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You probably give better advice than most paid advice columnists, right? You were kind enough to solve Dave and Ethan's dating dilemma, and now they're back -- with a buddy. This time around, their friend Chris has a question. Leave a comment with your advice.Chris's quandary: Chris isn't sure when he should let a girl know how he feels -- and sometimes he can come on a little strong.
Click on the video below for more info.
Ladies, let's help him out. Should Chris keep his feelings close, or let it all hang out? Let him know in the comments.
About our Charity Cases: Dave and Ethan live in New York and go on lots of double dates together. They like laughing and cuddling (with women -- not each other) and hate crazy girls. Chris is a writer and performer in New York City. He also teaches and builds things.
Got a question? Need some girl advice? Contact us at julie@lemondrop.com and we'll make sure you get the help you want!
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Wednesday 08 April
By Coco
Chris, you look kind of like an adorable troll doll. My advice to you would be to strip naked, shove a rhinestone in your navel and show up at this girl's house. She won't know whether to have sex with you or collect you.
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Thursday 09 April
By becky
hahaha, best comment EVER.
Wednesday 08 April
By Kendra
I think that you shouldnt change... I a girl somewhere will love you the way you are! maybe stay away from big gifts, start off small and then get big... thats all i can say!!!
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Saturday 11 April
By Kendra is stupid
Start off with small gifts and get big? That's your advice? You're on meth. Things like that are why relationships fail. Stop expecting rewards and you might meet a guy who doesn't cheat on you.
Thursday 09 April
By Channa
Play it closer to the chest. If a girl knows you are "sprung" too soon, you will look desperate. She will assume that you are just looking for a girlfriend, ANY girlfriend.
Take it slow and make her wonder a little bit. "Longing" is healthy.
When the moment arrives...ask her formally to be exclusive and if you may call her your Girlfriend...never assume it, she may still be dating other men. This will set a tone of respect and self confidence (which is incredibly sexy) early on.
Good Luck!
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Thursday 09 April
By sasha
you guys really aren't funny anymore. time to think of something else.
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Thursday 09 April
By recklessabandon
Just like a guy, every girl likes a little bit of a challenge; and by that I mean EVERY girl. Of course you should be yourself, but at the same time, you can make the relationship by playing the "courting" game a bit. Make her work for it! When she does something sweet for you, THEN reward her, and make sure she knows why. Bonus: she'll know you are really paying attention to her.
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Thursday 09 April
By lauragilbert08
It depends on the economy of the girl. If she's uglier than you, you can show all your cards and it won't matter. If she's hotter than you or out of your league in any way, you have to be a little withholding to get her to stay curious and crave your approval.
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Thursday 09 April
By DorisBK
This is a tough one. I've been on both sides of this equation. I think if you like a girl, don't be obsessed right away, however, don't play it cool once you're a few months into a relationship either. Some guys keep it cool for super long, and it gets annoying. Lower your guard eventually! Great vids guys.
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Thursday 09 April
By Kat
Well personally, I think it pays off to withhold a little on that front. When you keep SOME of your feelings to yourself, it makes for a more exciting relationship from the start. It gives you more to talk about on dates since all of your cards aren't out on the table, and the girl isn't sure of how much you like her. Butterflies in the stomach seems to come to mind. When you eventually come out and say how you feel about her, she'll know you mean it more, thean if you say it 2 dates in.
Using myself as an example, a guy that I am currently seeing isn't overly affectionate with me and it seemingly makes me want him more since I'm the type of girl that loses a little respect for a guy when he seems too interested too fast.
Bottom line is, don't come off too emotionally ready to be in a relationship, even if you are.
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Saturday 11 April
By naynay
chris- you have mad capital. you're hot, can finish a sentence, have all your hair (possibly others) and are successfully wearing a shirt. good on YOU.
that said, you shouldn't have to hold back. but, you live in new york , dare i guess brooklyn, where people are programmed to compete, test, overanalyze and compensate. so unfortunately, you're dealing with an entire populus' neuroses and have to adjust accordingly- play it cool.
but the great thing is? if its the right lady, there is no real wrong move. we only need the games and to channel Iceman from top gun when it's the wrong lady.
on the other issue between the guys on either side of you- i dont know the back story because i just found this website, but i think the friend should have gone ahead and dated that girl. why hold back someone else's potential? better to be the cool friend than the hurt (and possibly resented) friend.
