Skin flicks, naughty mags, sexy photos and toys ... we all have a little Larry Flynt streak. Unfortunately, some of us aren't so good at keeping our porn collections on the QT. And when we inadvertently stumble upon said stash, we often learn waaaaaaaay too much about the sexual predilections of loved ones and strangers alike.Read on for some hilarious and horrifying tales of porn discoveries ... and put an extra lock on that goodie drawer, won't ya?
Men Behaving Badly
"I went looking under the guestroom bed for a sweater that I was storing when instead I discovered two large navy-blue duffel bags that weren't mine. I unzipped them, only to find that they were filled to the brim with nothing but well-read porn mags -- mostly Leg Show, which apparently caters to foot-fetish aficionados. Suddenly, it made sense that my boyfriend loved to suck on my toes." -- Jo
Click here to read more tales after the jump.
Old School
"My husband and I got an antique sideboard from a lovely couple. As I was going over it with lemon oil, I found inside one of the drawers a small photo album ... full of nude pictures of the couple. Recent nude pictures.
"I will never see a pair of Tommy Hilfiger white briefs without thinking of this 87-year-old man. The reclining nude shots of the 86-year-old wife were equally startling. I showed my husband and he said, 'Is that a woman?' We still wonder if they ever realized we had it, or spent the rest of their lives looking for it." -- Shirley
Used People
"I own a used-book store. The most common item I get is photos, but some of them are ... special. Most of the pictures are topless snapshots. I got a call from a customer last week saying they'd found a Polaroid of a bondage scene in one of their books. I've had several different lesbian bondage books come in ... and they're always brought in by elderly women wearing mink stoles!" -- Rain
Chatty Cathy
"When a popular sales rep was fired, we were told it was because she was not meeting her goals. When I later took over her computer, I discovered the real reason: pornographic chat sessions! The rep had saved hours of porn-chat from her online sessions on her computer. When I mentioned the 'files of a personal nature' to my boss, she blanched. 'Yeah,' she said. 'Don't tell anyone. But it was just out of control. We had to let her go.'" -- Tracey
Hotel Californication
"I thoroughly check hotel rooms before checking out to be sure I did not leave anything. On a college scouting trip with my mother, we were checking under the beds for any lost items of our own when we discovered a whip and a feathery toy on a string." -- Melissa
All Work and No Play ...
"Many of the offices at my job have windows visible from the interior hallway. One evening, there was no way to avoid seeing that one of the other 'executives' was slumped down in his chair, enjoying some truly disgusting porn on his giant computer screen, pizza in one hand and a salami in the other. I looked away as fast as I could, but not before we locked eyes uncomfortably. I was mortified.
"I recently discovered that he is part of a very conservative religious organization, which makes the whole thing even stranger. Or maybe not ... " -- Amy
Delete!
"During college, I worked for on-campus tech support and spent a lot of hours running disk defrag and deleting unnecessary files. On one machine, I suspected the culprit was a large folder simply titled 'Saved.' I opened the folder and let's just say that the filenames revealed some very explicit tastes. The owner turned red and claimed, 'Those aren't mine -- my buddy sent those to me, I didn't want them, and they're in that folder so I can e-mail them back to him!'" -- Cindy
Tell Us: Where do you hide your porn? Have you ever found someone else's collection?












Comments:
Add a comment
Thursday 28 May
By Paige
One time when I was around nine years old, I found a bunch of my parents' porno mags...and they were all about incestuous orgies!
One day I piled them all up an slid them under their sheets just before they went to bed. I never saw or heard of them again...
Reply
Thursday 04 June
By Sarah
That is too funny! LMAO
Friday 29 May
By laylie57
So on my birthday last year i came home to my house robbed. My was room tossed in a panic i called the police. A nice guy kinda portly showed up at my home to take my report pictures and thing of that nature. my room was a completely shamble my underwear... stolen clean and dirty alike. i failed to notice that my gold "treasure" chest from deep under my bed was now on my bed. needless to say the officer went to open it i realized what was in it and slammed his finger in the top. he reaches for his gun and backs away and asks me what is in there and to step away. well he found out.... all i could say was "hey i have needs to!" then send the next hour crying at him.. lol what a birthday... a girl has need too.
Reply
Wednesday 03 June
By Karen
When living with roomates one day, I heard a strange buzz. I couldnt figure it out. I looked all around my apartment thinking something must be broken. So I called my guy roomate downstairs I said I cant figure it out. He looked around a little bit, then I realized! In a panic realizing myself what item I owned might possibly be buzzing in my bureau, I said, quickly, "NEVER MIND!" I'll figure it out! I was sooo embarrassed for weeks if either of them saw me they'd go BUZZ BUZZ and laugh!!! Like the other girl said, girls have needs too!
