When you're on hour three of that TPS report, sometimes even Juan Valdez can't save you from faceplanting on your keyboard. So try out these nine tricks that give you a quick wake-up, without the jitters. 1. Phone a friend.
Even if she just carps about her own sucky workday, the quick hit of social activity (a proven energizer) should perk you up.
2. Scare yourself.
Whether it's a clip of "Saw" or of Paula Abdul trying to sing live, fear has the same effect. It elevates adrenaline levels, putting your body and mind in a state of heightened attention.
3. See red.
Research has found that red stimulates the nervous system, improving your focus as a result. For optimal energy, Google "Michael Phelps red Speedo."
Click here for six more ways to wake up (without the nasty taurine aftertaste) ...
4. Stop and smell the lavender.
The aroma is usually associated with relaxation, but studies have shown that it actually spurs brain-wave activity that translates into alertness. Try a lotion or scented hand-wash.
The Most Annoying Co-Workers
Insistent Instant Messenger: No matter how much time or miscommunication could be spared by talking face-to-face, this person insists on talking virtually, via IM or e-mail. If you're not online, they send you an e-mail to ask where you are (meanwhile, you're at your desk, 10 feet away).
Cycle Sister: This is a person you're not particularly fond of, but for whatever cosmically twisted reason, your daily routine is synched up -- you walk into work at the same time, and from there, you see your Cycle Sister in the bathroom, on your smoke break, at the vending machine, etc. Even if you like this person, the sheer coincidence makes things creepy and awkward.
Mr. Flibble, Flickr
The Get-a-Lifer: This person asks you out to post-work drinks on a regular basis, despite the fact that you always decline. And the one time you went to a party at their house, it ended up being the two of you playing Taboo. The Get-a-Lifer is often the same person who plans meetings at 6 p.m. on Fridays.
bealluc, Flickr
Listserv Leech: If someone has taken this person's lunch out of the fridge, the entire staff will be notified via the staff listserv, which everyone else uses exclusively for professional communication. Alternately, this person may use the listserv to let everyone know about the lack of toilet paper in the bathroom.
Angry Typist: The Angry Typist pounds on her keyboard with the vigor of someone hitting her ex-boyfriend. The violent clacking leads to many misunderstandings, as this person is often unaware of their problem and is not actually pissed.
.faramarz, Flickr
The Toilet Mouth: You're on the pot midstream (or worse) when the Toilet Mouth strikes up a conversation. This person also likes to chatter at the sink for before and after they go, giving no one in the bathroom privacy to do their business.
Megan *, Flickr
Monday Manic: The coffee hasn't hit your bloodstream yet, and the Monday Manic is flittering about, imbued with an unnatural amount of energy and optimism. They're telling stories about how freaking great their weekend was and how stoked they are about the work they get to do that day.
Old News Hound: OMG, did you hear that Lindsay Lohan is dating a girl!? The Old News Hound is always the last to know about everything, but the first to belt out at a stale headline at full-volume to their surrounding co-workers.
Rash Revealer:This person has no shame getting on the phone with their doctor, their spouse, their aunt or their mom to discuss a rash, a yeast infection and any other personal bodily defect or medical issue.
maydaFUNKbewithu!, Flickr
The Chit-Chat Blaster: If this person catches you in the break room or on your way out of the bathroom, you're done, for a half an hour later they're still yammering away about the paint samples they're considering for the living room, the deli they ate at for lunch or the meeting the boss called earlier.
5. Chill out.
A little cold can make you more alert. Splash chilly water on your face, or get the effect by wetting some paper towels, popping them in the freezer for a minute, then applying them to your forehead, cheeks and chin for a few seconds.
6. Take a stroll.
Sitting still for hours inhibits deep breathing -- exactly what you need to keep thinking straight. If you can't pop out, for a minute, do some neck rolls or quick stretches at your desk.
7. Blow some bubbles.
A stick of minty fresh gum boosts blood flow to your brain, so you'll think more clearly and even have better recall if you're trying to learn something new.
8. Roll your eyes.
Tell yourself that you can "rest" your eyes for a minute by closing them, and the next thing you know you're drooling on your desk. Instead, just look away from your monitor and roll your eyes side to side and up and down for 15 seconds each.
9. Eat something.
Skip the chips or M&Ms -- you'll only crash an hour after the sugar rush of simple carbs. Stick with a protein-rich snack like a handful of almonds, some string cheese or low-fat yogurt.
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