Don't like sex? Maybe you're an idiot. According to new research, women on higher levels of "emotional intelligence" had a greater frequency of orgasm than those with lower levels. Emotional intelligence -- which sounds a liiiiiiittle less than scientific -- apparently refers to the ability to recognize emotions in yourself and others. This elusive quality apparently grants some women the ability to increase arousal by fantasizing in bed or expressing what they want to their partner.
It's hoped that the results of this study will help with the development of new therapies for the near-third of women who have the sad, sad problem of trouble orgasming.
The results of the study have been published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine ... which is apparently a real thing, and not the name of a lost Barry White album.
Ten Famous Sex Myths, Debunked
Women only like bad boys and have to be cajoled into being in the mood, right? Ha! We consulted with Barbara Keesling, PhD, author of "The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex" and got the truth about 10 other crazy-pants sex myths.
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Myth: Women have to be in a relationship to enjoy sex.
The Truth: Your orgasm potential has nothing to do with whether you're single or committed. Having great sex has to do with physical sensations, not your status. What's more, many women report having stronger orgasms when they masturbate than they do with a partner.
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Myth: Women don't (and shouldn't!) masturbate as often as guys.
The Truth: Ha! There is absolutely no rule as to how much you should get yourself off. Do it is much as you'd like. In fact, the more you do it, the more you'll understand what it takes to reach climax and that can help you guide your guy when you're in bed together.
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Myth: Vaginal orgasms feel better than clitoral orgasms.
The Truth: There is no such thing as a better orgasm -- they're all pretty fantastic. They definitely feel different because they originate in different spots. Try experimenting and achieving the various types -- clitoral, vaginal, g-spot -- to see which you prefer.
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Myth: A woman should be able to orgasm during intercourse.
The Truth: Putting that kind of pressure on yourself may prevent you from having an orgasm at all. A lot of women are unable to reach their peak through straight penetration. Most need clitoral stimulation as well. So don't feel bad touching yourself, having your partner touch you, or even using a vibrator while he thrusts.
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Myth: Women don't get turned on by porn.
The Truth: There's no hard rule on this one. Some chicks like naughty flicks, others don't. If porn doesn't do the trick for you, try erotic literature. Lots of women prefer it because it allows them to use their imagination when picturing what's going on.
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Myth: Guys love lingerie.
The Truth: Many men just find lingerie complicated. Think about it, all those snaps and ribbons and straps are confusing and a pain in the ass to get off of you when he wants to get some. Most guys will tell you they much prefer a woman naked.
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Myth: If you're good in bed, you should be able to please anyone.
The Truth: Some people have instant in-bed chemistry, others have to work on it. That means, you could sleep with 10 guys and they would all have a different opinion of your skills. (And you of theirs!) Communication is key to being able to have good sex with someone. Tell him what you like and don't like, and ask him to do the same. If you're too shy to say it, show him by guiding his hands.
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Myth: Men prefer women who pursue them sexually.
The Truth: Evolution tells us the exact opposite. Most men like to feel like they've worked for a women's attention. However, that doesn't mean that you have to sit in the corner and wait for a man to approach you. Go ahead and signal to a guy that you're interested by flirting. Just avoid things like grabbing his crotch in a crowded bar.
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Myth: Happy couples always have good sex.
The Truth: No one always hits a homer in the bedroom. You could be in the best relationship and have an off night if one of you isn't feeling well or is stressed. If you are always having bad sex, it may be a bigger problem. If this is the case, discuss what you both need in bed to enjoy yourselves more
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Comments:
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Thursday 14 May
By charlene ball
wow, what gets me is how to you think you will keep a man 20 yrs your jr. if you are not going to ........ him. is that his fault or should you have been old enough to know better?
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Thursday 14 May
By Kellanna
LOL...thanks Chris! ;-) To all of us sexually self-sufficient women in the world, let's get it on with ourselves in honor of our true sexual nature, and not settle for what a man could do for us, which well.............isn't exactly all that. Unless he's unusual and actually knows how to turn a woman on using more than sex, which is not likely. lol....
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Thursday 14 May
By purplembf
Actually, using words like "liiiiiiittle" sounds a liiiiiiittle less than scientific.
