We've been inundated lately with stories of Craigslist's Casual Encounters being used for revenge. In the latest, 65-year-old Barbara Goddard has been suffering at the hands of an online tormentor who keeps posting ads that direct people to her home for an evening of casual sex. The abuse has been going on for 18 months, and when Goddard posted a sign on her door warning Craigslist respondees of the set-up, her harasser adapted, including the line "Ignore notice on front door" in his next ad.
You're thinking, This can't be legal, right? Unfortunately, it kind of is. As Marc Fisher of The Washington Post reports, there is a "void" in the law when it comes to online harassment. So while there are plenty of suggestions for how to prevent harassment, there's not so much you can do if you've already got perverts on your porch.
Even the laws that do exist are difficult to enforce, since the Web encourages anonymity, allowing perpetrators to change identities as easily as e-mail addresses.
But what about when the situation goes beyond annoying? Will a thwarted suitor have to turn violent or someone post an ad inciting physical harm before the law catches up to technology?
Ten Signs He Could Be a Stalker
He'll try to befriend your friends and family. In a healthy relationship, this is great and what you want (it's a sign that he wants to integrate your lives and get closer as a couple). But if a guy is just an acquaintance or friend and starts moving in on your circle, be wary....especially if your friends or family members mention not really liking this person. "It's a way for him to keep tabs on you, not a genuine interest in you," says Dr. McCoy.
'Cape Fear,' Getty Images
He shows up in inappropriate places. Beyond first dates and traits, some of these clues start to surface when stalking behavior has started. For instance, if he drives by your home or office at times he's not supposed to be there. "Stalkers tend to be somewhat paranoid because they think everyone thinks the same way they do and so he'll pop up in places where he shouldn't be running into you accidentally which shows you're being followed or he's paying too close attention to your schedule," says Dr. McCoy.
'Secret Window,' Columbia Pictures
He'll be excessively generous. He's trying to sweep you off your feet, but also claim you as his own property. "This guy will constantly be sending cards, flowers, gifts...all lovely things but he may take it to a level way beyond the average person courting someone," says Dr. McCoy. He may think that his extravagance will buy your affection.
'The Cable Guy,' Columbia Pictures
He's likely quite secretive. Don't mistake this guy as just the brooding, silent type. He could intentionally not be giving you much about his past because he doesn't really want you to know it. "One thing about these types...this is likely not the first time they've done it and you're not the first one they've done it to," says Dr. McCoy. "They may even be secretive in what they write. I've noticed that some of these types don't like to say much in an email because they don't want to leave a written track of what they're doing or saying."
'One Hour Photo,' Fox Searchlight
He looks for particularly nurturing women. This type wants someone whom he knows will feel sorry for him if he tells her a story about his childhood or some other sadness in his life (whether it's true or not). It's part of the control. If you show you care for him in any small way, he thinks he's winning.
'There's Something About Mary,' Everett Collection
He doesn't get the word "no." They will argue with you, attempting to argue away all your reasons for saying no (hoping that eventually you'll say "yes" just to stop the argument). "Remember that it is all about him in this situation...he's not thinking about you," says Dr. McCoy. "If you're saying 'no' you're not giving him something he wants." And what he ultimately wants is control of you.
'Chuck and Buck,' Artisan Entertainment
He'll move really fast. A man with potential stalker tendencies will do anything he can to make sure you have a "relationship" as quickly as possible. He may even start offering something called "false pairings" to try and establish that you're a duo. "You may have just met and he'll start throwing around the 'we' word in phrases like 'We have the same tastes in this' or 'I bet we'd like that,'" says Dr. McCoy. "It gives the impression that there is some sort of relationship when there is none yet."
'Fear,' Universal
He has no problem lying. Whether it's about something in his past, his accomplishments or whatever, these types won't think twice about stating untruths. This may also include him being a braggart about fantastic future, and often unrealistic, plans he has (that will likely never actually happen). "Don't go by anything that he says, go by what he does," says Dr. McCoy.
'Down in the Valley,' Thinkfilm
He is very controlling. Stalkers feel a need to be in control and don't like situations where they aren't the ones calling the shots. "If a man always has to pick the restaurant, for instance, or isn't okay going on a different time or day than he wanted, it could be a red flag," says Dr. Dorothy McCoy, a psychotherapist and author of The Manipulative Man. "Men like this are not happy with a situation if they can't control the elements."