*n
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Sunday 12 April
By doctorlove
go to the television show gossip girl and watch chuck bass and then think what would he do in this situation. now that youve done that look at what kind of loser approach about feelings u were thinking of and meet that in the middle of what chuck does and youll get yourself a girl
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Tuesday 14 April
By Lola
Chris should express his feelings but not right away. Wait until the third date. Don't profess any love for her but tell her you enjoy being with her. Coming on real strong very early on makes a woman feel you are like this with everyone because you haven't even got to know her yet. Do not buy anything very expensive for her until you have entered into a serious relationship.
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Tuesday 14 April
By Vicki
Chris you shouldn't lay all your cards out like Dave said. I dated a guy who did that and he got extremely annoying, and I felt he was needy. I didn't like being asked what I was doing all the time or being called all the time. A girl needs her space as much as a guy does. Sure it's nice if you randomly think of her and call her up, but not ALL the time. Make her guess what you're thinking. Girls like the frustration sometimes of relationships and you not paying that much attention to her will make her try harder to get you to notice her.
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Wednesday 15 April
By Sofia
You should just go with the flow. Obviously the relationship is still new, otherwise you wouldn't be asking this type of question.
People that have been in a relationship for an extended amount of time are usually comfortable with one another; they tend not to question whether or not they're revealing too much 'emotionally'.
Since you're not in that range yet , why not just relax and get more comfortable? Is there a reason to rush? After all, spending time together will just cause things to naturally come out-- including how you both feel.
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Saturday 18 April
By Lore
I'd say be honest about liking her and such- but don't be overwhelming. Nothing pushes me away from a guy who starts being... over excited too soon. The way I see it, even after a few dates, yeah- you can like a person, but you haven't started to really KNOW that person yet... At least with me, when people start latching on very strongly, very quickly, I feel it isn't that they really like or love me- because they really don't know ME yet... but it feels like I'm really just interchangeable to them, and I could be any woman...
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Sunday 19 April
By People who leave stupid comments are a waste of time
How about you just tell her your exact situation? Be honest. Tell her that you don't mean to come off too strong, but that you like her a lot. Let her know about your predicament and that you're insecure about telling her.
How she reacts should be an eye-opener for you, anyways. I, for one, would appreciate the honesty....but people are different.
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Wednesday 22 April
By Kate
Saying you're in love on a second date, buying an expensive gift on the third date = going overboard.
Making her guess whether or not you like her, seeming slightly disinterested in her, always waiting for her to show interest first = holding back too much.
Some girls have posted that they like the frustration of not knowing if a guy isn't them, these are also girls who like a little drama. That doesn't sound like you, but if you like a little tumultuous drama making her earn your approval is probably a good way to go.
Honestly though, its hard to mess up by being yourself with the right girl.
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Friday 01 May
By Molly
I dated a guy that pretended to be someone he's not to get my attention. He faked it. Yeah, guys can fake it too. At some point people start being exactly who they are, which that guy did, and we broke up. Be yourself, just tone down the gift thing and use different words to express yourself if you're scared you might run her off. Instead of saying "I love you" on the 2nd or 3rd date, tell her she's "the cat's meow". As far as gift buying, don't pull out the plastic, use the cash in your pocket. That'll help you curb the expensive gift trap.
By the way, I seriously adore you, you have the most incredible hair, I just want to pull it... can you buy me a new car????
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Friday 01 May
By Jessica
I think that if you are a person with strong feelings that occur rapidly in a relationship, that should be something to embrace. Yes, going all out and laying it all on the table may be the wrong move, depending on how long you've been dating. There are many circumstances that can change my answer. Have you slept together, have you seen her naked, have you passed gas in front of her yet, etc. If you feel so strongly for her, maybe instead of saying it, show it. Devote more time to making her feel special and see the gentle, full-loving person you are before you let her know that she drives you bananas! Maybe that way she wont be scared by it, and able to see that you like her alot and know that you're not psycho.
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