The Neverending Status
A classic vex: the person who feels the need to announce how hot their coffee is, how sick they feel, nonsequitors, or short ramblings in another language. Sometimes the triteness can reach especially irrelevant lows when friends utilize the "Jane Doe is." status. Usually we went to High School with these people and don't give a shit about how they stubbed their toe this morning.
ClintJCL, Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/clintjcl/421726073/
Newsflash: not everyone uses Twitter. And constant @replies in the Facebook feed is the last things many people want to see.
The Photo Overexposer
Bad Facebook friends can also commit photo faux pas. Racing to detag yourself from drunken party pictures before your coworkers catch them on Monday morning, or removing your name from dated photos of your younger, fatter, less-chic self is never enjoyable. There's also an inescapable flummox factor to friends who post overly- racy pics of themselves, but let's be honest -- looking at a mundane photo album of someone's new furniture, or what she ate for lunch, is pretty exasperating too.
LarimdaME, Flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/larimdame/2055017035/in/set-72157603269457805/
The Lurking Authority Figure From the Past
Sure, we retain fond memories of camp counselors, or our 8th grade History Teacher. But when they seek us out, lurk, and try to establish some kind of nostalgic relationship? That's weird.
The Feuding Couple
When couples break up, the broken heart icon is acknowledged as an official announcement. But it gets unacceptable when friends try to trump each other by turning their post-relationship statuses into blatant jabs at one another. Broadcasting singlehood photos, and declarations like "I can't believe how much i LOVE my LIFE right now!!!" to "The party last night was the best night I've had in months and months!" to "I have such a crush right now" take it to immature lows, people.
The Tactless Status Updater
People just shouldn't be updating their status while their wife is in labor, or broadcasting to the world how much they puked on Saturday night, or the fact that they haven't showered in a few days. Keyword = TMI.
What's worse than having to miss the finale of that show you've been following for months? Having the suprise ending ruined by someone in your Facebook news feed!
The Facebook Spammer
Friends who are ultra social networkers, DJs, promoters, or in bands have the capacity to turn Facebook into spam-central, with persistant invites and updates -- sometimes for months in advance.
Yes Mom, we love you! But in this new age of Facebook-for-the-whole-family, we kinda don't want relatives to have access to all angles of our lives. It's equally as awkward having a friend's parents or relatives request you as a friend, or your dad's friends nudging you. The possibilities are endless and disturbing.
The Meme Blizter
No, I don't want to throw a snowball at you. No, I don't want to see who is on your "funnest girls" list. FB memes or games can be cute, but in the interest of not looking like an ignoramus, we suggest keeping it to a minimum.