Lemondrop

My boyfriend lives in New York. I live in Los Angeles. We've been dating for three years. Does it work? Well, I'll tell you.

I don't recommend that people get involved in long-distance relationships. To be honest, when we started dating I really never thought we'd get serious. I knew that he came to L.A. for work a lot, but that he didn't live here and had no intention of moving. I had been well warned of the curse of the continental divide. Everyone (especially people who have tried to do it) knows that long distance relationships NEVER work.

Or do they?

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When we first started seeing each other he would call me on a Friday night and ask me if I wanted to grab some dinner, I had misgivings. But I wanted to. So I did. I did it over and over again, every time he came to Los Angeles. What was I supposed to do? We always had a great time on our dates. We were always excited to see each other. But I'd been warned my entire adult life about the long-distance relationship.

As we got closer and more serious, things got more difficult. I mean, when you're really into someone, you actually want them around. We'd fight a lot, especially those extremely convenient spats right before he was leaving for New York. It's easier to feel that you're sending someone away than to be sad about them going away on their own. We still fight sometimes, but now we realize what we're doing.

Bridging the (3,000-mile) gap

We see each other as often as we possibly can. I feel like this is the most important part of making our long-distance relationship work for as long as it has. My boyfriend and I will randomly pick a place in the middle of the country and meet for a sexy sex-filled weekend. We like to pick places we've never been before like Nashville, or Des Moines. Dinners in restaurants we've never been to, in cities we've never been to, with people we've never seen and will probably never see again. It's exciting and fun.

But once again we are coming up on THAT time. The time when he goes back to New York for God knows how long. A few weeks? A few months? Who knows? It's truly a lesson in powerlessness.

Living apart, together

I feel like I have two totally different lives. I have the life I live when he's here -- going out to dinner, hanging out with other couples, and doing things together. When he's around, I have a friend to go to the grocery store, Bed Bath and Beyond, and share a pot of coffee with in the morning. Then I have my other life -- hanging out with my girlfriends, walking the dogs alone (even late at night) and running errands by myself. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I don't have some magical formula for long-distance relationships. I know that my boyfriend travels a lot, and even if I lived in New York I'd have to spend long periods of time without him because of his work. Maybe one day we'll share a coast, city or house. Until then, when he's gone, there's no one to bitch about me watching Nancy Grace.

And now this week's unemployment update ...

To Do: Had a couple of good job interviews last week. Fingers crossed.

Our friends at The Frisky are totally in support of long distance dating. Go read their 20 reasons why here.