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You probably give better advice than most paid advice columnists, right? You were kind enough to solve Dave and Ethan's dating dilemma, and now they're back -- with a buddy. This time around, their friend Chris has a question. Leave a comment with your advice.Chris's quandary: Chris isn't sure when he should let a girl know how he feels -- and sometimes he can come on a little strong.
Click on the video below for more info.
Ladies, let's help him out. Should Chris keep his feelings close, or let it all hang out? Let him know in the comments.
About our Charity Cases: Dave and Ethan live in New York and go on lots of double dates together. They like laughing and cuddling (with women -- not each other) and hate crazy girls. Chris is a writer and performer in New York City. He also teaches and builds things.
Got a question? Need some girl advice? Contact us at julie@lemondrop.com and we'll make sure you get the help you want!
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Friday 08 May
By Cil
Chris! You're adorable in both looks and personality! Nevertheless, you MUST go SLOW in puruing a woman if you want successful results. It's not JUST that you would appear desperate if you go too fast, but the REAL ISSUE is TRUST. This is the number one thing that's so important to women, regarding men. Although respect can be immediate, TRUST TAKES TIME TO BUILD. Your goal is to make her comfortable with you. There are no short cuts. (Plus if you do this, and you dont become lovers.... you will have a good friend in the end). When it comes to building a relationship with a woman that you're interested in, but dont know yet. Depending on how often you see her, my suggestion is to do each of the following steps one day / week at a time in order to BUILD HER TRUST IN YOU:
1) Get noticed. Walk, stand, or sit in her line of sight.
2) Make short initial eye contact. See if she returns it.
3) Make a longer eye contact, but dont stare. See if she returns the same.
4) Repeat # 2 with a smile and quickly look down. Do not show your teeth... as
that looks too excited.
5) Repeat # 3 with a smile, and turn away as to go do something.
6) Look for an opportunity to say something in a fun, but extremely brief way. (Ex:
she drops her towel at the gym... you pick it up, smiling, hand it to her and
say "Hey Cinderella!" Then turn, walk away still smiling- before she has a
chance to speak.
7) Watch her patterns. Plan it so you two intersect at the same place at the same
time without appearing as though you planned it. With a big smile, give her a
"Hey, how ya doing?" and walk the opposite direction of where she's going.
8) Repeat #7, but this time see if she slows down to talk. If so, then add
something positive or a question like "Good to see you again. You seem to be a
regular here. Do you work out everyday?"
9) Find a non-chalaunt way to briefly sit near her. Give her a chance to make eye
contact and smile at you. If she does, try to speak briefly with her about
something positive about the weather, or the place where you're at, or
something in the news.... or better yet, something significant that you both have
in common.
10) Continue # 9 until you sense that she's really comfortable. Start asking her
questions to find out more about her. If possible, ask someone tight lipped
who can tell you if she's available, and any other info about her.
11) If she's available, and shows interest, then work up a plan to see her in a group
setting of some sort.
12) Repeat # 11 and exchange phone numbers. Call her. Again go slow. Start
with short conversations and slowly make them longer.
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