And yes, amazingly enough, just because "emotional intelligence" has the word "emotional" in it, it is a real thing. And yes, it is scientific.
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Thursday 14 May
By dirockson
So real intelligent woman can have more orgasims hum....
I have to agree with meg , if your spouse or partner makes you feel safe and
secure and puts you above everything than you want to have sex any way they do . If you have to beg for affection and attention you don't feel connected.
Without a connection than sex isn't going to be as good as it can be. Sure you can have meaningless sex to fufill basic needs. Yet, To have orgasmic sex there has to be that real connection and trust has to be there . For me I have to feel that this person really wants and loves me and I have to really be close to him. Sometimes that takes a long time in a relationship to feel confortable with someone. It isn't always about holding back so much it is about knowing that the person you are with respects you and may really care for you. Yes, that can be difficult if you have had bad relationships in your life cause trusting someone and giving your heart and soul means getting to really know someone . Yes , being soulmates makes sex so incrediable.but holding on to that in any relationship is the hard part. Relationships can grow or falter but it is always about commuication in the relationship.
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Thursday 14 May
By dj
They are just intelligent enough to know how to fake it better!
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Thursday 14 May
By masanddjs
Oh please, nobody gives a woman an orgasm like she can give herself. Sorry guys, but it's true. A woman can fake an orgasm with a man, but men don't have that luxury..we can tell, lol. Women fake it all the time (and then rush to the bathroom and finish the job that you couldn't, lmao)
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Thursday 14 May
By Carol
Is everyone crazy on here? Sex is natural, and a big part of any relationship. You are expressing your love for one another. It is important to have that physical connection. If you have lost your sexual desire then go to a doctor fast!
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Thursday 14 May
By Career RN
I'd be interested in seeing how many "races" the brits studied regarding "package" size, an euphemism which is open to interpretation anyway. Professionally, having seen thousands of male sex organs *the erectile kind*, I can with complete certainty state that east asian men got the shortest end of the stick. That said, I can also state from personal experience that it doesn't matter in the least. Just as women who may not be as attractive in a trophy or eye candy way learn to cope with that perceived inadequacy by being able to blow men's socks off in bed, relatively underendowed men can MORE than even the playing field with technique, true passion and concern for the pleasure of their partner. One more personal observation: usually men with the biggest sticks with a d, ARE the biggest sticks with a d. (hope that got through the sensors or this post is going to make little sense.) As races mix more and recessive genes are expressed more, the racial differences will of course be diluted and eventually be nonexistent, but we are not there yet. And for you mothers to be, for heaven's sake, CIRCUMCISE your male children--it's one of the best cervical cancer and other STD prevention steps one can take...and as men age, that skin REALLY gets in the way. And to all you angry men out there right now...tough rocks (pun intended)...women have been spoken about as objects forever. I don't personally care in the least if I just offended you.
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Thursday 14 May
By Suki
So much pretending goes on all the time. If women would come out and be honest, we fake it half the time. And there's no way a guy can tell. Just tighten up and do a few kegels and he'll never know. And orgasms .... of course we do it better by ourselves. I've never orgasmed with aa partner vaginally ... only rarely with friction .... but there's nothing I enjoy so much as making love with my partner .... I love turning him on .... I love pleasuring him. And I'd never let him know I didn't orgasm because it would hurt him. I love sex .... and I don't orgasm ...... Go research that one! You may be surprised to find that for many women, if not most ... it's the emoptional content which matters and which keeps us interested in sex. Pressure to have orgasms .... or worst of all ... that elusive "simultaneous" orgasm ruined all my early relationships. Until I met a guy who was a sensitive and joyful partner. I felt guilty about faking it until I realized it was a gift to him .... he pleases me in every other way. And if I told him and he couldn't bring me to real orgasm it would hurt him terribly. Don't give me that crap about "honesty" ... sometimes real love protects the loved one from hurt. Too much talk, too much honesty" too much analyzing and commenting .... too too much. Americans have ruined sex, talked it to death. Robbed it of mystery and romance .... and above all, have forgotten that element of love.
