Everything's sunshine and roses at the beginning of a relationship, when you're still shaving your legs and he has a six-pack. But what happens when your partner lets his once-toned body turn to flab, like what happened with this couple.
Her solution? Withhold sex until he drops some lbs. Effective? Yes. Fair? Not really. Imagine the female backlash if the tables were turned. Your unhappy boyfriend gives you an ultimatum: Lay off the donuts or lay the hell away from me. Feminists everywhere would have a field day, and you'd be pretty pissed too.
At the same time, it's hard to argue with the lady's logic. She says, "It's hard to admit but he's simply not attractive to me anymore. I'm turned off by his body fat and love handles."
Putting the kibosh on all nookie seems pretty harsh to us, but what's the correct response if your partner starts packing on the pounds?
Ben Stone (Seth Rogen), "Knocked Up." A beautiful woman with an unbelievable job hops right into bed with an out-of-work Canadian stoner, under the cinematic pretext of "beer goggles." Please let us know what she was drinking so we can buy stock.
Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack), "Say Anything." Oh, Lloyd Dobler. Now that we know that kickboxing was not, indeed, the sport of the future, following gorgeous, smart Diane Court to college in England without a job or prospects of his own just seems kinda pathetic.
Andy Stitzer (Steve Carell), "The 40-Year-Old Virgin." Steve Carell's hairy manchild had neither a driver's license nor a lick of sexual experience, but landed small-business owner and hot single mom Catherine Keener. You know, 'cause he was so nice.
Chuck (Adam Sandler), "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry." A homophobic firefighter so broke that he agrees to marry his male co-worker for domestic-partner benefits lies to Jessica Biel about his sexual history. She falls madly in love with him. Who wouldn't?!
Troy (Ethan Hawke), "Reality Bites." Unemployed musician makes romantic pronouncements about smoking Camel Wides and bitches at Winona Ryder even as he crashes on her couch and hits her up for free pizza. The love story of our time.
Seth (Jonah Hill), "Superbad." Aside from a rather impressive collection of obscene drawings, this paunchy, raunchy dork seems to have little to offer the cute, funny girl he gets.
John Beckwith (Owen Wilson), "Wedding Crashers." A gorgeous, altruistic treasury secretary's daughter falls for a "professional mediator" who spends his spare time lying his way into parties and bridesmaids' underpants. Obvs.
Ben Wrightman (Jimmy Fallon), "Fever Pitch." Boston baseball superfan and crap boyfriend constantly ditches his beautiful, successful girlfriend because the Red Sox "need" him. How adorable!
20th Century Fox
Dante (Brian O'Halloran), "Clerks" & "Clerks II." A chubby dude with a creepstache and a series of crap jobs that he loves to whine about. Catnip to women like Rosario Dawson.
Michael (Zach Braff), "The Last Kiss." A mopey man-boy cheats on his lovely, pregnant girlfriend with a college student, and she takes him back. In the movies, he's "conflicted." In real life, we call that "sleazebaggy."
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