Last week, relationship expert Em
fielded relationship questions
from a morning-show audience. One audience member asked about the tendency to have full-fledged conversations via text.
Em agreed that was normal (not a deal-breaker
) because folks are busy and a lot of us just hate talking on the phone.
While we agree that talking on the phone can induce awkwardness, we think relying solely on texting
can be just as bad in the long run. Click here
to read our friends' rules for texting while dating.
DO: Text the Details
"Texting your bf about where you should meet for dinner is one thing," said Meg, 23. "But when you're texting him instead of telling him about how you feel or about your day, it takes away from the whole process of building a relationship." DON'T: Thumb Wrestle
"Last week my bf and I got in an argument," said Heather, 24. "While I was taking the train home I sent him a million texts. Here I am trying to get everything off my chest and he's replying back to me with one-word answers like 'yeah' or 'whatever'
, which ended up pissing me off even more because, to me, it meant he didn't care about what I was saying. Because our fight was via text message, it turned into a bigger deal than it had to be!" DO: Be Fun and Flirty
"I like texts when they are used for flirting or to sending cute messages, or when you can't call each other for whatever reason," explained Tara, 25. "But when they start to replace actual conversation, that's where problems start. Fights get started because things are misread or when there's a big gap in response time. I think being in constant communication with each other actually hurts our relationships." DON'T: Forget to Ask Questions
"Being single, I find it's easier to form a texting relationship with someone before a talking-on-the-phone relationship, but guys need to learn the rules!" said Laura, 24. "With some dudes, texting is one-sided. They'll tell you what they're up to and not invite you, tell you how their day was and not ask about yours. It gets frustrating. If you were communicating face to face like that, it'd be rude."The Consensus:
If you want to shoot your man a quick flirty text or let him know you'll be home late from work, go for it, but when it comes to filling him in on your life and feelings, ditch the messaging and talk face to face or, at the very least, actually on the phone!So Tell Us:
How has texting affected your relationship? Would you give up talking on the phone for text messaging?