YouTube video (in which she adorably pitches her cookies as a way to "help me help others") and an online order form (that limited orders to people in her area) to help her peddle her wares.
Apparently her forward-looking business plan angered some of the other parents, who went tattling to the Girl Scout Cookie Program. She was booted offline, with the organization citing their "longstanding prohibition of online sales."
Seriously? Get with the times, GSA. The Scouts are supposed to be teaching important life and career skills, and Internet savvy is definitely on that list.
Click hereto read why we think cutthroat cookie marketing is nothing new.
13. Funnel Cake from a Creepy Guy at the Fair, Calories: 760, Total Fat: 44 g It's like a rite of passage when you go to a boardwalk or carnival. Chase it with some cotton candy and then get back to Skee-Ball with a renewed sense of energy.
12. Jamba Juice Peanut Butter Moo'd Power Smoothie, Calories: 1,170, Fat: 30 g ... from a smoothie! Tacking the word "smoothie" at the end of a name instantly makes it better for you, so no biggie. That's why we have entire-pepperoni-pizza smoothies for lunch every day.
11. Applebee's Sizzling Apple Pie with Ice Cream, Calories: 1,086, Total Fat: 56 g There's nothing more American than warm apple pie -- that has over a thousand calories. The ice cream melts over the sizzling sugary crust, creating a hot-and-cold classic for your piehole.
10. Dairy Queen Georgia Mud Fudge Blizzard, Calories: 1,490, Total Fat: 83 g When something has "dairy" and a reference to the south in its name, you can bet it's going to err on the side of decadent.
9. Chili's Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie, Calories: 1,600, Total Fat: 78 g Why have dessert when you can have novelty dessert?! It comes to your table fajita-style, sizzling in a cast iron skillet. And it's soaking in a vat of cinnamon butter. (Kind of like your heart.)
Southeast Star, Flickr
8. On the Border Chocolate Turtle Empanadas, Calories: 1,280, Fat: 81 g Really, how better to wash down a meal of fried flour, refried beans and guac than a pile of pastries filled with chocolate, caramel and pecans. With ice cream. Delicioso!
7. Don Pablo's Chocolate Volcano Cake, Calories: 1,380, Total Fat: 77g (Not to be confused with the 1997 film.) Take one chocolate cinnamon cake, drop it in a pool of molten chocolate butter sauce, scoop ice cream on top and shovel into maw. Burp.
6. Friendly's Caramel Fudge Brownie Sundae, Calories: 1,530, Total fat: 70 g An Oreo brownie with five scoops of ice cream, hot fudge, caramel and whipped cream. Who could have guessed those ingredients would add up to such high digits? We blame new math.
5. Baskin-Robbins Heath Bar Shake, Calories: 2,310, Total Fat: 108 g We like our coffee like we like our men: blended with Heath ice cream and caramel and tastefully garnished with whipped cream and pieces of candy bars.
4. Cosi Double Trouble Brownie Sundae, Calories: 1,594, Total Fat: 95 g "One warm chocolate brownie & one blondie topped with two scoops of vanilla ice cream, whipped cream & a cherry." Seven nights on the treadmill, alternating between self-loathing and considering eating another one when you get home.
If you were ever a Girl Scout, you know that the girls who sold the most were always the ones whose parents brought the order form to work, bullying their co-workers into buying a few boxes or risk looking like a cookie-and-kid-hating jerk.
My troop boasted the hot-shot-lawyer dad who always bought just enough boxes to make sure his daughter came in first place and handed them out to clients all year-round.
In our opinion, not only is Wild Freeborn a competent and with-it businesswoman but she's totally leveling the playing field for the girls whose parents don't do their bidding.
Tell us! Is it time for the Scouts to update their program for the 21st century, or should they hold fast to their analog tradition?
Insistent Instant Messenger: No matter how much time or miscommunication could be spared by talking face-to-face, this person insists on talking virtually, via IM or email. If they're a superior and you're not online, they send you an email to ask where you are (meanwhile you're at your desk, ten feet away).
Cycle Sister: This is a person you're not particularly fond of, but for whatever cosmically twisted reason, your daily routine is synched up -- you walk into work at the same time, and from there, you see your Cycle Sister in the bathroom, on your smoke break, at the vending machine, and on the way out. Even if you do like this person alright, the sheer coincidence makes things creepy and awkward.
Mr. Flibble, Flickr
The Get-a-Lifer: This person asks you out to post-work drinks on a regular basis, despite the fact that you always decline. And the one time you went to a party at their house, it ended up being the two of you playing Taboo. The Get-a-Lifer is often the same person who plans meetings at 6 p.m. on Fridays, not realizing that everyone else goes out with their friends on the weekend.
Listserv Leech: If someone has taken this person's lunch out of the fridge, the entire staff will be notified via the staff listserv, which everyone else uses exclusively for professional communication. Alternately, this person may use the listserv to let everyone know about the lack of toilet paper in the bathroom, a party they're throwing, or to ask who took that package off their desk.
Angry Typist: The Angry Typist pounds on her keyboard with the vigor of someone hitting their ex-boyfriend. The violent clacking leads to many misunderstandings, as this person is often unaware of their problem and is not actually pissed.
The Toilet Mouth: You're on the pot midstream (or worse) when the Toilet Mouth strikes up a conversation. This person also likes to chatter at the sink for before and after they go, giving no one in the bathroom privacy to do their business.
Megan *, Flickr
Monday Manic: The coffee hasn't hit your bloodstream yet, and the Monday Manic is flittering about, imbued with an unnatural amount of energy and optimism. They're telling stories about how freaking great their weekend was and so stoked about the work they get to do that day.
Old News Hound: OMG, did you hear that Lindsay Lohan is dating a girl!? The Old News Hound is always the last to know about everything, but the first to belt out at a stale headline at full-volume to their surrounding coworkers.
Rash Revealer:This person has no shame getting on the phone with their doctor, their spouse, their aunt, or their mom to discuss a rash, a yeast infection, and any other personal bodily defect or medical issue.
The Chit-Chat Blaster: If this person catches you in the break room or on your way out of the bathroom, you're done for a half an hour later they're still yammering away about the paint samples they're considering for the livingroom, the deli they ate at for lunch, the meeting the boss called earlier, the diet they're on. The Chit-Chat Blaster also doesn't notice you inching away, and generally lack the ability to pick up social cues.
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