficial group, who are not worth getting involved with. They are always looking for someone new and different. Ive dated a person like this, and I will never make this mistake again.
Most of us fall some where in the middle. We are equipt equally with self confidence, and physical endowment.
Reply
Sunday 17 April
By ziggy
I really find the subject matter fascinating. The psychological effects of penis size are undeniable. Say for instance that a incredibly handsome man, amazing wife, beautiful kids, fantastic job, 3 cars, 2 boats, an airplane. A SHITLOAD of money and power. Immature and mean as hell. But, due to his 4.5 inch erect penis this man experiences an unreal role reversal when naked among men. I'm sure it can't be said that its basic math, guy has a big dick & acts like a big dick, guy with a little dick who acts like a big dick, and so on.
Anyway, i got a solid 6 inches but find larger, thicker penises very attractive and desirable. It does matter. I always wonder when I meet someone who interests me just what their cock looks like soft & hard....
for what its worth, cheers!
Friday 03 June
By marchwind
I have heard it said, It's not the size of the wave but the motion of the ocean.Food for thought.
Reply
Saturday 11 June
By Mark
Let's do one about boobless women! That's always good for a laugh. Or maybe big sagging, floppy boobs.
Reply
Sunday 26 June
By petee1953
whoever wrote and said that ben affleck or collin farell are small in the penis department well this person or person(s) must be a size queen cause they are very handsome men and it is not the size that counts it is how well you perform with it so don't knock-it till you tried it comments such as the one you people made are not even exceptable as comments the are to me anyways considered as insults and they are so full of it so there ....................
Reply
Thursday 21 July
By Nick Mayor
I feel so validated. I have been telling people for years that I saw Jude Law nude in the play Indiscretions and he sould have been more discreet as the poor lad had been gyped downstairs.
Reply