We've been inundated lately with stories of Craigslist's Casual Encounters being used for revenge. In the latest, 65-year-old Barbara Goddard has been suffering at the hands of an online tormentor who keeps posting ads that direct people to her home for an evening of casual sex. The abuse has been going on for 18 months, and when Goddard posted a sign on her door warning Craigslist respondees of the set-up, her harasser adapted, including the line "Ignore notice on front door" in his next ad.
You're thinking, This can't be legal, right? Unfortunately, it kind of is. As Marc Fisher of The Washington Post reports, there is a "void" in the law when it comes to online harassment. So while there are plenty of suggestions for how to prevent harassment, there's not so much you can do if you've already got perverts on your porch.
Even the laws that do exist are difficult to enforce, since the Web encourages anonymity, allowing perpetrators to change identities as easily as e-mail addresses.
But what about when the situation goes beyond annoying? Will a thwarted suitor have to turn violent or someone post an ad inciting physical harm before the law catches up to technology?
Ten Signs He Could Be a Stalker
He'll try to befriend your friends and family. In a healthy relationship, this is great and what you want (it's a sign that he wants to integrate your lives and get closer as a couple). But if a guy is just an acquaintance or friend and starts moving in on your circle, be wary....especially if your friends or family members mention not really liking this person. "It's a way for him to keep tabs on you, not a genuine interest in you," says Dr. McCoy.
'Cape Fear,' Getty Images
He shows up in inappropriate places. Beyond first dates and traits, some of these clues start to surface when stalking behavior has started. For instance, if he drives by your home or office at times he's not supposed to be there. "Stalkers tend to be somewhat paranoid because they think everyone thinks the same way they do and so he'll pop up in places where he shouldn't be running into you accidentally which shows you're being followed or he's paying too close attention to your schedule," says Dr. McCoy.
'Secret Window,' Columbia Pictures
He'll be excessively generous. He's trying to sweep you off your feet, but also claim you as his own property. "This guy will constantly be sending cards, flowers, gifts...all lovely things but he may take it to a level way beyond the average person courting someone," says Dr. McCoy. He may think that his extravagance will buy your affection.
'The Cable Guy,' Columbia Pictures
He's likely quite secretive. Don't mistake this guy as just the brooding, silent type. He could intentionally not be giving you much about his past because he doesn't really want you to know it. "One thing about these types...this is likely not the first time they've done it and you're not the first one they've done it to," says Dr. McCoy. "They may even be secretive in what they write. I've noticed that some of these types don't like to say much in an email because they don't want to leave a written track of what they're doing or saying."
'One Hour Photo,' Fox Searchlight
He looks for particularly nurturing women. This type wants someone whom he knows will feel sorry for him if he tells her a story about his childhood or some other sadness in his life (whether it's true or not). It's part of the control. If you show you care for him in any small way, he thinks he's winning.
'There's Something About Mary,' Everett Collection
He doesn't get the word "no." They will argue with you, attempting to argue away all your reasons for saying no (hoping that eventually you'll say "yes" just to stop the argument). "Remember that it is all about him in this situation...he's not thinking about you," says Dr. McCoy. "If you're saying 'no' you're not giving him something he wants." And what he ultimately wants is control of you.
'Chuck and Buck,' Artisan Entertainment
He'll move really fast. A man with potential stalker tendencies will do anything he can to make sure you have a "relationship" as quickly as possible. He may even start offering something called "false pairings" to try and establish that you're a duo. "You may have just met and he'll start throwing around the 'we' word in phrases like 'We have the same tastes in this' or 'I bet we'd like that,'" says Dr. McCoy. "It gives the impression that there is some sort of relationship when there is none yet."
'Fear,' Universal
He has no problem lying. Whether it's about something in his past, his accomplishments or whatever, these types won't think twice about stating untruths. This may also include him being a braggart about fantastic future, and often unrealistic, plans he has (that will likely never actually happen). "Don't go by anything that he says, go by what he does," says Dr. McCoy.
'Down in the Valley,' Thinkfilm
He is very controlling. Stalkers feel a need to be in control and don't like situations where they aren't the ones calling the shots. "If a man always has to pick the restaurant, for instance, or isn't okay going on a different time or day than he wanted, it could be a red flag," says Dr. Dorothy McCoy, a psychotherapist and author of The Manipulative Man. "Men like this are not happy with a situation if they can't control the elements."
'Sleeping With the Enemy,' 20th Century Fox
His emotions may not fit. These types tend to always be wearing a mask of some kind because they're covering up so much. However, you can get a glimpse of this mask if he says something about his emotional state but it doesn't register physically. "He might say 'I'm so sad' but there is no facial expression of sadness to indicate that he really is," says Dr. McCoy. "If you catch yourself thinking 'But he doesn't LOOK sad' it could be a clue – it's very confusing to the rest of us who when we feel sad, show it."
