Mather Zickel is an extremely talented actor who's best known for his work opposite Anne Hathaway in the critically acclaimed "Rachel Getting Married." He can currently be seen in theaters in "I Love You, Man" and just finished filming a pilot for CBS called "The Karenskys" (from Linwood Boomer, creator of "Malcolm in the Middle").

I, however, seen him every day and pick his filthy boxers up off the floor, because he is my boyfriend. This is my interview with him.

CJ: Thank you for getting up at a reasonable hour today to speak with me. How did you sleep?

Mather: Very well, thank you. I'm really no good at all unless I get my full 14 hours.

CJ: I have watched you make out with starlets Anne Hathaway and Winona Ryder and countless other hot Hollywood actresses in various projects. You even have a threeway in the online series "Wainy Days" produced by the extremely talented David Wain. When do I get to make out with other people?

Click here for Mather's thoughts on a SAG strike, coffee and CJ's job hunt ...

Mather: First, you have to become incredibly famous. Then, you live in a rosy bubble of Hollywood parties and hang out with the gorgeous people. And you must drink. People don't realize that a lot of these beautiful stars are not as uppity and exclusive as you might think. Particularly when they drink. So please drink. A lot.

CJ: I know that the Hollywood actors were recently considering going on strike, which in my opinion is insane considering our current economy. Where do you stand on the SAG agreement?

Mather: I endorse the strike. But that's only because I'm a corporate spy. I know that an extended work stoppage would hurt SAG much more than help it. It might even break the union. And I'm a fervent believer in labor deregulation. But I'm only saying that because I receive a nice fat check from the studios.

CJ: As you know I have been unemployed since October. If you don't mind, please take a moment and tell all my readers what that has been like for you to live with one of the unemployed masses for so many months.

Mather: Kind of a bummer. It makes conversation strained. When I come home after working on the latest hit film or television show, I'm tired, I want to relax. I don't want to find someone sitting in their dirty underpants crying over the classified section. I want dinner.

CJ: You can't seem to do anything without your morning coffee. How much do you love coffee and why do you drink so much of it?

Mather:
I love coffee THIS much. (Mather opens his arms so wide that he dislocates his left shoulder.)

CJ:
You live in New York, and I live in Los Angeles. Please tell all the ladies reading: What's our secret to romantic success?

Mather:
Frequent-flyer miles. Every time I think, What are we doing? What's the point? I remember that I'm a few thousand miles closer to a weekend in Cabo with my homies.

CJ:
Lastly, how much do you love me and why should everyone in America read my blog every week?

Mather:
I'd show you how much I love you, but I dislocated my shoulder when I was showing you how much I love coffee. Let's say it's almost as much as I love coffee. People should read your blog because it's inventive and funny and if enough people read it then maybe that will lead to some real paying writing work and you'll get off the f---ing couch.

I want to thank Mather for taking the time from his busy schedule to speak with me and my readers. It is a memory that I will cherish always.