When I was first introduced to the man my old company had hired to serve in the newly created position of Chief Operations Officer, I was taken by his twinkling blue eyes. And then he opened his mouth.
He was the new guy brought in to needle us old-timers, and I soon bristled at both his outsider status and his insistence on implementing tedious procedures that didn't jibe with our office culture. He was cute, sure, but he was also a royal pain in the ass. I found myself immediately disliking him.
If only it had stayed that way.
One Friday night, I found myself stuck in the office with him, each of us trying to wade through piles of work. It had been a tough week, and we decided to call a truce and have a little pity party at a nearby bar. A steady supply of cocktails loosened our tongues as we bitched about the demands of our jobs, and before I knew it, we were in a cab bound for his apartment. I went home on Sunday afternoon.
Click here to read what happened next ...
That Monday, I braced myself for the inevitable flurry of awkward glances and maybe even a lecture from him on "crossing the line." Instead, I was greeted with a sly wink, and I immediately felt that delicious rush you get when you have a secret. The next night, we went out for happy hour drinks with a few work colleagues. He left early, then sent me a text to meet him. I drained my beer, said my goodbyes and made my getaway.
Before long I was spending three or four nights a week at his place. Being roommates with one of my co-workers, and close friends with another, I longed to tell them about my improbable relationship. But the stakes were too high. He worried that his job would be in jeopardy if word of our dating got out, so I bit my tongue. The situation was further complicated by the fact that his roommate started dating a co-worker's friend, leading to some comical "Three's Company"-style scenarios involving me sneaking into the apartment while the guys distracted her.
Take That, HR
In hindsight, it was the thrill that kept us going. I suddenly took a selfless interest in helping man a table at intern job fairs, where we'd hand out business cards, then make out in a cab on the way back to the office. Most mornings we'd take a cab from his place but have it make two stops, dropping each of us a block in either direction from the office so we wouldn't get caught.
Our subterfuge couldn't have been that convincing, however. People were constantly asking us if there was something going on; one of the top bosses even casually asked him if we were dating. He said no, and when he told me about it later, I panicked. If she suspected, everyone in the office must already be on to us. I wanted to come clean, but he begged me to keep it quiet.
Just Not a Good Fit
Things changed when he was let go -- not because of our relationship, but because he just wasn't the right fit for his job. He fell into a funk, and I was thrust into the role of supportive girlfriend/spy, bringing him dinner while he pumped me for information about work. We stopped caring about who saw us together, a fact we lamented one night over margaritas. Would it be as fun if we had nobody to hide our relationship from?
The answer: It wasn't. Turns out pretty much everyone at the office was already wise to our liaison, and I had evidently burned some bridges with friends by not admitting the truth. Though he soon found another job, his constant questions and bitterness about where I still worked were a drag.
One day, I showed up at his apartment with an empty tote bag that I filled with left-behind clothes and toiletries. Then I went to a bar and bought myself a congratulatory drink, leaving with the bartender's phone number in my purse.
And just like that, the thrill was back.
Beth Brennan is a Lemondrop contributor who works in media in New York.
Tell Us: Have you ever dated a boss or co-worker? Did it work out, or end in disaster?













Comments:
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Friday 03 April
By Mark
Thrill, huh? I guess that's what relationships are to you. It's women like you who are the reason that good men have such a hard time getting pussy. I think that women like you should be raped by every man you turned down because of the fact that he wasn't "thrilling" enough.
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Thursday 16 April
By Harry
And I think YOU should get raped for being such a fucking idiot. It's assholes like you who make women afraid to talk to men. No doubt you're an internet tough-guy saying disgusting shit like that, but when it comes to real life you're too much of a twerp to strike up conversation with a woman and then you blame them for your own pathetic inadequacies. Get a life.
Thursday 16 April
By kim
Mark,
Don't take it out on all woman kind just because you can't get any.
And p.s. - you need some serious counseling.
Sunday 05 April
By John
Beth your a slutty girl. Not, just kidding. You used each other and had a pretty good time doing it . Right?
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Sunday 05 April
By Gena
I was approached by an executive who I had my eye on for a long time at work. At first it was curiosity and then it became a power thing and thrill. Eventually, the relationship evolved into a mutual respect, loving friendship and at times hot steamy sex. We were made for each other but can't be with each other. A shame really.......or is it the perfect relationship?
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Tuesday 07 April
By Meg
Whoa, Mark, you're unhinged. You don't sound like a good guy at all - and maybe the fact that you would support raping a woman is the reason women want nothing to do with you.
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Tuesday 07 April
By Chele
Yes I did get involved with a co-worker and it was cool, but soon after we started talking everyone knew and was in our biz. It lasted for almost 3 years, but the stress and drama of having to deal with everyone gossiping about what we were supposedly doing with other co-workers and stuff, just made the relationship take a bad turn. We tried to make it work, and even got engaged but at the end it didn't work and I ended up getting fired because of his temper, stupid right. But it's cool I did learn to never "poop where u make your money" so I don't recomend it.
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Tuesday 07 April
By suzieb
Yes.I ahd an affair with my boss and to make it a double taboo..he was black.I suppose it was a combination of the thrill and the curiosity of the "size thing" with black men I went for it...we has sex on several occasions till I ended it on fear of my husband finding out.
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Sunday 12 April
By john
that couldnt have been ur last shot at black men
Thursday 09 April
By Diana B.
Ever a pig knows better than to s--t where it eats!
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Tuesday 14 April
By Cat
Uhm well im currently having an affair with my boss ( i guess you can call it that!) he's twice my age (im 20), divorced, smart, hot and boy this man makes me feel things no other dude my age has ever made me feel. We havent had sex just yet but i can't wait. I know is not professional at all, but what can i do? I really really like him, or maybe i just really really want him, in not exaclty sure, but it feels awesome to have a secret romance with the boss anyway! My co-workers say i like him and i have to deny it all the time, one of them even says that the man would probably bend over backward for me but i try not to pay attention and just laugh it off...i know he can lose everything if we ever get caught (God Forbid!!!) so i try my hardest not to be so obvious but sometimes he throws it off and puts himself on the spot. I wonder if it'll change if we end up "doing it"
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Thursday 16 April
By Michele
I dated a coworker once. It was great. I met him one night when 3 male coworkers and I went out to dinner and drinks after a long week. I was new to the office and just switched cubicles and since the job was commission based the original 2 female coworkers that invited me decided not to go as they were unhappy with their checks. It was a blast. I was a tomboy as a child so i had no problem just being one of the boys. Me and one coworker hit it off and spent the rest of the weekend hanging out. We actually wind up having 3 dates in 3 days. I loved him sitting directly infront of my cubicle, going to the gym after work, hanging out after the gym and then going our separate ways to chat on the phone. We'd call each other when we were late and sometimes ate lunch togfether. we kept it low key during office hours. It ended bc we never officially became bf/gf and he wanted to lie about dating other people (dont lie to me) and the sex was wack. but minus those things it was great, we enjoyed the sae things from food to movies to clothes. I miss it sometimes but I am content where i am now. Godd learning experience. :-)
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Thursday 07 May
By overit81
I dated my boss if fact we lived together I found out the person he really was and left and lost my job,home and furniture. Not just that we didnt get along - he hacked into my email- phone records sent thugs over to my ex and was seeing several prostitutes.
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Wednesday 24 June
By Lavinia
I might have to agree with Mark on this one (not the rape thing obviously). It's quite sad that the only reason you were in the relationship was because the "thrill". I'm glad you broke it off when you realized there was nothing there, but doing that over and over again might have some dire consequences.
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