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When a hooker tried to eat him, did Vince the ShamWow guy give up? No, he did not. He got right back on the horse and kept pushing the Slap Chop, a kitchen utensil for people who love violence and cutting things into pieces, but aren't allowed to have knives in the house.

The infamous ad's hilarious non sequiturs (notably "You're going to love my nuts!" and "Stop having a boring tuna! Stop having a boring life!") make for excellent remixing. Thus, from Funny or Die, we give you: Rap Chop. (After the jump, the original Slap Chop infomercial.)