Thursday 14 May
By TEXASGIRL
YES, ORGANSIMS ARE GREAT. IF YOU DO IT BY YOURSELF U MAY ONLY GET ONE OUT IN LESS U ARE A OBESSED WITH YOUR SELF. IF YOU FAKE AN ORGANSIM IT IS PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU PARTNER DOESNT KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING OR ONLY LAST 5-10 MIN. IF YOU HAVE A PARNTER WHO CAN LAST A GOOD 30 MIN GIVE LITTLE MORE TIME FOR FOREPLAY YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT ILL PASS ON PLEASURING MYSELF. ID RATHER HAVE A GOOD ------ THEN JUST AN ORGASIM!!!!!!
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Thursday 14 May
By Kellanna
Joie, let's face it...love does not necessarily have a direct correlation with sex. People express their love in many different ways, and sex is just ONE of them. Other ways people express their love is by being a good provider, caring spouse, etc...many people on this site don't seem to see that being emotionally sensitive does not manifest itself merely in sex, but they can get stuck on themselves with that one...masturbation is fueled by the mind, by our fantasies which we dream up from the mood we're in. You don't need a partner, or you can have one, but it's a little more distracting that way...masturbating doesn't mean we're "stuck on ourselves" because we may not even fantasize about ourselves during it. It's far more intense than regular sex with all it's presenting issues and drama(i.e. birth control, lack of orgasm, hurt feelings etc.) Who has time for all that junk? lol
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Thursday 14 May
By JustMe
I agree. Females that are aware of themselves, their partners, and their emotional enviornment all around them, and view it from those many perspectives, can, and do, acheive greater orgasm that is very true.
BUT....if you have a partner rushing, not taking the time to show the affection, and love, in the way he looks, and touches his woman, no amount of emotional awareness is going to help reach that orgasm, weather she is trying really hard to push those thought away or not.
Men fantasize all day about sex and can switch gears in minutes. Women can not. Proven fact. After working, cooking, cleaning, odds and ends, dealing with kids, a little quality time goes a long way, especially if you want to end an evening with an orgasm and willingness, not a stiff body laying there, just taking it until its raw and she's begging in her mind to please cum and get it over with already.
A very good book/author to read is ---- "SEX MATTERS by OSHO"
If you get past the title, because it is deeper than just sex, and actually hear what he is saying, and you're willing to let yourself explore it on a deeper level of meaning, sex between partners would be so much more pleasureable, meaningful, and satisfying.
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Friday 15 May
By Rosie
I wasn't always so "SMART" but I finally figured it out. I went from loving sex, to dreading sex.....eventually realized it wasn't ME, and moved on (after many, many years). Sad, but true. It wasn't until I met the right man, that it all came back to me. Just lucky I found out I never lost it, after all. If you are not doing it often, and are not looking forward to it, then you are with the wrong person. It takes TWO to make it great.
PS. Meg, you sound angry. Doesn't sound like you have a good thing going on. Maybe it's time to re-evaluate him. My story is stranger than fiction. Even I can't believe it sometimes, but I am so happy to have finally understood why I was so unhappy. Sometimes you just have to ask some tough questions.
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Tuesday 19 May
By betty
men , what is so great about sex ? after 5 kids i cant stand to be touched it just turns me off . i do it just to shut him up and stop nagging at me . i wish he would just "handle it him self and leave me alone. i think it's because men like to dominate women. otherwise why not accept no and get yourself off.it's not about showing love to each other it's about a man wanting to dominate a woman - yipee she said yes
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Wednesday 10 June
By Igor Alexander
You sound like a real bitch. After five kids, consider yourself lucky to have a husband who still wants to have sex with you.
Saturday 06 June
By Adrianna
That's because "intelligent women" masturbate more. (=
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Wednesday 10 June
By Igor Alexander
"Emotional intelligence" is a crock of shit. Since women generally aren't as good at analytical thought as men, the egalitarians came up with this concept of "emotional intelligence" to try to turn women's lack of rationality into an asset. It's just more bullshit to go along with feminists attacking physics as "too masculine," etc.
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Wednesday 10 June
By Bonzer72
Nah...they just fake it better. I have been with some very intelligent women( ironic...really...)but couldn't tell if they experienced more or less. What did stand out was the quality of their fantasies which, if played out well, did make things intense. Is that the same thing?
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Wednesday 10 June
By Hank
...And if you swallow all of it, it will make you BEAUTIFUL.
IQ = 47
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