'I Know What You Did Last Summer' - Everett Collection












Comments:
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Thursday 26 March
By Eric Johnson
That's very creative
Reply
Thursday 26 March
By karen
Wish it was my front door these moron's would walk up to.
My 2 Rescued pitt bulls would make him wish he was never born.
Ahh I just love my babies !!!!!
Thursday 26 March
By CarmenSanDiego inLosAngeles
Send them to MY door..... I got a Mossberg 12 gauge..... just pumping a round into the chamber is enough to make them think about how worthless their life has become for going to the door of an elderly stranger for obvious bullsh*t reasons. F*cking lemmings doing whatever they read on Craig's List. I sincerely hope one of them gets very messed up in his endevor to harrass this woman.
Thursday 26 March
By ezsznative
your stupid to give his address. go to court get an order do the right thing you just asking for trouble this way
Reply
Thursday 26 March
By jbjg24m
WHERES THE ARTICLE ABOUT THE 65 YR OLD WOMAN AND SEX HARRASSMENT ??
Reply
Thursday 26 March
By PoopDog
LOOK UP GENIUS!
Thursday 26 March
By Smarter than he is...
Hey Brainiac that's looking for the story..........do you know how to click on a link? Here's a hint.................it's blue!
Thursday 26 March
By kenzo
The story is right there.
Just click on the link .
Reply
Thursday 26 March
By Teri
WOW! Did someone just post someones' address! I hope she has a good lawyer! This is not funny at all!
Reply
Wednesday 13 May
By Barbara Goddard
Terri,
What the article didn't print was that when the guy came to my back door, he tried to get in my window. Oh and by the way it is a SHE that is harassing me and hasn't stopped.
Thursday 26 March
By Sandy
Why do you assume that all stalkers are men? I know of many cases where the intrusive individual is a woman. Are you a sexist? Do you believe that only men are criminals? Go to your local law enforcement agency and see the statistics on crime. You will find that many perpertrators are women.
Reply
Wednesday 13 May
By Barbara Goddard
sandy,
The perpetrator is a woman and she is still sending guys to my home just two weeks ago.
It would be good to hire an attorney but if they can't prove she is the one who set up the profile for me on Craigslist /casual encounters than it would be a no win situation.
Thursday 26 March
By Dianne
Someone had done that to me, however, I persued them in a civil lawsuit. Once I had their identity , I dropped it, but, the local police also know who they are. this woman should call attorney, the one I used is out of Miami. He's a pro at the internet stalker, harassment cases. His name is Fischman. The Fischman Law Firm, P.A. Miami, Fl. He's good at what he does and can possibly help find the person so you can decide the value/ lack of/ in suit civilly.
Reply
Thursday 26 March
By Cheri
Not nice....if he's a deadbeat dad, go after him in court. A public forum is not appropriate.
Reply
Monday 27 April
By Tom
Crazy stuff. It's actually pretty easy to find the culprit. Every IP address is much luck a calling card or home address. Obviously it's someone that knows her. First it is a crime. It's a wanton act. Meaning, the intent is there to perform the harrassment so that in itself is a crime. Now the woman's safety is in jeopardy.
Once a case is filed, all the police have to do is subpoena craigslist to gather the the identity of the culprit and the case can be solved.
Reply
Thursday 26 March
By Gary
IP addresses can be spoofed...every (il)legitemate hacker knows how to do that. If this is someone not that talented, they can be caught; if they are good, no way. Not unless someone is physically or financially harmed (or national security is involved) will the cops devote the resources necessary to catch a pro. Too bad, too...as a "white hat", I'd like to find someone doing something like that...I have something very special, just for them...
Thursday 26 March
By Teri
WOW! Did someone just give out her ex's address? Hope she has a good LAWYER ! It's never nice yo play dirty! (I TOUGHT I'VE SEEN SOME LOW COMMENTS ON AOL!) DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!
Reply
Thursday 26 March
By Nat
ha ha, good idea!!!
Reply
Thursday 26 March
By pken432253
The laws need to change!! There is too much freedom for bullying, whether it is on the web, mean boys or girls in school, or even in my situation, mean girl adult Moms/ neighbors who spread lies about you and your kids so no one will like you. Grown up mean girls who are teaching their kids how to be mean kids. Sounds absolutely rediculous, it's true, and a slander lawsuit is considered frivolous. We either put up with it, or move out of the house we built and love. Sucks that the bad guys/girls seem to have more rights than the recipients of their evil. The laws need tochange to protect the people who are being harrassed!!!! The cycle of mean harrassment needs to stop.
Reply
Thursday 26 March
By Amanda
OMG...Doesn't anyone have to stand up for what they do anymore. We should have the right to add a bad father to the list if it is our opinion....right? He can come here and say what he wants also. I think the story is sad...but like it was said she knows who is doing it...why can't the police help??? They aren't concerned yet...She is still alive...
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