Sure, you've probably already read 295 lists of things not to talk about on a first date. Still, the more these conversational faux pas get hammered into your brain, the less likely you are to make them.
So re-read these and promise yourself to zip it next time one comes to mind -- then leave a comment to let you know your least favorite thing we guys tend to talk about. 10. "Normally, I don't date guys like you." Guys are insecure too, and we start spinning our wheels wondering what you meant. Do you usually date handsome men? Employed men? Professional-athlete men? Translated: "Yeah, you're my last gasp before lesbianism."
9. "I don't care." Indecisiveness is about as sexy as Larry the Cable Guy. You've got an opinion, so share it! We wouldn't ask, "Where would you like to eat?" or "What movie do you want to check out?" if we weren't interested in finding out the answer so we could please you.
8. "You remind me of my ex." Well, hey, thanks for saving us the trouble of picking up the check. Now we know how this is gonna turn out.
7. "I hate kids." We might agree with you, but this reeks of you trying to assure us that you're not thinking about marriage. And that reminds us that you were thinking of marriage before you decided to defend it. Watch as we scurry for the Weed-B-Gone.
10. Reality TV on DVD This signals to men that if we date this girl, we will have to spend endless hours watching crappy television. Hey, we all love "Rock of Love," but it isn't at the forefront of our DVD collection. If you do happen to get caught with the boxset for "The Real Housewives of Orange County" you can disarm its negative effect by earnestly swear to baby Jesus that you will never make him watch it with you unless he has a fresh sandwich in hand and is getting blown. Or you can just place it behind another movie.
9. More than one stuffed animal One stuffed animal means a lady nurtures her inner child, more than that indicates she is in arrested development. Imagine for a second sweet, sweet love makin' reflected in the glass eyes of dozens of Teddy Bears or collector dolls. It sounds like an X-rated episode of the "Twilight Zone."
8. Fat Free Potato Chips Two words, "anal leakage." Sometimes you've just got to just suck it up and open a bag of delicious, fatty potato chips. But seriously, however strict and stringent your diet is, if you don't have at least a few "to hell with the calories I'm going to eat this anyway" foods, it will make you seem uptight and prudish.
7. Sex for Dummies, etc. This is a bit misleading, because you would think that seeing a sex guide meant this girl would be down with having some good sex. In reality, this means she's had so much bad sex she has resorted to trying to learn how to do it from a book. If you're looking for a sterile way to explore your sexual fantasies and communicate to your man what you do and don't like, try phone sex. That way if he gets flustered by all the advice, he won't be under any pressure to preform.
6. Anne Geddes Baby Pictures Art crap meets biological clock time bomb. Here's a crazy idea, instead of buying a creepy, cliche poster, why don't you stroll on down to your favorite art museum or a local arts fair and pick up something unique. Then figure out something insightful to say about why you like it- it reminds you of when you studied abroad or that time you won a milk drinking contest- this will make you seem much more interesting.
5. Condom Wrappers in the trash can Either she has just had sex with someone else or she hasn't taken out the trash in way too long. Either way, kind of off-putting. Also, lesbians throw away their old dildos when entering a new relationship, you can scrap together $10 and get a new tube of KY. No guy wants to be thinking about who before him was slathering up his member with this stuff in a moment of passion.
Flickr, brandon cirillo
4. Photos with Her Ex If you have a screensaver set to cycle through your photos, you should probably put the photos of you and your ex in a separate folder. Another lesser faux pas is having hundreds of photos with your friends lined up smiling in a bar. Think of your screensaver as a digital picture frame and select some of your most interesting photos for the slideshow rather than leaving it scrolling endlessly through every photo you've ever taken.
3. "Monster" or "Fatal Attraction" Not commonly found in most women's rooms, but a deal breaker none the less.
2. Anything "Twilight" related It's called a guilty pleasure because you're supposed to be ashamed of it. The same goes for "Harry Potter" and "Eragon." Yeah, those are fun books you can read in a long afternoon, but unless you're a fifth grade teacher, actually especially if you're a fifth grade teacher, you need to have some books for adults mixed in.
Flickr, i heart him
1. The Bible Nothing says you're not going to have a good time like the good book on the nightstand besides a girl's bed. Especially if you didn't know she was religious. If you are religious, please for God's sake let the dude your dating know ahead of time. The bedroom is no place to find out the girl you're excited about has a thing for Wicca.
6. "Ugh! I hate my job!!" Even if your voice flawlessly echoes the timbre and tone of Alicia Keys, whining instantly shuts down our eardrums while we wait for it to be over. It's not that you don't have the right to bitch, but wouldn't you rather we got to know you positively first?
5. "So, when are we going out again?" Why rush date number two? Wouldn't you rather just enjoy date number one and see if we click without the pressure of a follow-up engagement? Well, regardless, we sure would.
4. "The service here is horrible." Again with the complaining! And, it doesn't help that you're more concerned with the incompetent wait staff than you are with us.
3. "Sorry I'm late!" How would you feel if we showed up 20 minutes tardy without a good excuse? If you've got a solid reason, no harm, no foul. But, if your lateness was caused by flakiness and lack of consideration, we'll be looking to get out early.
2. "Hello?" Answering your cell phone on a date? Plain rude. Pulling it out of your pocket non-chalantly, but making sure we see you turn it off? Aww, now we feel special.
1. "Another Shot?! Whoooo!" Unless your date has already nosedived into "can't wait to blog about this loser and his Ninja Turtles Velcro wallet when I get home" territory, try to avoid getting completely obliterated on a first date. Matt Christensen has written for Maxim, Cosmopolitan and Match.com. He avoids making first date mistakes by never going on them.
Get advice about love and relationships, sex tips, fashion tips, beauty news, ideas for entertaining at home, smart shopping, interior decor, women's health, thoughts on politics and news, plus funny videos, celebrity lists, and animal pictures on Lemondrop.com.