Reply
Wednesday 10 June
By Carrie
i was like, 8 years old.my sister, 16, said i could have an old teddy bear of hers.the bear i THOUGHT she was talking about was in a box at the top of her closet.i got a ladder, grabbed the box and climbed down.when i opened said box i found a GIANT dildo.it was mortifying.also in the box was a bunch of pictures of my sisters friends having an orgie.then my cousins(a boy and a girl) came into the room.basically, i don't go in her room anymore
Reply
Friday 12 June
By deadgrlsprstr
My best friend who is a guy was moving out of his parents house to an apartment one town over, he needed to get his stuff out of his parents but couldn't move it into the new place yet so being a good best friend I offered to store the boxes in my moms garage. Well there were 3 boxes that each weighed a good 100 lbs easy and as I was tired of driving around with them(my friend kept forgetting to help me get them into the garage when he was at the house) I decided to bring them in myself, I got one in okay, as I went to heave the second one from the trunk to the driveway the bottom split open and alllll this crazy japanese bondage porn and hentai(anime porn) came tumbling out onto my mothers driveway in the middle of the day to make matters worse as I was scrambling to fix the box and get all of this filthy shit back into it my mother starts walking out of the house to see what's wrong..
Reply
Tuesday 07 July
By GuyReadingThisSite
Is it incredibly wrong that reading this site is a turn-on for me?
Reply
Thursday 09 July
By Tevon
@deadgrlsprstr
Hmm, usually no collection of that sort is complete without tentacle rape(being serious here)
Reply
Saturday 18 July
By Kashmir
My friend and I must've been like 9 or something and we were at her house and we found something strange under the couch. We went and asked both of her parents what it was and they both supposedly didn't know. it wasn't until we both turned 12 that we realized that we had found one of her parent's sex toys!
Reply
Wednesday 26 August
By Stephana
when me and my cousin were six and seven we both lived at the same house along with our parents and uncle.Our uncle lived in the basement and we used to love going down there to play with the computer and to watch disney channel.... so one day i wanted to see the pictures that my uncle had we started flipping through the pictures and there were pictures of family and friends until we stoped and there was a nasty asian lesbian picture and as we passed it we saw more and more pictures of course we didnt know wat it was all we knew was that they were naked and we thought that alone was NASTY.... ok so i quickly turned off the computer and we ran upstairs. Soon after that our little cousin (who was like 4 or 5) came so we were bored and my other cousin suggested we go watch barney (since our little cousin loved barney) and we had already forgotten about the insident that had happened earlier.... and the barney tape was down stairs so we went back downstairs and opened a close drawer that we had found the key to.when we opened it there were so many cassets soo we just grabed anyone we later discovered that the drawer we had opened was our uncles "secreat" playboy videos.After a year me and my parents moved out and i discovered that my cousin was ADDICTED to porn at the age of seven. She would call me and be like "i cant stop watching it, ahhh" and all because my she found our uncles "secreat" porn collection.... but later on she figured out it was just a stage she was going through and that she wasent really ADDICTED but our uncle did have to either burn or throw away his porn collection but i doubt he did.......
Reply
Tuesday 15 September
By Kristen
My boyfriend didn't even try to hide his porn from me... like a week into dating him he looked up and said, "never open the folder called 'my stuff' on my laptop, its porn". After he said that I had to look... I thought he was joking... he most certainly was not!
Reply
Thursday 29 October
By tristan
Two summers ago i took a month long vacation to Taiwon china and thailand... I was staying with penpals I had met online and several friends i met on myspace years before (I know real smart right?). Well the first girl i was staying with was pretty cool and all went well the first few day. Well while she was at work one day i was on her computer and found a huge stash of homeade porn she had made with other traveling tourists like myself... Now its not like me to turn down a hot girl like she was but just the fact that i saw her with over 20 people in the bed right behind me turned me off immediately... I hit up the club that night and found other people to stay with lol... And can you believe i was able to stay in Asia for a month and not need to stay in a hotel a SINGLE night? Guess im just lucky like that!
Reply
Monday 09 November
By Coura
Bitch !!!! :)
Reply
Friday 28 May
By Stessie
Porn is a serious problem in a marriage when your husband uses that for his sexual outlet and not his wife. I was in a marriage for 13 1/2 years that was like that...and any of you who say I was stupid to stay so long...well, you're right, I was..I cannot disagree, but I kept hoping things would get better. Silly me. I started asking questions in what I thought was a non-threatening manner, trying to get at the heart of the matter. He just retreated further and further into himself and away from me. We went to 3 therapists in 5 years (yes, I tried so hard to save a marriage that was doomed from the beginning, but I refused to understand that one person can't do that - it has to be the TWO of you). One night I found the cache (is that the right word? I'm no computer whiz....) of sites while trying to do some other things on our computer, that he used for his "satisfaction"...there were at least 50 sites or more! I didn't stay on-line to count them. I became sick to my stomach as the reality of the situation hit me. There were other things that, if I had WANTED to see it, would have told me what was going on. I need to say that my ex tried, at first, to be happy with me...and when we finally got to where we had to go to a therapist, he tried to do what the therapists suggested...all the exercises and dialogs designed to improve intimacy...but even those didn't help. It had been too many years and too much self-pleasuring. He didn't need another person for that...and he certainly didn't know how to take care of anyone else's needs but his own..porn had taken care of that. In the end, I was an emotional wreck. I had lived for years without a loving touch, a smile or a few words that would show me that he even knew I was in the bed beside him...or anywhere else, for that matter after a few years. In bed, all I ever saw was his back. He was addicted to porn and probably still is. I'm OK now, but it took most of these 10 years to get back to where I was before I met him, but I still have some issues that may stay with me forever. The sadder part; at least I think it is, is that he's involved with another woman now that we're divorced. Hopefully, he's learned something after all of this, but I hope she's a stronger woman than I was....she's gonna need it, for sure...and I wish her well.
Reply