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Welcome to Lemondrop's relationship column where your questions get answered by real-life platonic pals Shari Albert and Mitchell Fink.

"I recently quit smoking and have put on about 25 pounds. I met a guy online -- using pictures of the 'old' me -- and we had a couple of really fun dates (including a good kiss).

"He hasn't called me for a third date yet. I was wondering whether or not to bring up the fact that I know I'm heavier now. Should I call him?"

Shari says:
First off: YAY for quitting smoking. I've done it and it's a BITCH but worth the temporary weight gain. Who wants to be the skinniest gal in the cancer ward?

Secondly: Do you want a man or a shallow d-bag? If he's not willing to take it further because of your weight, then, to quote Joan Rivers, he needs to "Grow up!"

He obviously found you attractive enough to ask you on a second date! Whatever you do: Do not be insecure. It's your body -- love it, own it, shake it.

Click here for the rest -- and Mitchell's take.

I find it interesting that we rarely address this issue with men. The media seems to glorify the chubby dude with the skinny model chick. Check out any Seth Rogen film, or turn on the TV. We never ask, "What hell is SHE doing with HIM?" We seem to accept 20 or 50 extra pounds on the guys without question. I personally don't mind a little "husky" in my man, but I also don't discriminate.

Unfortunately we're in a society now where being a size 8 woman is "plus size". Let me remind you all that Marilyn Monroe supposedly was a size 14 at her heaviest and was still smokin'.

All men I know prefer a woman who isn't self-conscious in the bedroom and has some curves to grab, smack, fondle, nuzzle ... well, you get the picture. Otherwise, they might as well sleep with a boy.

Just ask your friends who they'd rather do:



I say give it a week and then call him and leave an "easy, breezy, beautiful cover girl" kind of message. Keep your message light -- if he asks you out again, great; if not, his loss. Do not ask him out by any means. After all, you don't want a guy who doesn't pursue you.

Mitchell says:
Yikes. Thanks for the visual Shari. I think I might go be sick.

Regardless of whether he calls you back, let me say that super-skinny is NOT hot. Sorry ladies, no more heroin chic.

As long as you didn't post a picture like Keira and then show up looking like Marilyn after a three-week cheeseburger binge, you are fine. Sexy is about attitude and confidence, not weight. Own it.

Now you had a great time and you haven't heard from him? Hmmmm ... has he heard from you? Take the bull by the horns here and call him.

Every once in a while, guys like a woman to take control. Men are human and like to be pursued as well.

But, if you do call him, DO NOT make any apologies for being heavier. You are what you are. If you own that, then no matter what it looks like, it will be sexy.

Shari Albert and Mitchell Fink are Lemondrop's resident love advisers. Click here to read more about them, and leave your burning relationship question in the comments.


1,600 Calories...and Worth It?

    13. Funnel Cake from a Creepy Guy at the Fair, Calories: 760, Total Fat: 44 g
    It's like a rite of passage when you go to a boardwalk or carnival. Chase it with some cotton candy and then get back to Skee-Ball with a renewed sense of energy.

    Getty Images

    12. Jamba Juice Peanut Butter Moo'd Power Smoothie, Calories: 1,170, Fat: 30 g
    ... from a smoothie! Tacking the word "smoothie" at the end of a name instantly makes it better for you, so no biggie. That's why we have entire-pepperoni-pizza smoothies for lunch every day.

    newyork808, Flickr

    11. Applebee's Sizzling Apple Pie with Ice Cream, Calories: 1,086, Total Fat: 56 g
    There's nothing more American than warm apple pie -- that has over a thousand calories. The ice cream melts over the sizzling sugary crust, creating a hot-and-cold classic for your piehole.

    Applebees.com

    10. Dairy Queen Georgia Mud Fudge Blizzard, Calories: 1,490, Total Fat: 83 g
    When something has "dairy" and a reference to the south in its name, you can bet it's going to err on the side of decadent.

    jmtimages, Flickr

    9. Chili's Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie, Calories: 1,600, Total Fat: 78 g
    Why have dessert when you can have novelty dessert?! It comes to your table fajita-style, sizzling in a cast iron skillet. And it's soaking in a vat of cinnamon butter. (Kind of like your heart.)

    Southeast Star, Flickr

    8. On the Border Chocolate Turtle Empanadas, Calories: 1,280, Fat: 81 g
    Really, how better to wash down a meal of fried flour, refried beans and guac than a pile of pastries filled with chocolate, caramel and pecans. With ice cream. Delicioso!

    ontheborder.com

    7. Don Pablo's Chocolate Volcano Cake, Calories: 1,380, Total Fat: 77g
    (Not to be confused with the 1997 film.) Take one chocolate cinnamon cake, drop it in a pool of molten chocolate butter sauce, scoop ice cream on top and shovel into maw. Burp.

    Amazon

    6. Friendly's Caramel Fudge Brownie Sundae, Calories: 1,530, Total fat: 70 g
    An Oreo brownie with five scoops of ice cream, hot fudge, caramel and whipped cream. Who could have guessed those ingredients would add up to such high digits? We blame new math.

    Friendlys.com

    5. Baskin-Robbins Heath Bar Shake, Calories: 2,310, Total Fat: 108 g
    We like our coffee like we like our men: blended with Heath ice cream and caramel and tastefully garnished with whipped cream and pieces of candy bars.

    BaskinRobbins.com

    4. Cosi Double Trouble Brownie Sundae, Calories: 1,594, Total Fat: 95 g
    "One warm chocolate brownie & one blondie topped with two scoops of vanilla ice cream, whipped cream & a cherry." Seven nights on the treadmill, alternating between self-loathing and considering eating another one when you get home.

    Laura Gilbert