'Sleeping With the Enemy,' 20th Century Fox
His emotions may not fit. These types tend to always be wearing a mask of some kind because they're covering up so much. However, you can get a glimpse of this mask if he says something about his emotional state but it doesn't register physically. "He might say 'I'm so sad' but there is no facial expression of sadness to indicate that he really is," says Dr. McCoy. "If you catch yourself thinking 'But he doesn't LOOK sad' it could be a clue – it's very confusing to the rest of us who when we feel sad, show it."
'I Know What You Did Last Summer' - Everett Collection












Comments:
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Thursday 26 March
By dealing with nasty neighbor
We have a nasty, nasty neighbor we are dealing with. We called the police about her harassment, they talked to her about it. Then the beotch did it again! I just turned the tables on them, and started filming the jerk for our next call to the police. The neighbor refuses to leave us alone! We want peace and can't get it...outing them is a good idea......Unfortunatly we can't prosecute, so we have been told..because a CRIME WASN'T COMMITED....well what about all the harassment we are going through? How can we stop this?
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Thursday 26 March
By Steph
It's so incredibly possible that she did not publicy post her address at all.
Think about it! You're trying to sell a car or something on Craigslist. A few different people contact you asking to come see the thing you are selling. So you tell them where you are located. One of those people turns out to be a pervert. And before you know it you are being harrassed by someone that you cannot pinpoint.
It's scarily easy for something like this to happen...
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Thursday 26 March
By Ethical
What COWARDS.....You get your kicks out of harassing the elderly people?
Craig's List was set up to help American's, and people like this only destroy things. I hope they do finally catch they "COWARDS".
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Thursday 26 March
By don
move to florida. here we could shoot them if they were on our property and say they said they were going to attack us and we would not be prosecuted.
get your state to pass the same law. you will need it soon when obama runs out of money for the poor and they come to take your food and when that runs out they will eat you and your children
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Wednesday 29 April
By Pep
This is so not cool...this happened to me the only thing different the person was posting free sex with my 6 year daughter and placing my phone number on the ad for Craigslist.....The sad part is men were actually calling. I hired someone to track down that IP address and it went straight to my neighbors house. I was able to prosecuted my neighbor for endangerment to a child and believe me he did not get what he deserved which should have been death in my eyes.
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Thursday 26 March
By Kate
Wow. Nice hobby.
PERV.
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Thursday 26 March
By jess
I think that this is hilarious. I'm sorry people don't want revenge on someone for nothing. She is probably a mean old lady who the whole neighborhood hates. If you don't want bad things to happen to do, don't do crappy things in the first place. Gotta give the person credit, that's a creative revenge tactic.
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Thursday 26 March
By Self-Evident Truth
As an attorney, I cannot believe anyone calling themselves a journalist (or maybe I am wrong, you may very well be a purveyor of incorrect information to perpetuate nonsense like this to further your aspirations to be mediocre. I don't particularly care for your reasons, nor do I care for you,and will only address those who are lured in by more sensational stupid remarks from someone who knows nothing). The fact of the internet now being in existence does not change the law, despite what is said above. You as consumers and humans, and those like this individual (who I will assume without a reliable source is actually a real person) are being harassed, stalked, and victimized and you have legal rights. The police departments each have their own computer crimes division, the state's attorney for your state is an additional resource, as well as your U.S. Attorney and the Attorney General, the FCC, and the FBI. The internet crimes laws are codified in state and federal statutes, and ADD TO, do not detract, from your rights. Don't believe the hype, and don't bother reading things you know in your hearts are untrue. I can tell you that the statement that these criminal acts are affected by the internet in two ways that MAKE THESE CRIMES MORE SEVERELY PUNISHED: (1) the statutes I mentioned above add to, and do not substitute for or are used as an either-or basis. You commit one, you commit all the others; and, (2) The victim now has two perpetrators (at LEAST) to proceed against for remedy: (a) the (and the mean age of people committing internet crimes of this variety is surprisingly young in the mid teens) individual(s) committing the act; AND (b) the website permitting the acts. The webmaster or administrator of the site is charged with the duty to read all the content and filter it, it is not sufficient or reasonable discharge of that duty to skim headlines. They are grossly negligent as it is, and clients of mine who have had this happen to them are surprised to learn that, and further surprised at how effective a letter to the administrator advising them that this is occurring, they