Lemondrop

It's a very special time in Los Angeles. All the TV shows are going on hiatus, the kids will be out of school for the summer and the Earth is stretching out and shaking off the winter. Which means earthquakes.

I like earthquakes -- the more the better, in my opinion. And before you're like, "Hold up! Wasn't there an insane quake back in the 1990s that caused like $20 billion in damage?" Yeah -- and that's why I get nervous when the Earth doesn't shake for too long. It's like you can feel the pressure at the fault lines building up, and you know it's gonna happen but not when or how big it'll be.

A big earthquake is pretty darn scary. I lived near the epicenter of the 1994 Northridge quake, and it felt like a plane had crashed in the backyard, or like the pits of hell were opening up to let a million demons burst up from deep inside the Earth. People love to talk about how California is plagued with natural disaster -- mudslides, wildfires, earthquakes -- and that it's slowly falling into the sea. Well, true enough.

But, that said, I'll take living in the land of earthquakes over living in "safer parts" any day.

Click here to read why ...

More people die from the Midwestern and Northeastern winters than from earthquakes each year. The snow is far more deadly than silly ol' little earthquakes. Although the anxiety alone might kill you -- the local news is always reminding us that once every 150 years the Southwest has an 8.0 or higher earthquake ... and we haven't had one for about 130 years.

When I told this to my boyfriend, a New Yorker, he said, "Why is anyone here? Let's get outta here!" We know it's coming, and yet we stay. I'm assuming that most of us stay because we're pretty sure we'll survive the next big quake.

Time to Get Quake-Proof

I know that I plan on riding my third-floor apartment straight to the ground with my animals and belongings intact, so it might be a good idea for me to prep while I have the time. Right now my earthquake kit consists of five gallons of really old bottled water, some dog food and a few old flashlights. (And who knows how old the batteries are.)

None of my cabinets are earthquake-proofed, so all my dishes will end up smashed on the floor. I'm pretty sure that my flat-screen TV will end up smashed on the floor. I can secure it, but I can't imagine the straps surviving an 8.0 or higher. I have animal carriers, which I should secure too ... if only so that the animals and I have some camping equipment if we lost the apartment.

Emergency Vacation Procedure

I also learned after the last one that the best thing to do after an earthquake is to get the heck out of dodge. So I guess if one hits, I'm just going to head somewhere that has running water, indoor lighting and cable TV. I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

The bottom line is that, odds are, I'm never going to experience a hurricane, tornado, ice storm or blizzard. But if we're going by odds, I am, however, going to experience a devastating earthquake, the likes of which I can't even possibly imagine. I hope I survive to blog about it here! (And my TV, too.)


And for this week's unemployment update ...

To Do: I have two job interviews this week! Doing laundry so I have something to wear.