Generally, if a guy's about to score, it's almost impossible to kill the mood. But there are
a few phrases that are guaranteed to ruin the moment like a mid-thrust fart.
Read on and learn what not to say if you want to avoid (or, at least, reduce the chances) of a premature ending to your night between the sheets. 10. "I hate the way I look naked."
Join the club. Many women (and an increasing number of dudes) aren't fans of their bodies. But, in bed, a little bit of confidence can go a long, long way. Chances are your body image is much different in your head than it is in ours, so let's just agree to disagree that you're hot. Cool? 9. "Let's do it quick, okay?"
While we resent it when you make sex seem like an appointment rather than a good time, this crack actually makes us laugh -- as if we know
of another way to do it. 8. "I can't wait to wake up next to you."
Is that a sock stuck to our boxers via static cling? Oh, no, it's just you. 7. "My ex-boyfriend did that a bit differently"
Keep bringing him up and you don't have to worry about us not following his lead. After the sex, we'll be gone too. Click here
to read the top 6.6. "Have you done this before?"
Yes. Well, the goats and video camera are new. There's no upside to getting an honest answer to this question, so save your breath.5. "Are things gonna be weird afterward?"
Only if the goats get loose. Sure, sex can make things a little awkward -- you've seen our back hair, we know you sound like a banshee when you fake an orgasm. But voicing these insecurities at T-minus zero will only ensure that things get weird now
, not tomorrow or next week. 4. "I knew my first time would be special."
Unless you're in a committed relationship, and both aware of the circumstances, it's probably not the best idea to advertise your virginity in hopes that it'll turn us on. If a responsibility that big got us hot, we'd move out of Mom and Dad's basement a lot sooner. 3. "SHH! You'll wake the neighbors."
You're considerate. Great. But, you're also thinking about a nosy hausfrau while we're trying to turn you on. In terms of our confidence, that ranks up with calling our goods "precious." 2. "Are you hard enough?"
Not only are you questioning the level of our arousal, but you're also questioning the impressiveness of our boner. 1. "You remind me of my brother."
If your brother is any less handsome and manly than The Rock, we're going to take this the wrong way.
So you've said all the right things and bedded your man...now read Tom's list of "10 Things Not to Say After Doing It"
over at YourTango.com
. Freelance writer Matt D. Phillips claims that the D. in his name stands for Diamond.