have a duty to prevent criminal acts on their websites, and that they are now on actual notice of their continued criminal conduct which makes them, if it continues, accessories to the crime, for which you are prepared to proceed, and be prepared to proceed accordingly with the agencies. Print everything out daily, print your email, any response, and that will further arm you with objective evidence that this began on x date, continues, on y date, you notified the administrator and put them on "actual notice," ordering them to cease and desist, to remove all the threatening emails, (I'd give them three business days to do so, though that is generous in light of the terror she must be feeling, but never lower yourself to the level of vindictiveness, because the law IS on your side. There's no need to tell them all the evidence you've gathered by printing the nonsense, and if they don't comply within the time period you set, you have all of that documented by printing, printing, printing, and personally, I would like to see an administrator of any website try to explain to a judge that they are unable to read all its content - the logical question would be then why, if you are unable to protect your readers from posts on your website do you not shut your website down? The other argument of them "skimming headlines," that would probably get three to four words before a judge before they are removed from the courtroom. The laws and these agencies are here to help, you can help them by collecting this evidence, attempting to stop this by sending the administrator an email addressing the facts that they are to cease and desist, they are accomplices if they don't, and pursuing that. The webmasters aren't doing anything because no one seems to realize they are accountable also for what is on their site, and just as much as the perpetrator. Let the webmaster hunt the person down, they won't want to be prosecuted for the crimes, but they are as culpable. Try that. And don't let anyone sell you the lie that consumers have no recourse. It's nonsense.
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Thursday 26 March
By shel
Thursday 26 March
By Shel is an assNeutralReportPositiveNegative
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Shel you are reported... for being a stupid whiney baby snitch. Hope they find YOUR address and 'shel' out whats coming.
______Are the little teenie boppers out there in full force now? Shouldn't you be in SCHOOL?
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Thursday 26 March
By me
Personally, as many things as I've heard that happen through Craigslist leads me to believe that it should be shut down. It's ridiculous that people can just post anything they want there.
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Thursday 26 March
By Shel
Thursday 26 March
By HoorahNeutralReportPositiveNegative
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LOL What's the matter? Are you all mad because you are also on the deadbeat dad/mom list and you are afraid your name will appear also? I hope your ex's see these comments and put your name out there, too. Well deserved!!!
______Ummm, don't you think it's time to GROW UP? MANY of us (including myself) have experienced the *deadbeat dad* sh*t but don't need to plaster information out on the internet either like some stupid school kid. People that do this aren't any better than the deadbeat dad, if not worse. What are they teaching their kids by doing this? To be as assinine as them? Is THIS supposed to set some kind of example to their children? I wouldn't stoop so low as to act like Laurie Anderson has and I'm glad now that her EX has seen her posting so that he can get a lawyer for her harassment, instead of acting like a REAL MOTHER like she should have. This is NOT a good example of a mother figure by ANY means.
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Thursday 26 March
By me
I think "Shirley" must be one of those psycho people who do really ignorant things like that. Grow up people and get a life. This is not funny or cool. Just stupidity.......those who think it's funny are just as stupid as the ones who do it.
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Thursday 26 March
By BRiTNEY
Never involve in any real person over the net!! This stuff has plaqued mankind since they invented the phone. Be faceless with no address.
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Thursday 26 March
By matt
you cant blame the people that show up but i do feel it is wrong of who ever is posting the add they should be going to jail
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Friday 27 March
By JLS
First thing she should do is hire a private detective that will find out this bastard's IP address and subsequent home address. The FBI and local police use this method ALL the time when somebody hacks into a computer such as in a bank. Second, civil sue him. Hit him or his parents in the wallet. And finally, and this is ever so sweet, once you find out his identity, offer the entire store to every news organization surrounding you. That would reveal who did this to the community and hold the woman harmless from any lawsuit he could file against her. Game, set and match you bastard. You screwed with the WRONG woman.
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Monday 19 October
By Valeria
Hello-
I'm an Associate Producer for NBC Universal. I'm looking for a Cyber Bully to come on the show and give us a "peek" into the world of cyber bullying. They will not get in trouble, we simply would like to produce a segment to understand more about it, since it has become an issue in our society today.
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