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Zen Master, the (n.): A mellow guy, hell-bent on spiritual enlightenment. He is like if a fortune cookie mated with a vial of patchouli oil. He reads self-help books and probably has or has had a ponytail at some point in his adult life.

He isn't any fun to people watch with because he cannot be catty. It's, like, not in his chemical makeup. He always takes the high road. ALWAYS.

He brings his own bags to Whole Foods, and he goes on juice cleanses every few months to get rid of negative energy.

The Dude Dictionary is a collection of males and behaviors lovingly catalogued by Shmitten Kitten creator Anna Goldfarb. Got a dictionary entry you'd like to add? Let us know.