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You probably give better advice than most paid advice columnists, right? Well, our friend Nick is ready to take you up on that. Leave a comment with your advice.
Nick's question: "I've been trying to show my girlfriend how to use iTunes with an external hard drive for the past couple of years, but she resists every time. Instead, I have to go step-by-step through the process with her, and it gets frustrating.
"The last time she asked for my help, I got fed up and snapped at her. I know I shouldn't have, but I was annoyed. Later I realized she was angry and I asked her what was wrong. Finally she admitted that she deleted some of her purchased songs -- just to spite me. What?
Ladies, let's help him out. Why is Nick's girlfriend acting so spiteful? Let him know in the comments.
About our Charity Case: Nick is a musician who runs his own record label and lives in Providence, R.I. Aside from music, Nick enjoys writing, politics, rock climbing, target practice and wasting time on the Internet. Got a question? Need some girl advice? Contact us at julie@lemondrop.com and we'll make sure you get the help you need!
Comments:
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Thursday 02 April
By maleach1125
The answer is simple, she's IMMATURE!!! This chick really needs to take a big girl pill and learn to do the iTunes process herself. Then this petty exchange wouldn't have transpire in the first place!
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Thursday 02 April
By Nichole
Poor Nick! Listen, I'm also the annoying girlfriend that likes to let her man do those electronic-manly things for her as well...BUT, it sounds like your lady needs to grow up a bit, (sorry chica). When she gets a wee bit older, she will be wise enough to communicate these types of things with you, rather than pull some crazy 16 year old bullshit like this.
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Friday 10 April
By dave
The answer is simple, Nick--leave her. Find yourself a girlfriend thats more tech-savvy. End of story.
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Thursday 02 April
By rose
Ok. Your girlfriend doesn't understand how to download and she still doesn't get it when you explain it slowly, so she feels stupid and then she gets defensive and angry because you get annoyed and impatient with her which makes her feel even more inept. In the future, just do it for her and forget trying to teach her and my guess is she will be relieved.
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Friday 03 April
By nicole
Ask her.
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Saturday 04 April
By Margaret
It sounds like your girlfriend doesn't like being taught because she feels inferior. She resists you 'cause she resents the fact that you know how to do it and she doesn't. So, she needs to get over that or things will remain the same or grow worse.
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Sunday 05 April
By Devynn
she could be wanting you to do it for her b/c it makes her feel like she's got a man who can take care of her. esp if she's not tech savvy to being with. and she deleted those songs b/c she was mad at you for going off on her. she already probably feels a lil down b/c she isn't as tech savvy as you or as she wants to be. you going off on her didn't help things. if you don't want to do it for her anymore, JUST TELL HER SO! but don't be surprised if she continues to resent you for feeling like helping her is some chore for you, b/c that's how she feels and that's what it looks like. if you find that doing this thing for isn't that big of a deal (esp if you're just doing it as apposed to trying to tell/show her how), then just do it. and remember, there are PLENTY of things in life that women can do just as well as men, but we ask the men in our lives to do them for us b/c it makes us feel cared for/loved/protected. it's the nature of the beast. how you respond to our requests is a big deal for us. just keep in mind that if you don't do it, and don't want to, then we WILL find someone who will. just sayin'!
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Tuesday 07 April
By Meg
I'm going with the consensus - deleting her own songs is just childish. Like a kid who'd rather no one get to play with the toy b/c they don't want to share, she's behaving in a self-defeating way because...? I'm not sure what the exact motivation is, but I can tell you that she's NOT motivated by the need to communicate like an adult and take responsibility for her own actions.
Honestly, if she's like this over a freaking ipod, I can't imagine how she deals with real challenges. If she behaves like this in other areas, you don't have a girlfriend - you have custody of an overgrown child.
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Tuesday 07 April
By john
well, i thought that maybe if you create a booting flash movie upon start of the computer software, maybe she'll just watch it one day, might take u some time, so hurry
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Tuesday 07 April
By kort
Hey Nick! Maybe she just doesn't get it. She might need you to explain it a lot more. She may not be that fast of a learner or she just doesn't care. If she doesn't care that may be why she hasn't learned it yet. As for her deleting songs, I will admit is very childish, she may have not known that she was deleting them. It's possible! If that is the case please help her out. You may want to get instructions for her online and send them to her through e-mail. I'm sorry the two of you are fighting, I hope things get better!
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Wednesday 08 April
By Heather
If someone was trying to show me how to do something and I wasn't getting it so they started getting irritated/pissy with me because I still didn't get it....I would probably fuck stuff up on purpose too... not my owne shit though lol. Oh looky looky, what's this button here do??? OOOOPS!
Don't be an ass just because you get it and she doesn't. Maybe she wants to know but you make her feel stupid the way you explain it to her.
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Wednesday 22 April
By Kate
I'm sure no one is going to see this, but....
Why do you keep showing your girlfriend how to use an external hard drive when she doesn't want to? It is like it is necessary for Itunes.
I'm sure you're trying to be helpful, but it really isn't helpful when it is something the other person doesn't want.
Its kind of like if your girlfriend thought you looked great in pink shirts and kept buying them for you even though you never wore them.
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